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  • Taking my kids to visit family in BC

    I just told my ex that I want to take my kids on a trip to BC in May. There is a good seat sale on and I won't get those prices in the summer. His first comment was "Well, I don't know if I am ready for them to go out West." and then he said, "Two weeks is a long time for them to be out of school."

    How much can he control my travel plans? I think this is very unfair. My son is 9 and has never been. My daughter is 16 and has only been once when she was 2. I will sign whatever he wants if he is truly worried that I won't come back, which is crazy. Can he really stop me?

    Thanks

  • #2
    Two weeks IS a long time for kids that age to be out of school IMO.

    Do you have a custody agreement/order?

    Ask your ex to compromise by ponying up some of the difference in travel costs in order have them go in the summer.

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    • #3
      Originally posted by dadtotheend View Post
      Two weeks IS a long time for kids that age to be out of school IMO.

      Do you have a custody agreement/order?

      Ask your ex to compromise by ponying up some of the difference in travel costs in order have them go in the summer.
      Do you think 2 weeks is a long time, even if planned for months ahead with the schools? They can do extra work to get ahead, take some work with them, etc. It's not an everyday occurence.

      No, we do not have a custody order yet. We separated at the end of Feb 09 and we haven't been to court or anything yet. We alternate weeks.
      Good idea about asking him to pay the difference, however I don't think that's the issue. It's just a way to get back at me. He is bitter. I will suggest it though. The tickets are less than half than normal, though.

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      • #4
        How important is it to go to BC in May? I think it would probably be a good idea to wait until your daughter is finished her exams or wait until June.

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        • #5
          You have shared custody, so he has 50% say in how you raise your children.

          It's not for us to decide if two weeks is too much to be away from school, that is a decision that both of you have to make together.

          Also, you are taking away some of his time by going for two weeks.

          Could you go for a week? If it's during your regular time, and it's within Canada, there is not much he can do.

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          • #6
            2 weeks is a long time whether the trip has been planned for months or days. The amount of forethought is not the issue, it's the missed schooling.

            And don't kid yourself about the assignments that will be completed when they are away. That's just a feel good way to justify the trip. No kid can really be expected to do the work when they are in a fun-filled vacation setting. I talked to a couple of teachers about that idea (see next paragraph) and after they finished rolling their eyes they also added that even if they do the assignments it still doesn't make up for the missed time in the classroom with their peers and the professionals that do the teaching.

            All that (hypocritically?) said, I am agreeing to let my 7 and 5 yr olds miss school to go to Florida for a week in April with my ex, but I have stressed that it's a one time thing. I don't approve of the idea in principle but a lot of their cousins are going, they are younger and it's just a week so I don't think it's going to as much of a disruption.

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            • #7
              Thanks for the input!!!

              Thanks everyone for your comments.....Spoke with the ex and he has agreed to pay the difference in airfare for them to go in the summer. Thanks for the idea dadtotheend.
              This way it works out the best for everyone!
              And as far as going for one week, that's not practical. we live in NS and all of my family is in BC. My kids haven't been there and don't know my side of the family so I want more than a week. As far as cutting in to his time with them, that's not a problem. We switch up when necessary.

              Thanks

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              • #8
                Have a great trip!

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                • #9
                  great! Glad you were able to work that out.

                  Can I ask why you have not created a legal agreement yet? Are yoiu really able to work together that much? Just curious.

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