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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #1  
Old 09-28-2020, 07:23 AM
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Default 'Parent shopping'

'Parent shopping': Teens of divorced parents looking to switch households ahead of possible second lockdown

https://www.ctvnews.ca/canada/parent...down-1.5122197

I'm seeing a bit of this in my practice.
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Old 09-28-2020, 05:47 PM
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The parents are divorced / separated but they can't do the right thing and agree to a set of rules and restrictions even if they are more lenient to be implemented upon the child?

Net wise the money ends up going to the lawyers...if money was not in the equation there would be far fewer problems.
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Old 09-28-2020, 06:01 PM
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I always find it ridiculous that parents cant work together in situations like this. If you hadnt gotten divorced would you have parented separately?
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Old 09-28-2020, 09:15 PM
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Lol for many parents, they divorce BECAUSE there is a difference in values around parenting. And often it makes each parent more rigid - and authoritarian parent becames even more rule-bound to counteract a permissive parent - who otherwise would not be as permissive except that they perceive the authoritarian parent as damaging the children and trying to counter-act it.

Even in intact families kids learn which parent to turn to in a crisis and which parent to ask for favours, and children learn that YOUNG.
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Old 09-29-2020, 09:02 AM
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Parent shopping is common. Usually money is the deciding factor as to where a child will end up after age 14.

Most parents bribe the children. I give the other parent "X$" because you live there. If you live here the majority of the time I will give you "Y$" directly.

Not an uncommon strategy that works too often.
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Old 09-29-2020, 09:54 AM
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teenagers definitely respond to financial incentives and permissive parenting. It truly sucks when you are trying to parent as best you can to the public health rules and the other parent can stick their nose to them and suddenly the teens don't want to stay at your house because of so many "rules" :/
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Old 09-29-2020, 03:15 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
Parent shopping is common. Usually money is the deciding factor as to where a child will end up after age 14.

Most parents bribe the children. I give the other parent "X$" because you live there. If you live here the majority of the time I will give you "Y$" directly.

Not an uncommon strategy that works too often.
This would not be an issue if child support was somewhat equal to the actual marginal costs of having the kid live with you.

However, since child support is usually substantially more than the marginal cost, it absolutely makes financial sense to bribe the kid.

I don't blame the parents here, they are just being rational.
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Old 09-29-2020, 06:42 PM
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I detest it when you guys point out a problem and not a corresponding solution. But this is not really a new problem; I think most of us have worried about it before.

So is the implied solution to always outbid the other parent??

In my situation I know I have the leniency edge. However, I expect that any future bribe offered to the child(ren) by the other parent would be secret and subject to a non-disclosure agreement (NDA). Neither myself nor the ex would take it lying down; i.e., the existing CS order would need to be varied in court before any actual CS gets varied. To say that this process would get nasty is an understatement.
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Old 09-29-2020, 06:53 PM
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I wonder how the courts will handle adjusting child support in these situations...if it is technically temporary due to the pandemic, would that not mean cs would be temporary? A written order can be used with a maintenance enforcement agency and requires mountains to be moved before changing.


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Old 09-29-2020, 07:15 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CoolGuy41 View Post
I detest it when you guys point out a problem and not a corresponding solution. But this is not really a new problem; I think most of us have worried about it before.
When it comes to summer vacation are there not clauses that effectively state that "time that the parents spend with a the child during the summer months do not count when calculating child support"?
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