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  • Mr Toronto,

    The father had been asking the child have a proper relationship with both parents (50/50) and that's what was ordered. After the trial, based on several reasonable offers to settle made by the father in the preceding year, the mother was ordered to pay significant legal costs to the father. This because the father had incurred significant legal costs after the first offer to settle only because the mother did not agree to it.

    Comment


    • Originally posted by somethingelse View Post
      Mr Toronto,

      The father had been asking the child have a proper relationship with both parents (50/50) and that's what was ordered. After the trial, based on several reasonable offers to settle made by the father in the preceding year, the mother was ordered to pay significant legal costs to the father. This because the father had incurred significant legal costs after the first offer to settle only because the mother did not agree to it.
      This is why offers are so important.

      Make them anytime you have something to offer. Make them fair (50/50 is fair) and don't worry when you don't hear back. If they want to settle you will know.

      ASK FOR COSTS

      Comment


      • I like FB's offer on pg 46. I want to send one like that today. How do I brng up costs in a respectful manner? Do I send an e-mail notifying ex's lawyer an offer is on the way and remind him that I will be seeking all costs? Or do I include it in the registered "offer to settle letter"? Im basically using FB's from pg 46 minus the "orders" and "that justice seems fit" so that I can match the motion. Also added interim without prejudice for EOW's. But I really want to drill in to his head that I DO know my rights and I WILL be seeking costs, but I don't want him to go ballistic and hinder my current access. In other words .. how do I gently let him know that I know he's dragging this out when it could be getting dealt with and where to I mention costs and how do I phrase it without him saying Im threatening, etc. This is a guy who told judge I DEMANDED ex give me access right away when all my inquiries have been quaint and polite.
        Last edited by LovingFather32; 06-03-2014, 11:24 AM.

        Comment


        • Originally posted by LovingFather32 View Post
          I like FB's offer on pg 46. I want to send one like that today. How do I brng up costs in a respectful manner? Do I send an e-mail notifying ex's lawyer an offer is on the way and remind him that I will be seeking all costs? Or do I include it in the registered "offer to settle letter"? Im basically using FB's from pg 46 minus the "orders" and "that justice seems fit" so that I can match the motion. Also added interim without prejudice for EOW's. But I really want to drill in to his head that I DO know my rights and I WILL be seeking costs, but I don't want him to go ballistic and hinder my current access. In other words .. how do I gently let him know that I know he's dragging this out when it could be getting dealt with and where to I mention costs and how do I phrase it without him saying Im threatening, etc. This is a guy who told judge I DEMANDED ex give me access right away when all my inquiries have been quaint and polite.
          One offer is to settle ALL mattes on a final basis. Part of the offer will relate to costs, you would state that both parties are responsible for their own costs.

          Sending an offer to settle on interim issues is a good idea but it will only benefit you from a costs perspective if you decide to proceed with an interim motion, which it doesn't sound like you are.

          Comment


          • I think for a SC your going to get unsupervised access, I don't see why that wouldn't be Consented to by parties (clean hair test) at the SC. You basically have one obstacle for the SC being "allegations" not much else is on the table (money was done at CC) and you want to move past the allegations with a offer to finalize everything.

            The settlement offer could be inline with the outcome of the SC and parties agreeing to work towards Joint Custody prior to a Trial Management Conference and lay out an reasonable schedule for that.

            Example EOW pickup June 2014 Fri to June 2014 Sun (times)
            July July
            August then 50-50 schedule
            add in special occasion dates

            parties agree to finalize the Separation Agreement prior to TMC

            http://www.winningcourtstrategies.co...fer-to-settle/

            Just a thought!

            Comment


            • I sent an e-mail asking exs lawyer for his availability for SC dates (july 25th, aug 1st, aug 6th, aug 17th). Still no response. Is this just another thing for him to ignore? What stops him from saying hes not available until sept or oct? Status quo and dragging it out is his objective after all.

              Comment


              • I would emphasize that once one of her allegations proves to be false that she should be treated as witness with very little credibility going forward. I think this is the biggest punishment that can practically be meted out to liars in court. Generally, it seems to be applied to people who fail to disclose finances but often in cost awards judges refer to OBVIOUSLY false allegations as reasons to get costs against

                Comment


                • The CC judge wrote "custody is non-prejidical" or something to that affect, so no worries. Give him a few days, then fix the date on your own. I don't know why the judge at the CC didn't put a SC date (they usually do). Maybe the judge thought you were going striaght to a motion after the CC.

                  Do you need his agreement to set a SC date? Your the moving party (the Applicant) I would assume it's up to you.

                  He wanted a quick motion by you after the CC it's doubtful he (cares about your ex that much to make sure she get's custody) wants to fart around at conferences waiting for Trial.

                  His case gets weaker as time goes by, I told you the Court adage "the longer matters drag on with no change, the more likely the party seeking the change wins". (Meaning parties should negotiate the change, instead of waiting for a Judge to decide everything).

                  I would look into amending your Application to get rid of the damage stuff you now know you can't prove it anyways and put the stuff you will get (and it won't be sole custody) like 50-50 or shared parenting, joint or whatever they call it. The Lawyer will win all those cliams that were wrote in you application by your lame old lawyer.

                  That's why your ex's lawyer may go for the easy win at a Trial, if the claim was joint, I think the would of given up by now. (maximun contact for children by parents rights)

                  Comment


                  • Oh my god yes .. I need to amend my application then for 50/50. I was just worried because ex is going for sole and I always read that if mother goes for sole and doesnt want to cooperate at all and father goes for joint then mother wins and gets sole (judge says no way they can communicate for joint). So I just don't want that to become a winning hand for her (sole) versus my joint with her refusing to communicate or budge.


                    And for sure judge thought id go straight after a motion. He just hasnt been in the loop long enough to know what lawyers up to. Lawyer expects me to as well. I'm throwing a curve ball by not. In all honesty I would have but this forum prevented me from doing it. I'll stick with accumulating positive endorsements and watching them reject mediation, ourfamilywizard, offers, parenting plans, requests for disclosure .. hell pretty much everything besides confirming my 3 hour visits. I truly hope I'm making the right moves. I want my baby back in my life
                    Last edited by LovingFather32; 06-03-2014, 05:03 PM.

                    Comment


                    • Can you communicate? Answer that question and prove it.


                      Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

                      Comment


                      • I think amending is under Rule 12 it can be done on consent or you ask a Judge at SC if you can amend, ....the ticky box just says custody so thats okay but where it says sole below..change to joint or shared (I don't know which is better,shared means each parent 40 percent).

                        The ways to make the changes are in rule 12 also.

                        You would think the OP would happily Consent to narrowing and removing issues for Trial. The FINAL HEARING is the Trial, I think it would be hard to make amendments after the settlement conference.

                        Comment


                        • Can they make access schedules and notify one another I don't see why not they could use Wizard

                          or do you mean health,education? as in primary parent?
                          thats a normal clause in any agreement to notify other parent on matters of health education isn't it? (although toothless)

                          The ex probably needs the child tax benefit, because she lives on welfare, the support LF32 sends is going to be clawed back from the Welfare, I have no idea how even the "money" is going to be handled till the ex gets a job or how JOINT would be shared (my pun) like single person half the month and singlemom the other half? on welfare

                          Can LF32 get SOLE CUSTODY? and Ms. LF32 an access parent? I guess so but whats more reasonable to settle this matter and easier to win at a Trial?

                          Somethingelse's post will tell you (and I know) things sometimes get worse AFTER a Trial if one party already has a few screws missing.
                          Last edited by MrToronto; 06-03-2014, 05:26 PM.

                          Comment


                          • ODM, it seems from what LF32 has written that he is making reasonable attempts to communicate with the mother and she and her lawyer are stonewalling. Unfortunately, you can't push a chain. LF32 can be as communicative and kind as is humanly possible and the mother may still stonewall. Perhaps she believes that the courts will still order, as they used to, that even if it's mom who makes communication impossible mom will get "sole custody." Fortunately that's not the case anymore and being uncommunicative no longer achieves that goal if things go to trial.

                            LF32, keep trying to communicate. Don't overdo it and do keep it limited to communication about the child- don't give them any reason to pretend you're being harrassing. Make sure you have a record of your attempts to communicate and their response or lack of it. Undermining inter-parental communication won't do the mother any good. In the long term it is is harmful for the child. In the present, don't let it get to you. Exercise, talk to other reasonable humans, look after yourself.

                            Comment


                            • Somethingelse- my point was that he can prove it and that's what will matter. Facts.

                              My ex is stonewalling me now. Assuming that this was legal advice to the ex.

                              In the end, as Long as you can prove ( through factual evidence ) that you are going above and beyond and the ex is still stonewalling can only be a good thing in your favor.


                              Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

                              Comment


                              • ODM: Agreed. Sorry you're being put through it too.

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