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Selfrepmom · #1 04-09-2019, 09:15 AM

Looking for some input here... the more this sits with me the more it is bothering me and doesnt seem right

At our Settlement Conference the judge gave ex a 30 day disclosure order for specific employment info and 12 months of bank statements- he has been saying hes been unemployed for a year when he really wasnt. He even admitted to the judge at the SC that he did in fact work at the place I was requesting disclosure from.

I then asked the judge if we could schedule a motion for CS and arrears for a date after the 30 day deadline (neither of us have brought a single motion yet, and everything is settled on in a final order except for CS and arrears). He said he wasnt scheduling it, and I would need to see the clerks to schedule one.

At some point my exs lawyer stood up and indicated that her client wants to take our daughter on an out of country vacation (all inclusive week long Caribbean vacation to be exact) and that he needs me to apply for our childs long form birth certificate in order to apply for the passport. Im not sure why she felt the need to mention this- I told my ex IN WRITING that I had no problem providing written consent for this, and would have the documents to him by the end of this month. I also had this in my most recent offer to Settle. I stood up and told the judge that this has never been an issue and that I would have it to him in the next couple weeks. Judge nodded and continued on.

Then I get the endorsement sheet from one of the clerks after were all finished. It reads Applicant May bring a motion for child support after June 15/19 and only once she provides the Resp with the childs birth certificate

- Issue 1: June 15 is more than a whole MONTH after the exs 30 day disclosure deadline. Our daughter has gone without CS from my ex from July 2017-December 2018, and a minimal amount (less than min wage guideline) since January 2019

- Issue 2: I have never and will never use our childs passport and ability to experience a different country as leverage against my ex. The way the endorsement reads, it looks like I am being unreasonable and not providing my ex with our childs proper documentation. And I dont want a future judge thinking that. Would it not have made more sense to put something about the birth certificate in our final order, not in the endorsement and as a condition for me to seek CS??

Issue 3: In my mind (and I am pretty sure within family law as well), child support and ensuring that the child is properly supported and taken care of are one of the top priorities. This judge has now made our daughters child support (for which she has received nothing- and I mean nothing- for 1.5 years, and in the last few months a VERY small amount) tied to a condition that my ex receive documentation to take her on a vacation (in OCTOBER) while he is currently owing thousands of dollars.
Like I said, I planned on providing this documentation as soon as I receive it within the next few weeks anyways, so its not actually an issue. Its more the principal of the whole thing that really bothers me. Plus, I basically have to twiddle my thumbs and wait over a month after the disclosure deadline before I can file for child support?!?

What the heck?!? Is this the norm and Im just getting upset over nothing? Or is this not right??

rockscan · #2 04-09-2019, 09:37 AM

First, can you fix your keyboard? There�s a little icon at the bottom right of your screen that is a keyboard, click on it and change it to US English. (Pet peeve of mine).

The judges endorsement is only an endorsement. Your ex could file to have it made an order but until it is an order, its simply instructions.

I don�t understand why he needs to file for a new passport if you already have one. You planned to give him the passport. For someone who isn�t paying support, why would he spend money to get a second passport?

I think you can file a motion whenever you want. Your motion judge is different than the conference judge. Plus judges go slightly easier on self rep people. There really isn�t anything stopping you from filing a motion after he misses the deadline. If he doesn�t provide disclosure then you would need to get the endorsement made into an order to find him in contempt.

Best advice is to wait for the disclosure. Provide him with a notarized consent and the passport (send registered mail) and be done with it. Then if he doesn�t comply with the disclosure, file your motion.

Selfrepmom · #3 04-09-2019, 09:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rockscan

First, can you fix your keyboard? There�s a little icon at the bottom right of your screen that is a keyboard, click on it and change it to US English. (Pet peeve of mine).

The judges endorsement is only an endorsement. Your ex could file to have it made an order but until it is an order, its simply instructions.

I don�t understand why he needs to file for a new passport if you already have one. You planned to give him the passport. For someone who isn�t paying support, why would he spend money to get a second passport?

I think you can file a motion whenever you want. Your motion judge is different than the conference judge. Plus judges go slightly easier on self rep people. There really isn�t anything stopping you from filing a motion after he misses the deadline. If he doesn�t provide disclosure then you would need to get the endorsement made into an order to find him in contempt.

Best advice is to wait for the disclosure. Provide him with a notarized consent and the passport (send registered mail) and be done with it. Then if he doesn�t comply with the disclosure, file your motion.

Im typing from my phone maybe thats why? I see no US English option. I will just try to leave out some punctuation for now lol

Our child does not currently have a passport. The issue is that he needs her long form birth certificate to apply for the passport, which we do not have either. I need to apply for the long form and give it to him, as I hold the regular birth certificate. I have told him a hundred times I would have it to him by the end of the month. I told him in writing. I included it in my offer to Settle to his lawyer.

If he supplies full disclosure within 30 days I would still need to file for a motion though no? He is not going to voluntarily up the payments even if it is laid out for him in plain English. Same with arrears.

dad2bandm · #4 04-09-2019, 09:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rockscan

...
I don�t understand why he needs to file for a new passport if you already have one. You planned to give him the passport. For someone who isn�t paying support, why would he spend money to get a second passport? ...

Perhaps I misread her comments, but it sounded like nobody had applied for a passport yet. She just had the documentation, that was required to do so.

iona6656 · #5 04-09-2019, 09:54 AM

I agree with Rocksan- except- that I would wait until the deadline set by SC judge. If you don't- you may face some uncomfortable questions on why you chose to ignore it. Your sc judge sounds like a dick.

rockscan · #6 04-09-2019, 09:57 AM

Why not just get the passport done and give it to him? It�s probably easier that way? Or just get the long form bc. Anything you can do to show you are reasonable goes a long way.

I will let someone else weigh in on the motion thing. My partner�s lawyer said his ex could file a motion any time she wanted but it was at the judges discretion. If you are wrong then you may be on the hook for costs. Plus if it turns out his disclosure is late, you have more against him for it all.

(Keyboard thing�go to settings, general, keyboard and then choose U.S.)

Selfrepmom · #7 04-09-2019, 10:08 AM

I originally thought about just getting the passport for him. But then I was like no, f this. I will provide him with what he NEEDS (long form bc) and let him pull up his big boy pants and apply/pay for the passport. 2 years of paying for everything on my own is gettin old real quick.

Mom 2 Two · #8 04-09-2019, 10:15 AM

Yes I agree. Let him do it for sure. I think mom form BC costs money as well.

Wait for his disclosure like Rockscan said. And then for sure fill out the papers for the motion.

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Selfrepmom · #9 04-09-2019, 10:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by iona6656

I agree with Rocksan- except- that I would wait until the deadline set by SC judge. If you don't- you may face some uncomfortable questions on why you chose to ignore it. Your sc judge sounds like a dick.

I agree with you about waiting until June 15. Just super annoying though that I have to sit around for a whole extra month + for zero reason. Most cases seem to put a priority on CS.

But in my case? Oh your child never saw support for 1.5 years? And the payor just admitted to us that he actually was employed all last year when he wrote on his response that he wasnt, and told the clerk at the first court date he wasnt, and the CC judge he wasnt? And after multiple requests he has still refused to supply you with that employment information? Oh and you have an offer to Settle here that forgives the past 2 years of arrears if he just starts paying the proper support amount based on his REAL income? Let us tell you what we are gonna do for you:

We WILL order him to disclose this info you have asked for.

We WONT give you costs for this step. Why would someone be awarded costs when the other party has acted in bad faith for 2 years and lied non stop, and made the first SC date completely useless? You are self represented, costs do not exist for you

And you can wait 2 more months before you can attempt to get an order for proper CS. Because we feel that the child having a passport for a vacation half a year away takes priority over her basic needs.

Family court for the win.

Mom 2 Two · #10 04-09-2019, 10:54 AM

I hear you!! I want to somehow bring up bad faith with my case... I�m not sure judges care. My ex has delayed 4 times now... 1 yr later and only 1 CC under our belt. If the next SC doesn�t get adjourned again it will be over a year just to get to that point. And my ex owes me money as well. Good on you for doing this on your own!!

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