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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #1  
Old 07-28-2021, 08:40 AM
Diverged Diverged is offline
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Default Post secondary details - non trad.

I am in the process of finalizing my separation agreement. Most of the items have been worked through. Post secondary has been a sticky point. I have 3 children attending post secondary in a few years. I have proposed to the ex that we pay post secondary as follows, bursaries, grants and a portion from the child comes off the top and the rest is split proportionate to our income.

My ex seems very opposed to this idea. He makes over $160,000. He doesnt want to split proportionate to income. He feels this will cause undue hardship. He has proposed that the amount paid is the offset amount of table support for each child away from home so as to prevent undue hardship. To me, he is wanting to take the child support amount he would have paid and put it toward the children's schooling and call it done. He is currently paying me an offset amount of almost $600 per kid per month in support. So, in his scenario he would contribute $600 per month for each kid while in school, plus any bursaries, income, and our own personal Resps.

My question... Are there other arrangements for post secondary splitting, other than the traditional way of splitting according to income, the have worked for others? For example using part of the child support payment etc.

With 3 children going off to school in a few years I'd really like to get this sorted, also it's the last item on my separation agreement finalization.
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Old 07-28-2021, 08:56 AM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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Child support is not used for post secondary. That is a section 7 expense. The way you have noted is how the court would decide.

If your kids are staying home, the cost of post secondary is not that high. If your kids go away, his cs is reduced to four months of the year.

If you wanted to get it sorted, you could offer that the remaining portion is split 50/50 if you can afford it. Otherwise its proportionate to income.

He should stop complaining. At least he has offset support. Some parents pay full table and full section 7.
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Old 08-19-2021, 03:44 PM
Diverged Diverged is offline
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What is considered a reasonable timeframe for responding to lawyers letters when negotiating a finalized separation agreement? My lawyer sent a letter July 5, outlining updated post secondary wording as well as wording for vacation scheduling. Up until now, my ex has been representing himself when responding to my lawyer. Our response indicated that we hoped he'd seek legal counsel to review our last items and hopefully have our new agreement drafted. In January of this year he seemed super excited about wanting all this done quickly and now he is dragging his feet.

I make a third of what he makes, he makes over 160, 000. Thus far, I have spent thousands with my lawyer trying to get these items taken care of. Seems like he does not want to play ball.

At 360/hour I'm not too keen on the idea of having my lawyer send yet again a follow up letter. This is getting frustrating because we are trying to get this handled, have proposed the standard handling of post secondary and now he won't respond.

Not sure what the next steps are? I do want to get this handled in a timely manner since I've already put a lot of time and effort (and money) into this. I don't particularly like dealing with the ex (who does?) and I feel like I will emotionally feel a lot better once we have our agreement updated, so it's finalized and taken care of. And I can start paying down these legal fees etc. and have all the issues taken care of.

Any ideas or suggestions?
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Old 08-19-2021, 04:35 PM
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File a motion and ask for costs. If hes dragging his heels you can get the court to make him respond.
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Old 08-26-2021, 11:44 AM
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It may come to this as he seems adamant on his idea of post secondary amount paid by him being equal to the offset table amount of support. We're also stuck on vacation wording. We've had struggles and due to this I requested a fixed schedule.

Filing a motion with the Court and asking for costs seems risky although I am not sure how this works. Isn't the court system really backed up and could take months more? What if I don't get costs awarded? How does this process work? It would force him to lawyer up and respond to us?

It just all seems a bit crazy as he wanted this process started, but now that it is he isn't responding and also as far as I know has not seemed legal advice he's just coming up with his own ideas of how it all works. All the while I make a third of his income and have paid around 5000 in fees with my lawyer coming up with wording and working through each section of the 'finalized' separation agreement.

I really would like this all settled, so I can pay off the remainder of any legal bills and move forward with my life with my children with everything all taken care of.
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Old 08-26-2021, 12:32 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Diverged View Post
It may come to this as he seems adamant on his idea of post secondary amount paid by him being equal to the offset table amount of support. We're also stuck on vacation wording. We've had struggles and due to this I requested a fixed schedule.

Filing a motion with the Court and asking for costs seems risky although I am not sure how this works. Isn't the court system really backed up and could take months more? What if I don't get costs awarded? How does this process work? It would force him to lawyer up and respond to us?

It just all seems a bit crazy as he wanted this process started, but now that it is he isn't responding and also as far as I know has not seemed legal advice he's just coming up with his own ideas of how it all works. All the while I make a third of his income and have paid around 5000 in fees with my lawyer coming up with wording and working through each section of the 'finalized' separation agreement.

I really would like this all settled, so I can pay off the remainder of any legal bills and move forward with my life with my children with everything all taken care of.

Costs are not guaranteed but you are also racking up additional costs wasting time especially if he keeps dragging his feet and you need to go to court. Not to mention some people seem to get the point when a motion is filed and actually get their shit together.

Yes the courts are backed up but they are still hearing cases and filing a motion may get things moving with him. If not then you have a motion date and you ignore any additional offers that come in unless they meet what is legal. You can advise you lawyer to simply forward you the correspondence (if your ex doesnt send it to you) and you will review it and make an appointment if necessary.

You are basically trying to negotiate with a terrorist. He wants to dictate to you how it goes and as he doesnt understand or agree, he wont agree to what is legal. You could also request mediation and hope a mediator agrees. Either way you need someone to knock some sense into him.

My husband went through something similar where his ex was told by a mediator what she was and wasnt entitled to. She refused to budge so my husband filed a motion. The judge blasted his ex and told her if she didnt get down to negotiating what was legal (judge also laid that out) then the order would be for more than what my husband was offering and she would have to pay costs. That frightened her into getting down to finalizing it.
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  #7  
Old 08-31-2021, 06:11 PM
Diverged Diverged is offline
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With 3 children, who gets to claim the Ontario Climate Action incentive at taxes? For example could each parent claim one child then alternate who claims the 3rd? How do parents split this for joint custody? Could one parent claim all the kids each year and just reimburse the other parent half of the payout? To further complicate this.. Looks like the government might be switching to quarterly payments next year for the climate incentive.
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Old 08-31-2021, 06:39 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Diverged View Post
With 3 children, who gets to claim the Ontario Climate Action incentive at taxes? For example could each parent claim one child then alternate who claims the 3rd? How do parents split this for joint custody? Could one parent claim all the kids each year and just reimburse the other parent half of the payout? To further complicate this.. Looks like the government might be switching to quarterly payments next year for the climate incentive.

It outlines only one person per family can claim it. If you list yourself as divorced on your taxes (or separated) you both may be able to claim it but you should probably ask CRA about it.

If you are asking about the tuition credit and not the OIC then it depends on who pays who in the situation. If you pay your ex the post secondary fees then the tax benefit is subtracted from that month.


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