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  • Child Support and returning to school

    Hi:

    This post is very similar to the recent one entitled "Child Support" I just read through, but my situation is a little different.

    My ex and I had a reasonably amicable split about 5 years ago. No spousal support but I gave her the house and she has a pretty good job as well. We had the child support agreement worked out as follows "father continues to pay child support until child is no longer enrolled in full time education or no longer living with the mother".

    Fine, I have been doing my part. My daughter graduated from college (quebec side) last May, and we agreed that child support was done. She is returning to university in the fall. She is still living with the mother, although travelling abroad.

    The agreement had me paying the majority of the school costs, in addition I would guess to the child support.

    This is my beef:... the child support covers her costs for lodging my daughter and enough left over to cover her portion of the education. In addition she is charging my daughter for the remainder of the school costs. I believe she will be probably making a few extra $'s every month while our daughter goes to school. I still have to support a house with a bedroom for her as she is often with me.

    I do NOT mind paying a reasonable amount. In fact, I would be absolutely ok with this arrangement if my ex was broke or very poor. She has a great job, I make a bit more than she does, but still... I feel this is unfair and have given her notice I am not going to go along with this come next Fall.

    Do I have even a "toe" to stand on? One thing I do have going for me is I am no longer residing in Quebec so I believe our agreement might be nill at this point.

    Obviously I have discussed all this with my ex in hopes of avoiding a big mess, but she is expecting the $$$, and running to lawyers as I am writing this.

    Any advice out there? Please don't jump all over me, I am not a deadbeat Dad, have always done my part, just don't believe the system can be so unbalanced.

  • #2
    You mention something to the effect "the Quebec side", Do the mother and child reside in quebec, and have since this agreement? Were you divorced there?
    I can't comment much on Quebec laws, or how they may differ, in your situation but in Ontario most agreements end with either 18 yrs or if they continue on to post secondary then the agreement usually allows for a Maximum 4 yrs post secondary education. This would generally not include going on before that.

    As well she has agreed that the child is no longer dependant....do you have that in writing? If you do that would make your case all the stronger if it were pushed to going to court. If both of you can be reasonable enough, could you come to an agreement... you are done and she can no longer seek support for the child. If you can get this in writing with the lawyers and maybe avoid court all together.

    Good luck.

    Comment


    • #3
      Thanks for the reply.

      Yes, the mother and child reside in Quebec and so did I at the time of divorce.

      My daughter is 19 and has just been accepted it seems to Ottawa U, still waiting on a university in Montreal.

      Don't have anything in writing from her, we just agreed that it was over when she stopped going to school.

      In Quebec, they force the father to give the courts a months worth of child support in advance (in case of a default).

      I had assumed that I could just call our lawyer (we had one lawyer together) and she would just strike off the agreement and I would be entitled to my money back. Wrong! Apparently my ex has to agree, even if it looked obvious to me that the contract has been fulfilled.

      Make sure you nail down a very explicit end to things for anyone out there going through this....

      Comment


      • #4
        Again, I don't object to helping my daughter through school, the amount of child support is fairly ridiculous though, and my ex is stating that my daughter has to make up all the costs that my support doesn't cover. This is why I am so upset. I am hoping my daughter will want to take an apartment of her own or live with me and then things will be fair. We can EACH pay our share.

        Comment


        • #5
          I don't know about Quebec, but in Ontario your legal obligation to pay child support ends on the child completing his/her first degree/certificate in post-secondary.

          Therefore you no longer have an obligation. However, it would certainly be nice to help pay for her schooling!

          Comment


          • #6
            Thanks, I did talk to a friend of ours who is a family law lawyer in TO last night. He said the same thing, responsible up until the first post-secondary degree, which is what I have done, she graduated from Heritage College with an arts degree in May 2008. I am not sure what that means though if the mother and child are residing in Quebec, neither did my friend the lawyer.

            He said I would defiinitely have a case though based on the wording of the agreement "until the child is no longer enrolled in post-secondary eduction".

            Also, he said I may have a case for making the child support payable to my daughter if I could prove that the mother is not using it for intended purposes. The kicker is proving that he said.

            His advice is to work something out, rather than have both of us spend on lawyers, which is what I have been trying to do.

            She refuses a scheme where I pay 50% and she and my daughter each are responsible for 25%.

            I am going to be really having a hard time making ends meet until she finishes school, don't get me wrong I will stand behind my daughter, but why should my ex not have to contribute as well?

            If I am going to suffer, then I might as well go bankrupt with lawyers. I stand on principal, my only compensation will be watching her have to open her pocketbook for once as well. Sorry if that sounds vindictive, its too bad, we have always worked everything out in the past .... mostly because I let her get away with too much.

            The worst part is my daughter will be caught in the middle, but she is old enough to understand and make up her own opinion now.

            Comment


            • #7
              I think that your agreement that you attempted if more than fair. You have done good by your daughter and she is old enough to understand your position in this. I am sure all of you just want what is fair and that all can live with. It's sad that Mom cant see that though.

              Comment

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