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  #1  
Old 11-17-2019, 05:56 PM
Gregory Gregory is offline
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Default What does this mean and what should I do

Been a rough road the past couple years together, but took a new twist a couple weeks ago when spouse started talking bs how I emotionally abuse her.

Huh, what thought I !
She had called Legal Aid phone consult in there also
Fast forward to Nov 13 when she said "child needs his mother, child needs his mother, your mistreating me, you want me to die so you can have the child for yourself " this all came out from nowhere.
So I being worried about her trying to build an abuse case, SMS'ed her that we are now separated as of 13 Nov.
She informs me that Legal Aid before had said she is not to communicate to me if we are separated. (still living together is reason??).

I don't care to take the lead in this, unless I have to, or have I committed myself?
Can I send an SMS rescinding my previous statement if I want ?
How long to wait if I am being served notice?
Do I hurt myself declaring separation and still remain in matrimonial home as the sole breadwinner?
If I started the divorce clock ticking, what is the downfall by taking no action?

Still living in silence in the same home together. My gut says she wants me to break it, not her.

Thx, Greg
Edit to add: If any recommendations for decent lawyers in London Ont are appreciated.
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  #2  
Old 11-17-2019, 08:38 PM
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Janus Janus is offline
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Triple Talaq (or any secular version thereof) is not a thing in Canada. While a text indicating that you are separated is certainly an indication of your intentions, it may not mean that you are actually separated.

Questions:

1) Do you share a bed?
2) Do you still engage is sexual activity with her?
3) Do you eat meals together?
4) Do you represent to the world that you are a couple? (Facebook, work engagements)
5) Do you take vacations together?
6) Who does the laundry?

Being separated means living a separated life. You have sent a text, and that will probably be the separation date if you live a separated life.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Gregory View Post
Can I send an SMS rescinding my previous statement if I want ?
I don't see how that could help you. Not that you are in trouble, but I'm not sure which problem a rescinding text would be attempting to fix. It could only be used against you (eg. you rescind, but then decide that you should not have rescinded).

Quote:
How long to wait if I am being served notice?
If you are served, it will contain information.

Quote:
Do I hurt myself declaring separation and still remain in matrimonial home as the sole breadwinner?
If you are living the separated life, probably not an issue. If you are not living the separated life, then the spousal support clock is acrruing time.

While you guys are still sorta friendly, I would try to encourage her to get a job.

Quote:
If I started the divorce clock ticking, what is the downfall by taking no action?
If you are separated, no real downfall. If you have kids, it probably saves you a lot of money.

If you are not really separated, extra spousal support.

If you wanted to be strategic, tell her that you will reconsider if she gets a job. Get divorced once she is employed. Getting divorced from an unemployed spouse kinda sucks.
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Old 11-18-2019, 07:13 PM
Gregory Gregory is offline
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Janus, Thank you very much for taking the time to write a detailed response. I really appreciate it !
My wife is a stay at home mom. And she does not communicate with me at all. So not much I can do there...
The amount of time from actually seeing a lawyer to the knock on the door is what I was curious about. A week? A month? Longer?

Thank you again for your help.
Greg
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