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  • #46
    Originally posted by dadtotheend View Post
    Unfortunately, you don't just close the a/c. Your posts survive. You might be able to convince a mod to delete them, but that's not for sure.

    The way to leave is to not come back.


    I'm insulted at the abuse here, and directed to someone only trying to help and trying to raise awareness, she has not attacked anyone in hostility.

    I heard once that a typical Canadian is someone who can complain and complain and complain but do nothing about it. That we're all passive aggressive, and dtte you most certainly come off aggressively

    I loved listening to this thread, makes me laugh. StepMom has not said a rude thing to anyone here, only try and spark change in a most outdated and non working family court.

    And what you just said, was uncalled for as this forum is to help, not abuse others and thrash your own uncontrollable anger problems.

    A mind is like an umbrella, it only works when it is open.

    Comment


    • #47
      Originally posted by ConcernenedStepMom78 View Post
      I am again sorry for offending anyone and taking a stance, I wish yyou all the best of luck in your family litiations.
      You didn't offend me at all. Believe it or not, I do like you.

      But I also believe you are starting to define yourself by this stuff. Obviously I don't know what you do outside of this place, so that may sound quite crass.

      One of the pearls of wisdom I got from the FLIC lawyer four years ago when my litigation started in reference to our involvement in the court was:

      "You are now in a life changing situation. Don't let it become a life defining situation."

      Please think about that.

      Comment


      • #48
        Originally posted by ConcernedDad71 View Post


        I'm insulted at the abuse here, and directed to someone only trying to help and trying to raise awareness, she has not attacked anyone in hostility.

        I heard once that a typical Canadian is someone who can complain and complain and complain but do nothing about it. That we're all passive aggressive, and dtte you most certainly come off aggressively

        I loved listening to this thread, makes me laugh. StepMom has not said a rude thing to anyone here, only try and spark change in a most outdated and non working family court.

        And what you just said, was uncalled for as this forum is to help, not abuse others and thrash your own uncontrollable anger problems.

        A mind is like an umbrella, it only works when it is open.
        Sometimes the truth hurts Dad. And no one is being abusive.

        Comment


        • #49
          In all actuality DDTE everything in my life has been a defining situation. Outside of this forum I attend University and take care of a large household, I read, I learn, I study and I grow. If there is one thing I want to be it is a LAWYER to fight for childrens rights and change.

          There is not one moment in my life that has not defined who I am and who I want to be, and I am proud, of who I am and who I have I become.

          Being through divorce and watchimg my stepchildren and my own children endure the hardships of divorce and messed up systems only makes me want to fight that much harder, to fight for kids.

          Comment


          • #50
            I don't think anyone is being abusive, nor do I think anyone wants to insult or otherwise upset your wife.

            I know that I am growing concerned with what I percieve as an inability on both of your parts, but moreso hers, to let go of the past and look ahead. I believe that this inability will cost you everything.

            Of course, a large part of the problem is that text-based communication is only 10% or so effective - none of us know what the others really mean...

            I was the one who PM'd DTTE and said I was concerned that if CSM78 didn't change her outlook it could damage your case. I did that because I care.

            It simply appears to us as if you're not getting what we're trying to tell you. Then again, nothing says that you have to get it: We're just a bunch of losers too

            Cheers!

            Gary

            Comment


            • #51
              Originally posted by ConcernedDad71 View Post
              A mind is like an umbrella, it only works when it is open.
              I will second that one - and hope that it goes both ways. Not the umbrella (ha) - the minds on either side of debate.

              As far as not saying anything rude... I haven't... but I was at one point told

              "FAIL.....Point entirely missed, Children have RIGHTS too!!!! Now I know why IPP was getting so upset about C-422, nobody can see past themselves."

              Which, seems fairly abrasive to me. Maybe explaining what point I had missed would have been more constructive???

              Perhaps opening oneself up to seeing our own mistakes, hotheadedness, lack of understanding could be gained by everyone, CSM78 included.

              I would suggest that you take a step back before leaving the forum, and if debate gets you upset, then stick to asking legal questions. If you feel up for debate then go for it... but if people disagree during the debate and you are getting worked up, just leave it to difference of opinion rather than feeling personally attacked.

              I, for one, would love if CSM78 could answer a few of the questions that I asked. I asked them in sincerity and was interested in the answers.

              Cheers.

              Comment


              • #52
                If it were me, and I no longer wished to partake in this forum.. I would stop typing www.ottawadivorce.com into my web browser.

                I think that would be the easiest way... No???

                Comment


                • #53
                  Originally posted by representingself View Post
                  If it were me, and I no longer wished to partake in this forum.. I would stop typing www.ottawadivorce.com into my web browser.

                  I think that would be the easiest way... No???
                  ^^ This ^^.

                  Comment


                  • #54
                    Merry little Christmas, one and all.

                    Custody disputes is not new, but rather, has stood the test of time.

                    Judgment of Solomon - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

                    In ON, the presumption exists that both parents are equally entitled to incidents of the child's custody and or access, subject, to their present and future best interest, as enumerated under statute. While ambiguous and open for judicial interpretation, the language suffices to accommodate differing circumstances of unique individual children. Like it or not, It's the only system we have, and it's better than nothing.

                    Rather than try to change the deficiencies of the system, and lose focus, would it not be best to learn the system in the first place, and from that, put your best reasonable solution forward concerning your kids and their future during adjudication or or settlement.

                    Comment


                    • #55
                      Originally posted by ConcernenedStepMom78 View Post

                      Myself included, we all sit in here and discuss custody, and access and child support, treating our children like property, carting them between two homes and two lives, and tell them "this is the way it is so deal with it".
                      This is the way it is unfortunately when parents split and there is conflict and no resolution to the problem. The children are being punished, why because the parents can't get along well enough to put their own needs and wants afters.

                      Honestly, after reading it, the only part that still sits and sticks in the article is the poor little boy, sitting waiting for a parent to pick him up, but was unsure which one was actually picking him up.

                      Comment


                      • #56
                        I read the article and disagreed with it on a bunch of points. It pretty much suggests that life was better when everyone seemed to agree to the "tender years doctrine", so much as to appear as coming off that everything was just easier when the kids just automatically went to mom. And even questioned the rights of a dad to stop an adoption of his child, even though he wasn't in a relationship with the mom.

                        In a two-year-long Michigan dispute that commanded front page attention, two couples, the DeBoers and the Schmidts, fought bitterly over custody of a little girl, Jessica. In this case the issue was the biological fathers right to block an adoption agreed on by the mother. The father was not married to the mother at the time of Jessica's birth, and had never seen the child. This became a fathers' rights case, with little regard to the fact that twenty years earlier most unwed fathers would have had no claim at all to that child. Before the ternunation of the "mothering" standard an unwed father who had not raised the child would have had no right to seek custody. Now the law acknowledges the rights of fathers who have in no way participated in nurturing. Fathers' rights have become defined as strictly biological rights, unrelated to actual parenting or even marriage. - this statement makes me want to puke -
                        Anyone who agrees that the dad shouldn't be able to raise their own child and that the mother should be able to, in her sole discretion, remove the dad from a parenting role, is effectively willing to put males/dads as a lesser being without having equal rights as human beings.

                        IMO, while it does have some valid points, it loses its push in the midst of utopia drivel and sexism.

                        Comment


                        • #57
                          I was going to write something like that, but I'll save time and just agree with Hammerdad.

                          Comment


                          • #58
                            CSM: In my situation, my son is with either his mom or myself every week, with on over night visit on Tuesday. He does not take huge bags back and forth as he has his own personal belongs at each home. I feel that the writer is not only out of touch wit the new reality for our children but also on their ability to adjust to it. My son counts himself luck that he has two parents that love him, in direct contrast to his older step-sister who has no relationship with her father.

                            This article does not support joint custody and shared access and is a product of the 90's as was the idea that a mother should always have sole custody. Those ideas belong in the past.

                            Comment


                            • #59
                              It's interesting to note that prior to tender years doctrine and its dissolve, there was a different default presumption in the common law that more or less favored the Dad.

                              However, all that has evolved over the years with introduction of legislation otherwise known as the Best Interest Test as amended.

                              Comment


                              • #60
                                Originally posted by HammerDad View Post
                                IMO, while it does have some valid points, it loses its push in the midst of utopia drivel and sexism.
                                Originally posted by Mess View Post
                                I was going to write something like that, but I'll save time and just agree with Hammerdad.

                                Exacalacalaclactaly!!!

                                Comment

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