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Political Issues This forum is for discussing the political aspects of divorce: reform to divorce laws, men's rights, women's rights, injustices in the divorce system, etc.

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  #21  
Old 08-27-2021, 02:17 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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I was raised by a single mother by a deadbeat dad who didnt pay support for any of his seven kids from two mothers. An eighth child was put up for adoption. Dont lecture me on how terrible it is to hold up deadbeats.

Yes there are a lot of women who skip out and dont pay but overall the number is higher (much much higher) for male deadbeats. Is it terrible to be lumped in that category, sure but its not as bad as you think.

Instead of holding up this persecution, do something about your situation. More courts are awarding shared custody and recognizing the important role fathers play.

Holding onto anger about something that cant be changed by venting on a forum is useless. Speak to your local MP and lobby them for change.


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  #22  
Old 08-27-2021, 03:03 PM
cleanSlate cleanSlate is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rockscan View Post
Yes there are a lot of women who skip out and don�t pay but overall the number is higher (much much higher) for male deadbeats. Is it terrible to be lumped in that category, sure but it�s not as bad as you think.
This is not about you.

Is there data to support the claim that there are a greater number of deadbeat dads, if so please point me to it. There isn't because there is no data on underemployed women.

The system punishes the person that earns and rewards those that simply choose to do little to nothing. Normally the person that earns is the man. the non-earner has a lot of future incentive not to work and a lot of incentive for easy money via the children. It is an abusive system to all but the abuser.

Marriage is a terrible deal and it seems a huge failing that one requires legal advice to get out of a marriage but not legal advice to get into one.
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  #23  
Old 08-27-2021, 04:01 PM
Newfie76 Newfie76 is offline
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Originally Posted by cleanSlate View Post
This is not about you.

Is there data to support the claim that there are a greater number of deadbeat dads, if so please point me to it. There isn't because there is no data on underemployed women.

The system punishes the person that earns and rewards those that simply choose to do little to nothing. Normally the person that earns is the man. the non-earner has a lot of future incentive not to work and a lot of incentive for easy money via the children. It is an abusive system to all but the abuser.

Marriage is a terrible deal and it seems a huge failing that one requires legal advice to get out of a marriage but not legal advice to get into one.
Well said…..
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  #24  
Old 08-27-2021, 04:21 PM
Newfie76 Newfie76 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rockscan View Post

Yes there are a lot of women who skip out and don�t pay but overall the number is higher (much much higher) for male deadbeats. Is it terrible to be lumped in that category, sure but it�s not as bad as you think.

Instead of holding up this persecution, do something about your situation. More courts are awarding shared custody and recognizing the important role fathers play.

Holding onto anger about something that can�t be changed by venting on a forum is useless. Speak to your local MP and lobby
Courts don’t recognize dead beat mothers… politicians refuse to acknowledge publicly as feminists hold the vote (ie Trudeau under the transparent veil of feminism). CRA still requires the woman of the house hold to receive Child bonuses even if she is not the mother… etc…The system is weighted heavily in favour of women.

Local politicians do know who I am. Behind closed doors they support… in public it would be suicide because people with opinions like yourself that remain the minority with much power… decide the vote. Maybe in 40 years we will have equality. But not this election.

Your personal situation is a very small minority of the fact. A small percentage of men skip on child support payments…. A large portion pays… while another portion struggle to pay…In respect to the two latter categories… lookup the suicide rates of paying men… and then lookup the suicide rates of women. Only facts tell the truth.

Mean while a staggering amount of women happily receive court ordered child support payments and then use the excuse they can’t work (don’t want to work)… however when a man does not work…he is a dead beat dad. When a woman does not work and receives child support she is the victim. Lol how anyone buys this BS is beyond me. A society raised on Montel Williams and Jerry Springer episodes?

You need to do your research… having someone tell you the facts on a web forum (paid by a law firm working the industry to its best)…will not do anyone any good. Your situation is the very small minority… I feel sorry for you situation… but it’s not the majority.
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  #25  
Old 08-27-2021, 05:45 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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Again, while there is a desire to vent, berating people on a forum or shouting into the wind does nothing. Speaking to a qualified professional would be helpful.

I also note you want data but failed to provide any yourself. All of the most wanted people on the FRO site are men. Most of the court cases posted on Canlii are men. The stories you hear about of high profile arrests on deadbeats are men.

I think it is terrible that there is no fairness in the system but perhaps thats because not many cases go forward with men fighting for more. As many people on this forum saygo for 50/50. Yet there are a few men who have posted that they cant, they dont have time, they are scared to parent alone etc. Until more men push the court system, there will be no jurisprudence.

I will also point out there is a poster here who believes she is entitled to all the support she wants to continue to travel several times a year, get blow outs and live in a free home with her bf who makes an income from her business she quit a job to open. I am pretty harsh with her on this topic and tell her straight up to get a job and stop depending on her ex.

You married this woman and have children with her. She disappeared and you still pay her. Have you filed in court yet to stop it? Has she come back to take back her responsibility? You are the master of your own case and while your situation is terrible to you, the system isnt totally to blame. You made a choice. I say this freely to my husband as well. He made a choice to marry a psycho. He refused to fight for what he was entitled to. He lost his kids. He cant blame the system.
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  #26  
Old 08-27-2021, 06:26 PM
Newfie76 Newfie76 is offline
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Originally Posted by rockscan View Post
Again, while there is a desire to vent, berating people on a forum or shouting into the wind does nothing. Speaking to a qualified professional would be helpful.
Rockscan…. You clearly indicated I need to seek help. Lol you do realize this is a form of berating? Obviously you come from a closed side of the argument… and are unwilling to look at anything beyond what you feel is right. Jensen why others need help and not … maybe… yourself.

I had no intention of posting links to the facts that are easily found through multiple sources throughout the net… one such tool available is called Google. I find solace in doing my own research. It’s human nature to discredit what one says… unless you do your own research. Hence why would I provide the numbers when you could learn for yourself how your own beliefs are not correct. I’ve yet to find credible evidence of the issues woman face in divorce other than they need more money….which can be solved… education and employment. It starts there.

I do agree with some of your last post… why vent on a board such as this? So I ask you why do you post on this board? I hope you have been giving better advice than what you have on this topic. Your facts are all wrong. You never even acknowledged the differences in suicide rates between mothers and fathers of divorce. That’s a serious issue. People just don’t go around killing themselves. There must be a reason.. Don’t you want to know why? Maybe research some of the truth before trying to push your flawed beliefs onto others? Ie get a therapist! Lol great advice!

The system is very much broken and weighted heavily against men. I suggest you utilize some of your time that you spend on this forum (many years as I can see) and research the truth. But first learn how to conduct unbiased research first…then learn to identify biased claims.. Lol I only came on here to try and close my account… (got caught on this darn topic lol) tired of getting updates on bad advice people give on this forum. Just waiting for the webmaster to close my account.
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  #27  
Old 08-27-2021, 07:34 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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Yet the rates of domestic violence against women have gone up since the start of the pandemic. And the rates of divorce have also increased. And the courts are backed up preventing many parents from getting support amounts set. Yes your situation sucks for you but are your kids ok? Do they have food on the table? A stable roof over their head? Their parent not being beaten nightly? They arent being apprehended by CAS?

Yes there are plenty of people who take advantage of the system and get away with shit. This is a very disgusting fact. Why are the suicide rates of men so high? I cant answer that. Perhaps it is because men are less likely to seek out support from a mental health professional because of the stigma attached to it. They feel beaten down, ignored and discriminated against. Hence why I said get a therapist.

Not to mention that the many single moms who have a hard life raising kids alone with limited financial and support resources dont complain. You dont hear about it because many of them dont bother or they are trying to feed their kids, keep them safe and make sure they are healthy. Just like men feel down trodden, so do many single moms. Have you read cases of mothers fighting for their kids? Heard stories from food banks, domestic violence shelters and community support groups? The numbers are increasing and the pandemic has had a greater impact on women than men. More women have had to leave their jobs to care for their children and many of them have had to do so with a violent male partner at home. The odds are also stacked against them.

I do have feelings for the challenges family law puts on EVERYONEmen included. However, in many cases a trained therapist can assist in many situations. I have a really REALLY hard time with men who bitch and complain about a situation when it is a case of working through the system or their own misguided decisions. The original poster of this thread was pissed off about his case and refused to actually realize he needs to walk before he runs. An assault charge was laid against him and hes in criminal court. Bitching about the stats related to domestic violence by women is insulting to those women on here who have been abused by their spouse. For you, you married a woman who gamed the system and you. But you havent done anything about it or you may simply be waiting on the courts. Either way, a therapist can help you with your anger and resentment rather than a forum of anonymous posters who have their own problems. Go and talk to someone who can help with realistic strategies rather than coming here and making blanket statements about how women are terrible and men are victims.
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  #28  
Old 09-09-2021, 11:27 AM
Stillbreathing Stillbreathing is offline
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Helena in your original post you claim this government website “names and shames men”. I visited the link you provided and you are incorrect. It clearly states they are asking for assistance to find “PEOPLE” who have stopped making cs and ss payments, not men.

To answer another question you asked, yes it is acceptable, otherwise there would have been public outcry and the website would have been taken down. That has not occurred, therefor at this time, the public finds it acceptable.

You also ask, “ should we do this if we do not really know what the situation is?”
Newsflash, “we” aren’t doing this. The court system, who do really know all the particulars about each individual situation are the ones doing this. It’s called a remedy of the court when orders are breached and not followed. Each situation where a party breaches an order has different remedies the court can impose to force compliance. This is one of them.

You also ask, “would you answer the same way if it was a woman vs a man?”
My answers are not gender based to begin with. The court’s remedies for non payment of court ordered cs and as are also gender neutral. The law applies to both male and female payors who breach a cs or ss order. The website does not post photos based on gender but based on non compliance with court ordered cs and ss. Next week there could be photos of females only. The week after there could be photos of bisexual, pan sexual, homosexual, lesbian or other genders posted, all because they are in breach of a cs or ss order not because of their sex or sexual orientation.
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  #29  
Old 09-09-2021, 02:44 PM
iona6656 iona6656 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Newfie76 View Post
Why does society continue to protect the “poor woman”? Granted there are some bad dudes out there…. But for every dead beat dad there are at least 3 dead beat mothers… mothers that only receive support and never pay it. Thus never finically contributing towards their own children’s future.

Ok…cute the feminists! I guess I opened up the door to tge argument of lack of opportunities for women etc. Which is complete BS!

Women need to start paying their dues! I’m tired of carrying them. There are education programs available…re-training etc…some are actually paid for by the government as they can’t find enough people to fill the roles. Yet… men continue to pay for these dead beat women…. Lazy entitled women….

I personally investigated the idea of a Dead Beat Mothers website 6 years prior… the legal defence against the well funded feminists groups is insane. Not worth the effort… and questionable as “legal” in Canada.
Your posts always make me laugh.

To be clear- it's at you. And your ranting.
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  #30  
Old 09-10-2021, 01:35 PM
cleanSlate cleanSlate is offline
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Originally Posted by iona6656 View Post
Your posts always make me laugh.
To be clear- it's at you. And your ranting.
He isn't wrong.
It pays very little more to actually work in many cases. Here is a nice one.

-legal aid for those that don't work but get 1/2 of the assets and child support while the working parent gets no help. How is that fair?


Please don't say you are laughing at him.
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