I been lurking for the past few months and thought it time to say hello, introduce myself and, should I get the time, contribute to this community.
I recognize a few individuals that post here. I also find this one of the best forums thanks to those that do contribute to posts from those seeking direction and some understanding of our devastated family law system.
I am a sole custodial parent of my two sons. Not before going through the rungs of custody litigation that saw the involvement of the CAS, an OCL report, family assessment, 29 days of trial culminating in an order for sole custody of my children to the mother, $26,000 in spousal and child support arrears and, $45,000 in court cost ordered against me. My case had nothing to do with the best interest of the children; it was about setting a precedent for court cost. My case is still used in law arguments. By this information, some of you will recognize who I am.
Fast forward 18 months from that fateful final order, my children were apprehended from the mother by the CAS and, placed in foster care. I had no parental rights to my children. The funniest part was, they were apprehended on the Friday of my access weekend and the CAS put them in foster care all the same. I worked all that weekend on my applications, affidavits, motions, etc. I filed for custody Monday morning; I filed for a material change and, beat everyone to the punch. This forced the court to join one of the files with the CAS protection proceedings. It was almost a week before I was able to take my children home (CAS deemed my place a place of safety) which in court time is amazing. I would love to tell you the shape my children were in but my writing would slow to a crawl while I wipe back the tears. In the end, everything I was telling the court back in time about the monster the mother had become to me and these innocent children was true. Of course, the court would never admit to this. It took another year to resolve the custody issue’s and this included having half of my pay continuing to go to the mom regardless of my pleadings with the court that my earnings should be supporting the children currently in my care. I believe the reason you can not get transcripts for case conferences anymore in Ottawa is because of the way a particular Ottawa judge treated me. It was one of the last case conference transcripts you could get out of the Ottawa court house after I attached it to my very next affidavit. I also believe it was the reason I was successful in gaining custody of my sons and again, it nothing to do with the best interests of my children (although it was for a change) rather, a saving face for the court.
During this aforementioned 18 months I married and had a daughter with my new wife.
Fast forward to today and I am back in the throngs of family court hell. Turns out, my wife never wanted me rather, a child and after the child was born I became nothing more then a pay cheque. My wife would do whatever she could to impede me having a normal father daughter relationship regardless of my efforts with marriage counseling, communication workshops, etc. While my wife had no interest in having a relationship with me, I told her that I could no longer live under these conditions and that I would be seeking a separation from her in order that I might at least have a relationship with my daughter. I implied that any negotiations should begin with joint custody of our daughter. As long as the parents can act in a healthy parental role, I am very much a proponent of children having an equal relationship with each of their parents.
This would not do for my wife and she decided that the best way to remove any relationship I have with my daughter is to falsely accuse me of sexually molesting my daughter. Back in March when this began I was removed from the home, there was involvement by our marriage counselor, a psychiatrist from the CHEO, the police and, CAS. The investigation (with polygraph) concluded that my wife’s false accusations were just that. My wife learned by her mistakes and tried again in July, only this time, she removed my daughter from the house as well as half the contents. She did this while my sons were at my sisters and me at work. I was left with no alternative but to file with the court in order to gain some access to my daughter. The worst place to go if you’re a father. I was only made aware via her affidavit in response to my emergency motion some weeks later that she had made new false allegations against me. The court took her lies as gold, told me this wasn’t an emergency, then the court made an order for supervised visitation, stigmatized me as a pedophile while leaving two other children in my care. It still makes me shake my head but, it is the reality of any poor sole going to court expecting to find truth or justice in this corrupt system that has become our family law system.
Today, I have supervised access to my daughter for 2 hours every week. I am self represented because the best lawyer in town is still only half as good as the worst lawyer in town working on behalf of a mother. I mean no disrespect to those that practice family law or that are providing the best representation for their clients. In the first case, I had a very good lawyer whom did a very good job, we won the battle but, when you are facing social agendas and the very prejudicial family law system we fathers are faced with, the children became the true victims. I have the truth on my side and the court does not have the appearance of justice on their side. All the same and because of my experience with the courts, I expect that my connection with my daughter will be lost in the end. Stay tuned for trial in May. I will end this long intro with a quote taken from a letter to me from one of the most respected psychiatrist in Ottawa;
“I sit on the Child and Youth Protection Team where the allegations Mrs. X has made were carefully discussed and the Team has not come up with any reasons to be concerned about Mr. X’s behavior. This report has been made available to the Children’s Aid Society and in general my opinion and the Child and Youth Protection Team’s opinion is that the marriage breakdown has triggered a strategy of accusing Mr. X of sexually abusing his daughter as a strategy for distancing him from his daughter. However, understandable it may be that Mrs. X would want the child for herself, there is no medical psychiatric evidence that suggests that he represents any danger what so ever to his daughter.”
God bless and good luck to all
I recognize a few individuals that post here. I also find this one of the best forums thanks to those that do contribute to posts from those seeking direction and some understanding of our devastated family law system.
I am a sole custodial parent of my two sons. Not before going through the rungs of custody litigation that saw the involvement of the CAS, an OCL report, family assessment, 29 days of trial culminating in an order for sole custody of my children to the mother, $26,000 in spousal and child support arrears and, $45,000 in court cost ordered against me. My case had nothing to do with the best interest of the children; it was about setting a precedent for court cost. My case is still used in law arguments. By this information, some of you will recognize who I am.
Fast forward 18 months from that fateful final order, my children were apprehended from the mother by the CAS and, placed in foster care. I had no parental rights to my children. The funniest part was, they were apprehended on the Friday of my access weekend and the CAS put them in foster care all the same. I worked all that weekend on my applications, affidavits, motions, etc. I filed for custody Monday morning; I filed for a material change and, beat everyone to the punch. This forced the court to join one of the files with the CAS protection proceedings. It was almost a week before I was able to take my children home (CAS deemed my place a place of safety) which in court time is amazing. I would love to tell you the shape my children were in but my writing would slow to a crawl while I wipe back the tears. In the end, everything I was telling the court back in time about the monster the mother had become to me and these innocent children was true. Of course, the court would never admit to this. It took another year to resolve the custody issue’s and this included having half of my pay continuing to go to the mom regardless of my pleadings with the court that my earnings should be supporting the children currently in my care. I believe the reason you can not get transcripts for case conferences anymore in Ottawa is because of the way a particular Ottawa judge treated me. It was one of the last case conference transcripts you could get out of the Ottawa court house after I attached it to my very next affidavit. I also believe it was the reason I was successful in gaining custody of my sons and again, it nothing to do with the best interests of my children (although it was for a change) rather, a saving face for the court.
During this aforementioned 18 months I married and had a daughter with my new wife.
Fast forward to today and I am back in the throngs of family court hell. Turns out, my wife never wanted me rather, a child and after the child was born I became nothing more then a pay cheque. My wife would do whatever she could to impede me having a normal father daughter relationship regardless of my efforts with marriage counseling, communication workshops, etc. While my wife had no interest in having a relationship with me, I told her that I could no longer live under these conditions and that I would be seeking a separation from her in order that I might at least have a relationship with my daughter. I implied that any negotiations should begin with joint custody of our daughter. As long as the parents can act in a healthy parental role, I am very much a proponent of children having an equal relationship with each of their parents.
This would not do for my wife and she decided that the best way to remove any relationship I have with my daughter is to falsely accuse me of sexually molesting my daughter. Back in March when this began I was removed from the home, there was involvement by our marriage counselor, a psychiatrist from the CHEO, the police and, CAS. The investigation (with polygraph) concluded that my wife’s false accusations were just that. My wife learned by her mistakes and tried again in July, only this time, she removed my daughter from the house as well as half the contents. She did this while my sons were at my sisters and me at work. I was left with no alternative but to file with the court in order to gain some access to my daughter. The worst place to go if you’re a father. I was only made aware via her affidavit in response to my emergency motion some weeks later that she had made new false allegations against me. The court took her lies as gold, told me this wasn’t an emergency, then the court made an order for supervised visitation, stigmatized me as a pedophile while leaving two other children in my care. It still makes me shake my head but, it is the reality of any poor sole going to court expecting to find truth or justice in this corrupt system that has become our family law system.
Today, I have supervised access to my daughter for 2 hours every week. I am self represented because the best lawyer in town is still only half as good as the worst lawyer in town working on behalf of a mother. I mean no disrespect to those that practice family law or that are providing the best representation for their clients. In the first case, I had a very good lawyer whom did a very good job, we won the battle but, when you are facing social agendas and the very prejudicial family law system we fathers are faced with, the children became the true victims. I have the truth on my side and the court does not have the appearance of justice on their side. All the same and because of my experience with the courts, I expect that my connection with my daughter will be lost in the end. Stay tuned for trial in May. I will end this long intro with a quote taken from a letter to me from one of the most respected psychiatrist in Ottawa;
“I sit on the Child and Youth Protection Team where the allegations Mrs. X has made were carefully discussed and the Team has not come up with any reasons to be concerned about Mr. X’s behavior. This report has been made available to the Children’s Aid Society and in general my opinion and the Child and Youth Protection Team’s opinion is that the marriage breakdown has triggered a strategy of accusing Mr. X of sexually abusing his daughter as a strategy for distancing him from his daughter. However, understandable it may be that Mrs. X would want the child for herself, there is no medical psychiatric evidence that suggests that he represents any danger what so ever to his daughter.”
God bless and good luck to all
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