Settlement Agreement once again

[Mother]

Need your advice guys, please.

During the settlement conference Judge told the parties to rewrite their settlement offers again and to present it to each other again.

Here is my question.

The child is 3 yo. As of right now the access parent A has is EOW Fri-Sun and every other week Wed to Thur. Parent A would like to include a paragraph about the access increase by 50/50 by the age 5. What shcedule is the best fo the child? A day a year? A night a year?

Also a right of first refusal. IS it important to include? Is it even enforcable?

Thanks

[Mother]

Also, Parent B says NO to any increases in the future, never ever was their response becase (as per perent B) "I don't like your living arrangements" (Patent A lives with their parent in a large 2 bdrm condo in a nice, quiet area).

Parent B says access increase is not in the OCL report so no increase to you ever!

What to do?

[FWB]

What shcedule is the best fo the child? A day a year? A night a year?

For a child that is 4 onwards....it's advisable to adopt the 2-2-5-5 parenting schedule..examples here

A night a year...why even bother? A lot can be achieved in one day that will be memorable to the child

Also, Parent B says NO to any increases in the future

Fortunately it's not their call...comes down to what is in the "child's best interest", as opposed to personal vendetta

Patent A lives with their parent in a large 2 bdrm condo in a nice, quiet area

OK...lets analyze this for a second, 2 beds with grandparents which means teh child doesn't have a room? Well, how long does A plan to do that for, and depending on the gender of the child, does a boy sleep in a bed with mom at age 7, 8, 9?

[FB_]

I would personally only offer 50/50 ever...it's what's in the best interest of the child... I wouldn't even offer it by age 5....NOW...

I have a 5/5/2/2 situation and it seems to work well. Others do 2/2/3/3 and some do week on week off. Really it's whatever works for you and your kids.

I don't like your living arrangements is not a valid reason and I doubt any judge would buy it.

[Mother]

For a child that is 4 onwards....it's advisable to adopt the 2-2-5-5 parenting schedule..examples here

A night a year...why even bother? A lot can be achieved in one day that will be memorable to the child

A lot can be, yes but parent B says NO! So, what to propose? As I mentioned child is 3 right now. PArent B wants the increase to be gradual.

Fortunately it's not their call...comes down to what is in the "child's best interest", as opposed to personal vendetta

Please correct me from wrong but the way I see things - to be with both parents is in the best interest of any child (abusive parents excluded). Bus this is my vision, not parent's B.

What to do?

OK...lets analyze this for a second, 2 beds with grandparents which means teh child doesn't have a room? Well, how long does A plan to do that for, and depending on the gender of the child, does a boy sleep in a bed with mom at age 7, 8, 9?

No, child doesn't have a separate room at the moment. Parent A will get their own place a soon as Parent B releases financials and NFP will be possible. So as soon as this is done and $$ from the sale of the house are released, Parent A gets own place.

[Mother]

I would personally only offer 50/50 ever...it's what's in the best interest of the child... I wouldn't even offer it by age 5....NOW...

I have a 5/5/2/2 situation and it seems to work well. Others do 2/2/3/3 and some do week on week off. Really it's whatever works for you and your kids.

I don't like your living arrangements is not a valid reason and I doubt any judge would buy it.

50/50 was offered one million and a half time.

Parent B is money motivated who says they spent $15K (hahaha) on the divorce now to get $90K from Parent B in the future (as CS). This is on record!

So Parent B does everything possible to prevent 50/50 for the above reason. On top of "I don't like your living arrangements" the other reason: "It is not in OCL Report, you ill NEVER EVER get any increase, over my dead body, get lost!" kinda thing.

What to do?

[good_mom]

I feel for you....my BF will be at his first CC on Monday.

His daughter will be 5 in March.

Access was to go from EOW and 1 day a week to 50/50 as of last September 2013 but Mom refused.

Dad offer: extra day every 2 week starting now and 50/50 starting september 2014.

Mom said no. She want as is and 50/50 reviewed when child turns 8...which means court again..

Dad has been paying full child support and has no issues with paying...he just wants D4 to have more time with him.

If parent B wants gradual increase, what is parent B suggesting as a gradual plan?

[Mother]

Oh, the child is sleeping in the same bedroom with parent A, BUT in own bed.

[FB_]

So keep offering it. It's what is in the best interest of the children.

A judge is trying to get you to settle. I would refuse to settle anything less than 50/50 that would be my only offer. Other things I would consider changing but that is/was a no go for me.

[FB_]

What does the OCL report say... Why was 50/50 not ordered when the OCL report was completed?

[Mother]

I feel for you....my BF will be at his first CC on Monday.

His daughter will be 5 in March.

Access was to go from EOW and 1 day a week to 50/50 as of last September 2013 but Mom refused.

Dad offer: extra day every 2 week starting now and 50/50 starting september 2014.

Mom said no. She want as is and 50/50 reviewed when child turns 8...which means court again..

Dad has been paying full child support and has no issues with paying...he just wants D4 to have more time with him.

If parent B wants gradual increase, what is parent B suggesting as a gradual plan?

Parent B wants ZERO increase, never and ever, over that Paretn's B dead body...

[Mother]

What does the OCL report say... Why was 50/50 not ordered when the OCL report was completed?

A shared custody was offered, nothing about any increase and no explanation as to why not 50/50. Will need to reread the report tonight.

Report completed last summer.

[Mother]

So keep offering it. It's what is in the best interest of the children.

A judge is trying to get you to settle. I would refuse to settle anything less than 50/50 that would be my only offer. Other things I would consider changing but that is/was a no go for me.

So your explanation would be 50/50 is in the best interest of the child, regardless of the report? Anything else?

[FB_]

So your explanation would be 50/50 is in the best interest of the child, regardless of the report? Anything else?

I'd have to read the report but personally I refused anything but 50/50... I was not fighting an OCL report though. OCL reports can be challenged and questioned at trial.

[Mother]

I'd have to read the report but personally I refused anything but 50/50... I was not fighting an OCL report though. OCL reports can be challenged and questioned at trial.

Yes, I know they can be and Working Dad is a perfect example of it! Still impressed with this guy! He did a wonderful job! Good for him.