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  • Ignoring a court order

    I have been separated for about 10 months I left the house thinking my kids age 15 and 12 at the time would come to the conclusion that living with me would be better ( I know bad move). Ex got very emotional and has been alienating my children against me (lawyers words) ever since.
    The ex moved 7 months ago almost 1000 km from our hometown after I charged her with assault (on advice from lawyer) do to my fears for the children’s safety and mine. CAS was involved but closed the case after they moved in to the mother in laws house.
    Went to case conference and the judge advised the ex that she has to start encouraging the kids to have a relationship with me. This has been ignored. I have only been able to see my son once since they moved and my daughter says she does not want anything to do with me (except for the phone calls everyday with no one on the other end)
    My youngest has now been hospitalized for anorexia but on the request of my daughter the hospital will not give me any information.
    My son now says he does not want to see me because it upsets his mom and sister too much.
    The only advice I seem to get from my lawyer is that I should keep paying the ex (and the lawyer more and more money). I pay child support per table and will be paying spousal support when the house is sold (not sure how much).
    My questions are
    • What repercussions can be brought against her for ignoring a court order?
    • What are my chances of going to count alone and convincing the judge that what is happening to my kids is not healthy?
    • What are some things I can try to make the kids see that I want the best for them? I send email and am guessing they are getting them
    • My lawyer is telling me that because of the kids ages that no mater what kind of court order I have if they say they do not want to go there is nothing I can do. Is this true?
    • Is there some way I can get info on the health of my daughter, or any info on my kids for that mater
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    Thanks for taking the time to read my rant any help would be appreciated for me and the well being of my kids

  • #2
    If you are the child's biological parent, i believe you have the right to any information regarding their health, provided they are still minors. If they are not giving it to you voluntarily, you might be able to request it from a judge. Anyone else have any more solid info on this?

    As for ignoring the court order, such things are addressable in a court as well, but ordering your ex to 'encourage the children' to have a relationship with you, seems to me to be a hard thing to actually monitor. It's not like policing an order for regular access... if you are being denied access, then you simply go to the court and tell them that, then steps will be taken... but you said the judge 'advised' her... Advising and ordering are two separate things. If it's just advice, it can be ignored with no penalties. If it's an order, then, as i said before, it's just about as effective as advice... since the children are only being 'encouraged, not ordered.

    My feeling is that your chances of going to court alone and fighting this are impossible to calculate, and really you shouldn't try to push it with them. You are dealing with your children who are of the ages that they can make their own decisions, within reason, and the courts will certainly take their wishes into consideration at this point. If they tell the judge they don't want to see you, then that's pretty much what he's going to go with. You can't force them to do something they don't want to do through a court order... even if for seom reason the judge sides with you, that's only going to make things worse for you because they will be doing it under duress, and that's not good for anyone.

    I think your best approach right now is to continue being a regular presence in heir lives in whatever capacity you can and give them time to see that you aren't going anywhere, you aren't going to disappear... and I say this from experience, because this is how I've been living my life for the past three years with my own situation. It takes a lot of time and it's hard and sometimes heartbreaking, but the old addage 'slow and steady wins the race' can really apply to this situation. Just be there for them, and when they need it, they know they can come to you...

    Just keep doing what you can do... pay the child support, keep your relationship with your kids and your ex on the up and up as much as you can, and if there are any real issues that arise in regard to the safety of your kids, then you can perhaps take more direct action at that point.

    I know it's maybe not what you wanted to hear, but I hope it helps a little. Good luck to you.

    Comment


    • #3
      To my knowledge, if you have a court order, you can go to court and try to get her on 'contempt' of court order, if access is written in your court order.
      If the children are 16 or age of majority and you have proof that they want nothing to do with you and if you have proof that you have been trying to have a relationship with them and have been unsuccessful, then you should talk to a lawyer about 'unilateral termination', which means if the child severed the relationship with you and clearly wants nothing to do with you, then it's a very good possibility that you can get child support terminated for these children. (and possibly retro as well) If I can help, contact me, I'm experiencing the same thing (my hubby is)

      Comment

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