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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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  #1  
Old 11-12-2019, 04:00 PM
divorceakai divorceakai is offline
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Default Grandparents vs Daycare

My wife is not willing to let my parents take care of my kids. There is no valid reason except that she doesn't want the grandparents to have an emotional contact with our kids
The kids being 7 and 8 yrs old prefer to stay at grandparents place instead of the after and before day care
The day care expenses are immense. We are not into divorce yet and hence its common money thats spent to keep her evil designs

Is there a way I can legally challenge this situation as grounds of divorce and cruelty to kids?
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  #2  
Old 11-12-2019, 05:57 PM
LovingDad1234 LovingDad1234 is online now
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I am in the same boat where my ex doesn't want our kids to have any emotional ties to my side of the family. Keep making polite requests (via email) where you ask for the kids to spend time with grandparents, and keep the rejection emails. Document everything neat and tidy. Careful not to harass. Build your case showing a pattern of her rejecting quality time with your parents. Use the evidence in your court case. If you already have a separation agreement, use it as evidence to change your agreement.
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  #3  
Old 11-12-2019, 06:01 PM
Berner_Faith Berner_Faith is offline
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What is the parenting agreement? Do you share custody? Do one of you have majority access?


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  #4  
Old 11-12-2019, 08:15 PM
standing on the sidelines standing on the sidelines is offline
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i think saying its cruelty to the kids is a big stretch.
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  #5  
Old 11-13-2019, 09:48 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Berner_Faith View Post
What is the parenting agreement? Do you share custody? Do one of you have majority access?

Can I guess?


Divorceakai is a non-custodial parent. Mom wants to use a daycare of her choice during her parenting time. Dad would rather his parents do the kid minding, not the least because it would be free (so he would save lots of money) and he could sneak in some bonus unauthorized parenting time on the sly.


This is slightly less obnoxious than the parents who use grandparents for babysitting and then want the ex spouse to pay up, but not by much. Divorceakai at least would probably not make mom pay for the free services he is receiving.


Anyhow, legal answer:


Parents get to decide on daycare arrangements during their parenting time. You cannot force mom to use your parents as babysitters. You will have to pay your share of the daycare mom chooses during her time even though there was a free alternative. You are allowed to use your parents during your time, and you can charge mom for that.


If mom has the majority of the custody/babysitting time, then that's your fault for giving up custody. Enjoy paying.
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Old 11-13-2019, 09:53 AM
Berner_Faith Berner_Faith is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Janus View Post
Can I guess?


Divorceakai is a non-custodial parent. Mom wants to use a daycare of her choice during her parenting time. Dad would rather his parents do the kid minding, not the least because it would be free (so he would save lots of money) and he could sneak in some bonus unauthorized parenting time on the sly.


This is slightly less obnoxious than the parents who use grandparents for babysitting and then want the ex spouse to pay up, but not by much. Divorceakai at least would probably not make mom pay for the free services he is receiving.


Anyhow, legal answer:


Parents get to decide on daycare arrangements during their parenting time. You cannot force mom to use your parents as babysitters. You will have to pay your share of the daycare mom chooses during her time even though there was a free alternative. You are allowed to use your parents during your time, and you can charge mom for that.


If mom has the majority of the custody/babysitting time, then that's your fault for giving up custody. Enjoy paying.


Youre probably right and its similar to kids going to daycare when the other parent is available. Personally, with how hard daycare spots are to find, I wouldnt be giving up a spot... what happens if the grandparents fall ill and all the sudden cant watch the children? Heck, Ive been paying to send my kids to daycare twice a week for 6 months because I didnt want to lose the spot... Ive now decided not to return to work but if i didnt happen to save those spots for 6 months, I would have been screwed had I wanted to go back in three weeks


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Old 11-13-2019, 09:58 AM
divorceakai divorceakai is offline
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I should have added. We are not separated yet and are not even in divorce proceedings. That's why I asked if that makes my case strong during the divorce that my wife does not agree on grandparents getting access as the kids stay with daycare 10 hrs a day
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Old 11-13-2019, 10:13 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by divorceakai View Post
I should have added. We are not separated yet and are not even in divorce proceedings. That's why I asked if that makes my case strong during the divorce that my wife does not agree on grandparents getting access as the kids stay with daycare 10 hrs a day

What is your case? What are you trying to get?
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Old 11-13-2019, 10:14 AM
LovingDad1234 LovingDad1234 is online now
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If you are not separated yet and even in divorce proceedings, why are you walking down this path of planning grandparents vs daycare?

My advice: It is MUCH cheaper to invest in a marriage counsellor (and take that seriously) than dabbling in family law.
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  #10  
Old 11-13-2019, 02:26 PM
divorceakai divorceakai is offline
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Ok.. how much per hr a marriage consular takes? I am seeing most of them around 140 per hr. I have used one earlier.. not too good..
Right now I am consolidating reasons for justifying wrong behavior of my wife by preventing kids from grandparents access and others
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