STBX not communicating for settlement - LAO issues?

[DHTO]

Hi all,

I have a bit of a complicated situation - I just want my separation to be finalized and move on, while doing what's best for my kids. Also want to keep as much $$$ away from the lawyers...

• Started living together Oct 2007
• Separated Oct 2019, 2 kids
• Lived in the MH until May 2021
• MH is paid off, with a decent rental suite in the basement
• Ex lives in the MH, rents out the apartment suite
• I rent a house 5 minute walk away
• Ex works below her income potential, collects gov't benefits & CS
• I came up with an arragement that she stays in the MH for 5 years, CS offset against occupation rent so that there is no payment in either direction
• If she isn't amenable to the above arrangement, I want to sell the house and set up traditional CS/SS arrangement
• I have substantial assets from before we started living together

I proposed this settlement a month ago, no response from her lawyer. Her lawyer is demanding all of my paystubs from 2021 to date, despite my sworn attestation, 2 paystubs, and a letter from my employer regarding my salary. Basically deflecting the discussion to an irrelvant tangent.

My lawyer thinks that her lawyer is on an LAO certification and is just pushing for a trial so that he can bill the limited hours at a higher rate. Anything I can do? Right now I am paying all of my expenses plus CS while not receiving anything from her. I'm ok for the short term, but I can't bear the thought of this going on for years. Right now she is having everything so there is no incentive for her to move to resolution.

The real issue (I think) for her is that she can't accept Ontario's equalization laws - she wants all assets split in half despite the fact that I brought significant assets into the relationship. As in she is getting emotional about this and her lawyer isn't doing anything to educate her about how deductions work.


I'm sure there are more relevant details - I can add if needed.

[cleanSlate]

She has something to lose

Make reasonable offers. You can make many different offers all at one time.
She has assets to lose. If she doesn't beat your offer in the ruling then she is likely liable for most of your legal fees, she could be out a chunk of money.

Her game right now is stalling....it could also be trial but I don't read anything about you pushing trial or issues. You sound happy with the children arrangement.

She owns 1/2 the matrimonial home, correct?
As long as you are sure on the financial status stick to your guns.

I can guarantee you that she doesn't want to move out in 5 years, she wants a house. Any decent house may do though you have to figure that out somehow. Ask her for a plan, give concessions when it comes to moving so she can afford a place somewhere else?

As for dealing with the other lawyer....you simply have to frighten her with good offers if she is on legal aid. The sooner you get to a motion to move along the imputing of income on her for a change in child support the better, this puts pressure on her. I am sure there are dirty tricks too (like storing stuff at the MH) but I don't know them.

[DHTO]

Her game right now is stalling....it could also be trial but I don't read anything about you pushing trial or issues. You sound happy with the children arrangement.

I can guarantee you that she doesn't want to move out in 5 years, she wants a house. Any decent house may do though you have to figure that out somehow. Ask her for a plan, give concessions when it comes to moving so she can afford a place somewhere else?

Thanks for your response.

Right now I have the kids EOW. We have no agreement in writing, just going on the status quo. I initially wanted 3/14 because I had no experience in solo child care, my house was empty (Ex kept basically everything) and didn't want to bite off more than I could chew. With 4 months under my belt, I am feeling more confident in my parenting abilities, and I would like something more equitable, either 6 or 7 out of 14 or 10/21.

We live in Toronto, so with a fully paid off detached home there is a significant pot of cash left over even after equalization (assuming the lawyers dont get it all). Ex will have a half million dollars - she won't be able to own a home, but pretty much will be able to rent wherever she wants.

Our house is located in the catchment areas for one of the worst high schools in Ontario, so we both agreed that we would move before our eldest starts grade 9; so I'm not worried about her overstaying the 5 years. Basically I want her to pick either stay in the house (both of us would have significantly more after tax income each year for years 1-5) or don't, in which case we could negotiate SS/CS.

She is doing neither and just enjoying the tax free benefits (CS & CCB) while I spin my wheels. I started an application, and she has 30 days to respond. Fully expecting to be served on day 30...at which point my plan is serve her with an offer to settle, no expiry period, and then tell my lawyer to mothball my case until we either get an acceptance or get scheduled for the first case conference.

[Tayken]

My lawyer thinks that her lawyer is on an LAO certification and is just pushing for a trial so that he can bill the limited hours at a higher rate. Anything I can do?

Have your lawyer pull the leans on your house. If she has an LAO certificate it will be leaned against assets and you can see it easily.

As for LAO in general. Time burns most certificates. You want to rush and get things settled but, once that certificate is burned up and the well goes dry usually the other party settles.

As well, have a friend, who is female, call the lawyer for a consultation and ask if they take LAO certificates. Most lawyers don't. If they do then it further provides insight to the potential that you may be dealing with someone who has the free wings of LAO funding their nonsense.

LAO isn't free per-say and its not unlimited. You can thank a famous poster here WorkingDad for crushing LAO.

https://canliiconnects.org/en/commentaries/46148

If the other party has RRSP it should be brought to the attention of LAO through an anonymous ethics complaint. Technically, the person is supposed to run out their RRSP prior to getting a certificate. But, LAO doesn't run many background checks and MANY people lie their way into a certificate.

[Tayken]

As for dealing with the other lawyer....you simply have to frighten her with good offers if she is on legal aid.

This is very very very good advice. Pepper the other side with good offers. The LAO lawyer is compelled to review them and burn down the certificate's allocation. The objective of LAO is to "settle" matters over "going to trial". Trials are INCREDIBLY expensive.

In fact, a good offer can crush their ability to go to trial because the LAO office reviews the materials (offers) and evaluate if there is any realistic opportunity for their client's position (theory of their case).

LAO doesn't have much funds anymore for civil family law matters. So they manage it real tight now. After being publicly shamed by the Honourable Mr. Justice Pazaratz in various orders they have taken a radically different approach towards settling over trials.

[DHTO]

Thanks Tayken - My ex and I are both on title, and I haven't gotten any notice of a lien being registered on the house. Is it possible for her to get an LAO certificate and register a lien without my knowledge? I know she can't get a mortgage or open a line of credit...

Also one more thing I forgot. I'm pretty sure she changed the locks on the MH without my consent. It doesn't really matter to me since I've moved out, but can I save this as a future ace up my sleeve (to get her hand slapped by the judge)? I do still have some stuff in the MH and we haven't had any agreement on the household possessions.

[Tayken]

Thanks Tayken - My ex and I are both on title, and I haven't gotten any notice of a lien being registered on the house. Is it possible for her to get an LAO certificate and register a lien without my knowledge? I know she can't get a mortgage or open a line of credit...

LAO has special powers to put a lean on without asking you or notifying you. Have a real estate lawyer pull the leans on your house. It will be there.

Also one more thing I forgot. I'm pretty sure she changed the locks on the MH without my consent. It doesn't really matter to me since I've moved out, but can I save this as a future ace up my sleeve (to get her hand slapped by the judge)? I do still have some stuff in the MH and we haven't had any agreement on the household possessions.

You have no plans of living there so its useless as evidence in my opinion. Its just an argument point that demonstrates conflict.

[rockscan]

LAO has special powers to put a lean on without asking you or notifying you. Have a real estate lawyer pull the leans on your house. It will be there.

You can do it yourself for less than $40. Just do a title search on the land registry site. You get a statement of all loans and liens against title.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk