You were clear that the kid was 14, I just have reading comprehension issues. I apologize.
I think the problem here is the disconnect between theory and reality. In theory, you must adhere strictly to the order. That is absolutely true if you ever plan to go to court and fight for something.
The problem is that, as kids get older, court orders have less "oomph". There isn't some magical cutoff age. Slowly but surely, court orders directing parenting time become less important than the wishes of the child.
As a rough guideline, invented by me just now (but slightly informed by case law)
0-10 years old: Court order is the final word and must be followed
10-12 years old: Court order is the final word and should be followed
12-15 years old: Court order and wishes of the child need to be balanced. The more mature the child, the less the court order matters.
16+ years old: Court order mostly irrelevant. Only wishes of the child matters.
I'm not sure if there is an expectation that parents will be flexible. I think rather it is more an unwillingness of the courts to override the wishes of the child.
The courts would be unlikely to intervene in that case. Maybe if there was a pattern of one parent promoting non-compliance, and a demonstration that there was some harm to the child occurring due to the unilateral change in parenting time (eg severe alienation).
I think I've seen court orders on teens happen where the parent getting more time:
A) was anti-vax or crazy in some other way
B) allowed kid to not attend school
C) had some serious substance abuse issues
But yeah, the courts mostly care about young kids. They don't really do much about teens.
Originally posted by Nadia
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The problem is that, as kids get older, court orders have less "oomph". There isn't some magical cutoff age. Slowly but surely, court orders directing parenting time become less important than the wishes of the child.
As a rough guideline, invented by me just now (but slightly informed by case law)
0-10 years old: Court order is the final word and must be followed
10-12 years old: Court order is the final word and should be followed
12-15 years old: Court order and wishes of the child need to be balanced. The more mature the child, the less the court order matters.
16+ years old: Court order mostly irrelevant. Only wishes of the child matters.
if a child is 14 as opposed to 5 is there an expectation parents are to be more flexible?
If that is indeed the case why doesn’t it work the other way around? What if a child at the age of 14 decides for whatever reason he doesn’t want to go to the other parent’s house for the whole weekend or that particular weekend because he has made plans with his friends; what then?
I think I've seen court orders on teens happen where the parent getting more time:
A) was anti-vax or crazy in some other way
B) allowed kid to not attend school
C) had some serious substance abuse issues
But yeah, the courts mostly care about young kids. They don't really do much about teens.
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