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  • School attendance

    So, it seems there's a pattern of my ex keeping my child home from school.

    He works from home and ends up keeping her at home very often.

    My child doesn't have any ongoing health conditions.

    I get calls from the school because he doesn't call to notify them.

    I also find that he does not ensure she does her homework and states that "he forgot" or just simply does not do it.

    He's not being responsible with her education. Is there anything I can do about this? Will the courts care (at a case conference)? Does this warrant a motion for temporary custody order?

  • #2
    The courts will definitely care. It shows he doesn't put the children's best interest first. There are quite a few posters on ODF who have gone through the same situation. I don't believe it was considered an emergency but it did matter to the judge.

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    • #3
      I had this problem with ex for a while. The first step is to talk with your child's teacher to get a sense of the scope of the problem. Depending on grade level and how frequent the absences are, your child's work may not be affected as badly as you think.

      If the teacher believes there's a problem, the school can address it with the parent concerned. In my case, one option was for the principal to send a letter to ex reminding him that he is legally responsible for ensuring that Kid attended school. (Fortunately we didn't need to take it that far - once the teacher had a firm talk with ex, he shaped up and Kid's attendance improved to the point where there was no longer a problem).

      If you try to bring this up in court without showing that you've attempted to use low-conflict, non-adversarial ways to deal with it (by working with the school), you'll look vindictive. Bringing things to court should be a last resort when other attempts to resolve the problem have failed.

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      • #4
        Originally posted by stripes View Post
        I had this problem with ex for a while. The first step is to talk with your child's teacher to get a sense of the scope of the problem. Depending on grade level and how frequent the absences are, your child's work may not be affected as badly as you think.

        If the teacher believes there's a problem, the school can address it with the parent concerned. In my case, one option was for the principal to send a letter to ex reminding him that he is legally responsible for ensuring that Kid attended school. (Fortunately we didn't need to take it that far - once the teacher had a firm talk with ex, he shaped up and Kid's attendance improved to the point where there was no longer a problem).

        If you try to bring this up in court without showing that you've attempted to use low-conflict, non-adversarial ways to deal with it (by working with the school), you'll look vindictive. Bringing things to court should be a last resort when other attempts to resolve the problem have failed.
        Good point. And I have addressed these concerns with him, he just denies it. He constantly denies everything when it comes to discussions, he's too caught up in the court battle, and forgets what's important.

        Or I'll get a response that he's the parent and he gets to make those decisions and hangs up on me.

        I'll try with the school, but I imagine he'll tell them to mind their own business, that he has his reasons, and he's the parent.

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        • #5
          Schools deal with this stuff all the time, and they have ways and means of handling difficult parents. "I'm the parent" means that you have the legal responsibilities of a parent, which means ensuring school attendance for children. The school and beyond that, the school board, are the ones who should be interacting with Dad on this issue. I'd suggest not discussing it with Dad any further.

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          • #6
            Originally posted by selfrep00 View Post
            So, it seems there's a pattern of my ex keeping my child home from school.

            He works from home and ends up keeping her at home very often.

            My child doesn't have any ongoing health conditions.

            I get calls from the school because he doesn't call to notify them.

            I also find that he does not ensure she does her homework and states that "he forgot" or just simply does not do it.

            He's not being responsible with her education. Is there anything I can do about this? Will the courts care (at a case conference)? Does this warrant a motion for temporary custody order?
            What are you defining "very often" as?

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by blinkandimgone View Post
              What are you defining "very often" as?
              Not an incredible amount. But I'd have to say average of 1 time per week she is with him. Which to me is too much. It's the reasons behind it, he isn't doing it in her best interest, she is struggling in school, and it's largely because he's already working from home that day and keeps her home, it's a trend.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by stripes View Post
                Schools deal with this stuff all the time, and they have ways and means of handling difficult parents. "I'm the parent" means that you have the legal responsibilities of a parent, which means ensuring school attendance for children. The school and beyond that, the school board, are the ones who should be interacting with Dad on this issue. I'd suggest not discussing it with Dad any further.
                It's hard to just sit by and watch my child suffer, because of his decisions. No one can tell him what to do, that's the problem. He has done as he pleases.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by selfrep00 View Post
                  So, it seems there's a pattern of my ex keeping my child home from school.
                  If the child in question is 6 or older it is a matter of truancy and the school will deal with it if it becomes an issue.

                  See Section 30 of the Education Act:

                  https://www.ontario.ca/laws/statute/90e02#BK36

                  Originally posted by selfrep00 View Post
                  He works from home and ends up keeping her at home very often.
                  Again, it will be the school and teacher that will raise the issue if it is impacting the child's education and well being. I wouldn't press the issue too much.

                  Originally posted by selfrep00 View Post
                  He's not being responsible with her education.
                  This is in your opinion.

                  Originally posted by selfrep00 View Post
                  Is there anything I can do about this?
                  Not much until it impacts the child in question's education. The school is filled with professionals who will act accordingly if it is an issue.

                  Originally posted by selfrep00 View Post
                  Will the courts care (at a case conference)?
                  No. Especially at a case conference. This is hearsay evidence on your part based on your personal opinion. Unless a school official will testify that it is impacting the education of the child then it isn't really valuable evidence at all.

                  Originally posted by selfrep00 View Post
                  Does this warrant a motion for temporary custody order?
                  I wouldn't recommend it at all based on what you stated. First off, even if you get decision making powers on education the father can still keep the child home on his time and not bother with home work on his time.

                  You are going to have to come to a realization and soon that you can't control what happens at the other parent's house. Until you learn this you are going to struggle with this whole process.

                  Good Luck!
                  Tayken

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                  • #10
                    SelfRep00 What if he feels the child is not feeling well during the missed days?

                    BTW, Nice post by Tayken.
                    Last edited by The Iceberg; 02-04-2016, 01:11 AM.

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                    • #11
                      Your position is valid as well, that if the child is attending school. The other parent should be obligated to take child to school.

                      My son is in Montessori pre-school and this is the case I'm going to use, which would apply even more in your case as I assume they are school age. In this case the parent did not even need to get school involved.

                      https://www.canlii.org/en/ab/abqb/do...&resultIndex=1

                      "I recognize that pre-school may be more like a voluntary activity than an educational program, but in my view that does not matter. Children’s activities should be supported by both parents, regardless of who takes care of the initial enrollment (subject to the activity being an unreasonable interference with the parent’s time with the child). Taking a 4 ½-year-old child to a pre-school program at a Montessori school is not an unreasonable interference, just as taking a child to kindergarten would not be unreasonable.

                      [19] These parties have a long time ahead to co-parent their son. Activities for the benefit of their son should be supported by both parties. There may be occasions (bad weather, conflicts with other important activities, illness) when Mr. S may legitimately have their son stay home from pre-school, as would Ms. K in similar circumstances. However, the default position is that it will be Mr. S’s responsibility to get their son to Sweet Grass Montessori Pre-school when he has parenting time with their son. That obligation should be incorporated into the order."

                      This also trumped the parent time is more important than pre-school time.

                      "Following the application, Mr. S took the position that he was not obliged to take their son to pre-school in Edmonton, and he would prefer to spend the time with his son while in his care, rather than have the boy go to pre-school."

                      As always, we can argue with our very valid positions....but at the end of the day, the only opinion that matter's is the judge's.
                      Last edited by FirstTimer; 02-05-2016, 07:24 PM.

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                      • #12
                        A very wise and highly respected judge in Alberta: Justice Robert A. Graesser

                        Good case law.

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                        • #13
                          Speaking of which, the judge that did my court order last year was Justice R.P. Marceau? What are your thoughts about him?

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                          • #14
                            I've never appeared with him but I know he too is highly respected and has been a Judge for a very long time. Hope the decision rendered was one to your liking!

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                            • #15
                              For the most part yes, and he did write she has anger issues that is of concern of the court as it relates to my son.

                              When you say highly respected, does that mean that typically if you go back to court, a judge typically won't stray too far away when varying an order if set by a previous judge that his highly respected?
                              Originally posted by arabian View Post
                              I've never appeared with him but I know he too is highly respected and has been a Judge for a very long time. Hope the decision rendered was one to your liking!
                              Last edited by FirstTimer; 02-05-2016, 08:18 PM.

                              Comment

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