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  • House contents division

    Most professionals call the house contents a "petty" issue but with no money it seems real to me.

    We have 3 bedroom family home full of "stuff". The kids will be with me primarily and we want to ensure as little change for them in the house as possible so we won't really be dividing the house contents in half really. My spouse says that I can just pay half of what it costs him to set up his new place (a 2 bedroom appartment probably). It seems to me that I should have to pay for half of the cost of brand new stuff when the stuff we have is years and years old. I think I should pay 1/2 the replacement cost of the stuff we have. Anyone know the legal way to handle this or the way it is typically done?

    Thanks.

  • #2
    Your ex is hilarous!

    Okay, so in its simpliest form, when you are trying to figure out division of goods you basically, 'blue book' all of the household goods that you accumulated together and you each get 50/50 of the value.

    So, if all of your household goods totals approx. $5,000 in present day terms (like selling them on Craigslist) then you could pay him out $2,500 or wait until full equalization - Recommended.

    You do not owe him anything to set himself up with a new residence!

    My partner only took approx. 30% of household goods and incurred a substantial debt setting himself up with all new kitchen/linens/etc... It is his debt, not his ex's. No judge would make you pay that!

    You can feel free to giggle at him if he suggests that one again!

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    • #3
      Oh your ex's idea is brilliant! (anyone have a towel for this dripping sarcasm?)

      I agree completely with ikik. When my ex & I split, he physically took a number of our assets with him including the TV and a dresser that was our oldest son's. These items has to be replaced at my cost. Then he also went to 2 different payday loan places and wrote cheques from our joint account that I had not yet been able to move everything from for a percentage of his pay that was not even being deposited to the account, thus I also paid for his new livingroom furniture and 1/2 of his rent.

      If he wants new things, let him find what he needs with the amount as mentioned in ikik's post.

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      • #4
        Honestly, it is not your problem to set your ex up in new furniture. When my ex left, I got stuck with all the stuff, lots of it total junk, old appliances, couch, etc. etc. He hasnt made a claim in four years for it. Nor have I paid him for half of it. It is something minor to be dealt with in the end of the calculations.

        What you need to do is make an itemized list of the household contents and send it to the ex and ask him what he wants. It is cheaper for you to split the contents than pay him for inflated figures for the stuff.

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        • #5
          If you can't agree, then just split up half the stuff, and you can then each buy what you want. The kids will visit him anyway, and that will make his place seem more like home with dad.

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          • #6
            you could give him the stuff and then tell him he can help you buy the new stuff instead. I like the advice that billm and others gave. Figure out what is there, then split it. I am sure there are things that he wants the you do not want. start there and then forthe disputed stuff, take turns picking something. Who ever draws high card with a deck of cards, or however you want to do it, gets first pick.

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            • #7
              Thanks all!

              I'm glad to know I'm not out to lunch in my thinking. I'll go on the path of the suggestions. I especially like the idea of including it in the equalization which avoids me giving up cold hard cash.

              I'm so glad I found this forum of "experts" who are going through the same things and also glad that I'm now at the point where I can truly giggle (inside of course!) at the things he is suggesting, doing and even not doing.

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              • #8
                You definitely do not want lawyers or the courts involved in splitting up household contents. Take turns selecting what each of you wants. Keep it friendly.

                FN

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                • #9
                  One thing I did which I am proud of now. I took apart all the family photo albums and gave him half of the photos. It was his life too. Something deep inside told me that eventually all the pain and anger would pass so I wanted to take the high road. I also gave him some personal items, all the furniture he made and everything his parents gave us as gifts over the years. He didn't ask for a lot of furniture because he was moving in with the OW and she had her own stuff. It'll go much easier if you can try to get along and some things aren't worth fighting over. But if he insists you should pay him, tell him to pound sand.

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by keepitsimple View Post
                    Most professionals call the house contents a "petty" issue but with no money it seems real to me. Thanks.
                    It is a petty issue, especially if the two of you are agreeing so well on those way bigger issues. I wish all we had to argue about was furnishing with new and used.

                    You'll make the right decisions.

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                    • #11
                      the kids need familiar things of theirs when they go see him. i think he should take some of their things. maybe let them pick.

                      & with a house full of furniture, why shouldn't he take some things? maybe a tv if you have 2. or a dresser if there's an extra. is he really being this unselfish?

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                      • #12
                        We're working on taking some things from here to there (wherever there ends up being) and using the extras (tv, tables) that accumulate to split up. But it seems to me that it'll cost a lot to set up a place from scratch with new stuff (stereo, couch, dishes, linens, beds, etc.). It was just in those discusssions that he said he thought I should pay for half of that (and to buy new stuff). I thought if I'm going to buy new stuff - I'd rather have it in my place. I'm going to take over the house contents issue and value everything and come up with a figure that we can agree on based on what he will take and what we will keep here. I don't think he's being unselfish...just lack of knowledge on the reality of the impacts of his decision.

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                        • #13
                          You are asking for trouble if you are going to put a value on anything. The only way to split up the contents of the house is to do a walk through room by room and write down what he will take such that when you are done you both feel you got half of everything, including the bed sheets, everything. Trying to put a dollar value on things will be a futile and hostile thing and I stronly recommend you don't try it. I split the contents of my house easily, if we had had to put a dollar value on things I KNOW that it would not have gone good for either of us. My wife moved out, so it was easy for her to not get half, so when she moved to a bigger place a few months later, she came through again and took a few more things which I totally agreed to. You have to be flexible!

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                          • #14
                            I respectfully disagree with BillM.

                            It sounds like the two of you are communicating in a decent manner.

                            I would recommend perhaps talking pictures of the contents of the home and noting what he takes when he leaves.

                            I do agree that you should together go through the contents and decide what each of you want, and then even discuss and appoint a value to the article right there.

                            My partner and his ex don't have the greatest of relationships but they can communicate. It sounds like the contents of your home (like my partner's) are dated and really not worth much, therefore it sounds to me like it wouldn't be hard assigning a garage-sale price to each article.

                            To me, even if he takes half of everything and then wants to be vidictive he can (IE - you got the 'better couch' etc).

                            If he doesn't want half the stuff and wants to buy all new stuff you are still not responsible!

                            Comment

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