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  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Financial Issues

Financial Issues This forum is for discussing any of the financial issues involved in your divorce.

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  #21  
Old 10-14-2021, 01:58 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ifonlyihadknown View Post
Funny, my ex refused to work and had a pattern of quitting jobs but I was told by everyone, including people on this forum, that all this meant was that I agreed to this (I didn't) and therefore was on the hook for support.

Hopefully the OP will have better luck than I did.

You had a rule of 65 element to your case and she was approaching retirement which made it difficult. In a 25 year marriage where the ex doesnt work (and probably didnt work when the kids were young) its hard to argue non entitlement.
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  #22  
Old 10-14-2021, 02:23 PM
ifonlyihadknown ifonlyihadknown is offline
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Yes, I'm an "indentured servant" for an indefinite period of time. I think my only hope is to retire with no savings or pension and hope to be released from bondage.
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  #23  
Old 10-14-2021, 02:59 PM
iona6656 iona6656 is offline
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Originally Posted by pinkHouses View Post
I want to know too! My lawyer told me no way around spousal support.
How was it your ex was not entitled to it and why was your lawyer so confident?
basically what rockscan said. length of marriage (mine was <5 years); if anyone's career took a hit from the marriage it was mine as I took the year mat leave, turned down a career advancing offer, etc etc....

his income is/was very good. etc. no issue of self-sufficiency.
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  #24  
Old 10-15-2021, 11:52 AM
pinkHouses pinkHouses is offline
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There are 3 levels, nothing is written in stone and strict though:

low, mid and high when it comes to spousal support and there are varying ranges in each.
The length of spousal support varies as well.

The worst thing ever is the support for the rest of their life at some level.

It is offensive that anyone would be forced into a lifetime of service to someone else because they were generous enough to let them be a househusband or housewife for 20 years.

It is contradiction to say that a housewife's work has value and so should be compensated but after the marriage this value has no value when it comes to compensating the employed spouse.
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  #25  
Old 10-15-2021, 12:16 PM
iona6656 iona6656 is offline
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Originally Posted by pinkHouses View Post

It is contradiction to say that a housewife's work has value and so should be compensated but after the marriage this value has no value when it comes to compensating the employed spouse.
but isn't there usually a basic income imputed into spousal support?

Also- it's more than just the "housewife's work" - it's the sacrifice that person (male or female) made in furtherance of a family. Often times that person is sacrificing future earning potential if a decision is made that they will be the one to stay at home with the family.
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  #26  
Old 10-15-2021, 12:42 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pinkHouses View Post
There are 3 levels, nothing is written in stone and strict though:

low, mid and high when it comes to spousal support and there are varying ranges in each.
The length of spousal support varies as well.

The worst thing ever is the support for the rest of their life at some level.

It is offensive that anyone would be forced into a lifetime of service to someone else because they were generous enough to let them be a househusband or housewife for 20 years.

It is contradiction to say that a housewife's work has value and so should be compensated but after the marriage this value has no value when it comes to compensating the employed spouse.

And heres where you lose sympathy. My mom stayed home because my dad was a traveling salesman. Someone had to be there for us until a certain age. As a result, she lost about 15 years in the workforce and necessary training (when she was ready to go back, computers had replaced typewriters). She worked at home on various odd jobs (research, assembly, craft support) but that wasnt enough to support us. Meanwhile my fathers employment and income increased by 60%. Not to mention he refused to pay child support. Which meant he had to pay a monthly amount until she died. He complained about it all the time including a month after her death which was incredibly painful as she had been seriously ill. I had zero sympathy for him.

Being a housewife is not easy. Hell, most of the complaints from people the last 18 months have been about their kids being home. One of you did stay home to keep house which allowed the other to advance in their career. Regardless of who made that decision or why, it isnt fair to claim you are indentured. Your ex was technically indentured at home. Finding a job after losing several years at home isnt easy. Whatever their reasons or excuses, many exs have the potential of no option of getting a good paying job because of the time lost.
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  #27  
Old 10-15-2021, 01:11 PM
pinkHouses pinkHouses is offline
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I didn't ask for sympathy and it is not my situation.
I find it repulsive that one person is indebted in servitude to work for the other for many continuing years (life) while the other does not work at all.
They sure as heck are not being imputed 60K/year.

I have heard of guys working till they were 70+ years while for the previous 15 their ex had no responsibility for work and lived quite the fun life.

That housework or whatever during the marriage is no longer provided and the court puts what monetary value on it?

P.S. My ex didn't sacrifice anything, she simply didn't like her job and quit. I did more parenting and housework than they did.
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  #28  
Old 10-16-2021, 02:47 AM
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Tayken Tayken is offline
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Here is the kicker situation to compare against.

Married partners.
One worked.
One didn't.

Working partner dies suddenly.

No life insurance.

No life time of support. At best the surviving spouse gets welfare. But, statistically speaking the majority go back to work and some how... survive and don't end up on the streets or die of starvation.

Ultimately, there are very few "stay at home parents" and there are even less every year. At one point the concept of "spousal support" will be a historical event that people study as no one will be a "stay at home parent". Especially if inflation keeps on this pace...

Here is a Forbes article that touches on the subject: https://www.forbes.com/sites/emmajoh...h=3732e7213eca

Last edited by Tayken; 10-16-2021 at 02:57 AM.
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