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Old 10-21-2011, 10:02 AM
Karver Karver is offline
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Default Separation in Alberta

Hi, my spouse and I are comtemplating separation. We've been married 7 years and have 3 kids 6 years old and under. Over the six years, we've accumulated alot of interest in many properties. All our wealth is in assets, we don't keep money in the bank for too long before we buy into another investment. He sounds like he wants to be very fair during the separation, and would like to avoid lawyers - he deals with them all the time and knows how the bills can get outrageous.
My concern is that there may be another woman and I'm thinking once we separated and he gets going with her, his good intentions toward his family may go out the window. All our investments and whatever cash is all under his company name. Even if we had a separation agreement, how could I really conrol him not selling off shares, hiding his money and coming to me saying he's broke? I've been busy being a mother and he is so smart in the business world I feel like a sheep against a wolf. His dad left his family when he was small and had hid all money and left his mom with the kids broke, almost living in their car - the were once wealthy realtors too.
Old 10-21-2011, 10:13 AM
tmac tmac is offline
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I have been there and am there. alberta as well. get a lawyer asap and get all assets listed on something sworn by both of you as to what you have as assets. we had a few assets and a house. he sold all assets and kept the cash now gone. he says he is broke and had the house let it go into forclosure and went bankrupt. I can't wait to read what other reply's you will get.

good luck
Old 10-21-2011, 01:12 PM
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billm billm is offline
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You are separating and getting a divorce.

If you don't feel you are qualified to know what is going on financially, then get assistance from your lawyer.

My advice is to find a lawyer, and for him to find one too. You both need independent legal advice to make your separation agreement binding.

BUT for the work of deciding what you want in the agreement, do that directly with him, and keep the lawyers out of it.

I hired a lawyer for advice, and did not allow him to contact anyone on my behalf. This kept things under control, and of course saved me thousands of dollars.

You have a short list of things to do for separation agreement/divorce. You should do it all 'by the book'.
1. Decide living arrangements of kids - who will they live with and what portion of time (hopefully 50/50!).
2. Decide on CS - this is simple, use your tax return incomes and adjust every year July 1 based on previous years income.
3. Determine if spousal support (SS) is reasonable, and decide how much - a lawyer can help with this, but as someone who pays support, please be fair and make it time limited, so you both know when it will be over (assuming that makes sense in your situation).
4. Split ALL assets and debts equally, everything, regardless of whose name is on it. This includes pensions and retirement accounts. Also assets and debts brought into the relationship stay with the person who brought them in, the exception is the matrimonial home, that is split 50/50 regardless of how it was acquired.
5. By splitting everything 50/50, you can be creative and decide who keeps what etc. And then one pays the other a cash balance such that your net worth is the same.

So my advice is to get out of all joint ownership with him. Do not maintain a financial tie. End it all now - he can buy you out of everything or whatever.

Just make sure you know what you want (to keep some of the properties, etc), and be reasonable in that he may want the same thing - meet him half way.

Also, if SS is reasonable, one could consider a lump sum payment for that.

Don't let the lawyers control you, you control them, keep them out of the loop for the small stuff etc, and in the end your lawyer will review everything and advise you anyway.

If your husband is good at business he should be able to do the leg work and list all the assets and assign a value. You of course need to be aware if this list is complete and if the values are reasonable. Perhaps assign value to things before you decide who is actually going to keep them or if you will simply sell them.

Last edited by billm; 10-21-2011 at 01:16 PM.
Old 10-21-2011, 01:16 PM
tmac tmac is offline
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I wish I knew about this site in 2008. great advise given
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