I didn't have a huge amount of anger to start with. I had realized that the romantic love part of the marriage had been over as soon as I realized that a) she was a compulsive liar and attention seeker, and b) she had no desire to admit it or change, even if it was the only thing to save the relationship.
I stayed, because I feared losing time with the kids. She eventually created a situation that escalated, and then she and two of my kids left the house, then demanded I leave, which I did a few weeks later.
There were a few weeks when I was in shcok and dispair. Anger a little at having been manipulated into the separation, and the fact she used the kids to do it. She knew I would defend my son, who has had mental health challenges, and so she picked on him until he was on the verge of a breakdown.
The negotiation of the separation agreement was a source of some anger. She hit me with a lawyers letter threatening court, without even asking for more support. I was already voluntarily paying all the household bills plus providing cash for groceries and other things. My ex hadn't worked since a few months after our first child. But she had an inheritence from her father, a war chest she used to fund a rather nasty lawyer.
What made me angry is her alienation of me from the kids. Of course she would swear up and down she didn't do it, but the signs were unmistakable. I was stood up many times, especially when my ex was mad about something.
Her fabrications about me gambling (never happened) or having had an affair with a FB friend who eventually became my GF (not even an emotional affair) also made me angry. And made me lose focus on the separation agreement battle. I honestly think it was a calculated strategy.
A few other things made me angry, but I think what has helped is realizing that my future can be better than my past and that my marriage was dead, so it was best to move on and not drag it out any longer. Counselling has helped with some of the issues around my kids. Friends and family have also helped.
I stayed, because I feared losing time with the kids. She eventually created a situation that escalated, and then she and two of my kids left the house, then demanded I leave, which I did a few weeks later.
There were a few weeks when I was in shcok and dispair. Anger a little at having been manipulated into the separation, and the fact she used the kids to do it. She knew I would defend my son, who has had mental health challenges, and so she picked on him until he was on the verge of a breakdown.
The negotiation of the separation agreement was a source of some anger. She hit me with a lawyers letter threatening court, without even asking for more support. I was already voluntarily paying all the household bills plus providing cash for groceries and other things. My ex hadn't worked since a few months after our first child. But she had an inheritence from her father, a war chest she used to fund a rather nasty lawyer.
What made me angry is her alienation of me from the kids. Of course she would swear up and down she didn't do it, but the signs were unmistakable. I was stood up many times, especially when my ex was mad about something.
Her fabrications about me gambling (never happened) or having had an affair with a FB friend who eventually became my GF (not even an emotional affair) also made me angry. And made me lose focus on the separation agreement battle. I honestly think it was a calculated strategy.
A few other things made me angry, but I think what has helped is realizing that my future can be better than my past and that my marriage was dead, so it was best to move on and not drag it out any longer. Counselling has helped with some of the issues around my kids. Friends and family have also helped.
Comment