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  • Crossing the border without parental consent.

    My ex wife has taken the kids to Buffalo for a day trip several times without my consent, I did not sign any consent better yet she never informed me she was going to take them out of the country, the kids have told me that.

    Is there a way I can report in the border her car plates in the Canada/US border to make sure if she try to take the kids out they double check for parental consent ?

    Thanks

  • #2
    I have no idea. Your best bet would be to contact Canada Border Services and ask them what can be done. For general inquiries, you can call them at 1-800-461-9999 (Mon-Fri, 8am-4pm) or send an email to CBSA-ASFC@canada.gc.ca. Please keep in mind their email policy though:

    For privacy and security reasons, please DO NOT share personal information by e-mail. The CBSA will DELETE e-mails that contain the following:
    • personal information or information dealing with specific personal or business cases (This includes home or business addresses, passport numbers, credit card numbers, NEXUS membership ID numbers and departmentally assigned case or file numbers.)
    • attachments
    • offensive language
    • requests to process a change of address
    • requests to forward e-mails on your behalf

    You can also look for information on their website: Canada Border Services Agency (CBSA)
    Last edited by #1StepMom; 03-14-2009, 08:42 AM.

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    • #3
      Why does it bother you that your Ex takes the kids for the day to Buffalo?
      You say it's happened several times so you know she's not on the run with them!!
      I'm sure the border services have more important things to deal with.

      Comment


      • #4
        Do you have some sort of fear that she will not return? Even though she obviously has numerous times already. Is it because she is seeing another man? You can't stop her from moving on with her life.
        I honestly fail to see the issue unless you had some sort of order in place that required this parental consent. Also, it will depend on the custody order you have in place - if she has sole custody (and this was stated by the judge in the courtroom to myself and my ex when completing the final order) that sole custody implies that the NCP (my ex) no longer has the right to be involved in decisions regarding the choices made by me for the children - I can certainly tell him after the fact (moving (no mobility clause), school choices, medical or health decisions), but I do not need his consent to make a life for myself and my children.

        Perhaps it's different for others when sole custody has been decided, but unless you have something that requires her to get your consent, then why would you go out of your way to make things more difficult for your ex and in turn, your children?

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Kimberley View Post
          Do you have some sort of fear that she will not return? Even though she obviously has numerous times already. Is it because she is seeing another man? You can't stop her from moving on with her life.
          I honestly fail to see the issue unless you had some sort of order in place that required this parental consent. Also, it will depend on the custody order you have in place - if she has sole custody (and this was stated by the judge in the courtroom to myself and my ex when completing the final order) that sole custody implies that the NCP (my ex) no longer has the right to be involved in decisions regarding the choices made by me for the children - I can certainly tell him after the fact (moving (no mobility clause), school choices, medical or health decisions), but I do not need his consent to make a life for myself and my children.

          Perhaps it's different for others when sole custody has been decided, but unless you have something that requires her to get your consent, then why would you go out of your way to make things more difficult for your ex and in turn, your children?
          i totally agree with the previous posters. It is only day trips not a week long thing or something. She has proven that she brings the kids back. Why make an issue out of something so minor?? Pick your battles wisely and IMHO this is not a battle worth fighting.

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          • #6
            I have travelled across the boarder without my ex's consent.

            I have sole custody and it is also stipulated that I can travel outside the country without the other parents consent in my custody documents. I just show my custody agreement at the boarder on exit and entrance.

            mominont

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            • #7
              Yes, why is this an issue with you?

              Comment


              • #8
                Unless and until she is spending a week there or interfering with your access schedule then only you should be worried.
                Like in my case i wanted to visit my family and he refused to give consent.So it delayed my trip by 8 months and it costed me 2000 dollars .But now I have a order where I don't need his consent

                Comment


                • #9
                  If she has custody, there isn't much you can do as she doesn't really need your permission; you would need hers if you wanted to cross the border.

                  I believe you can put the border on alert. But if you get this on file with them, they may not just watch for her, they most likely will check anyone who takes your kids across (including you).

                  It may come back to bite you in the butt one day!

                  Unless you have a reason (fear she is not going to bring them back), then you're just causing trouble & wasting police & customs time for no reason. She should tell you she's going away just so you're aware & as a courtesy, but depending on circumstances of your agreement, she may not have to. Depends on your agreement.

                  If she is taking the kids somewhere fun, is your goal to prevent that? Or is your goal simply to give her & everyone else, a hassle - just to prove a point?

                  & I promise you.. the border can give people who cross with children of divorce, one hell of a hassle.. often for no reason.. even for those who have all the proper paperwork & permission forms in order.. My advice is to think twice before you go down this road... unless you have really good reason, to stop her.

                  Just my opinion.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Kimberley View Post
                    Do you have some sort of fear that she will not return? Even though she obviously has numerous times already. Is it because she is seeing another man? You can't stop her from moving on with her life.
                    I honestly fail to see the issue unless you had some sort of order in place that required this parental consent. Also, it will depend on the custody order you have in place - if she has sole custody (and this was stated by the judge in the courtroom to myself and my ex when completing the final order) that sole custody implies that the NCP (my ex) no longer has the right to be involved in decisions regarding the choices made by me for the children - I can certainly tell him after the fact (moving (no mobility clause), school choices, medical or health decisions), but I do not need his consent to make a life for myself and my children.

                    Perhaps it's different for others when sole custody has been decided, but unless you have something that requires her to get your consent, then why would you go out of your way to make things more difficult for your ex and in turn, your children?
                    Kimberly,

                    I have the same type of divorce papers; no limit on travel and no relocation clause...can we really move within mobility rights having that type of judgment and sole custody. I am often threatened and bullied when I bring up wanting to move.

                    If the trips taken are only day trips why are you upset? Maybe approach your ex in a friendly way and tell her that it is fine with you, but you would prefer to know about the trips as they happen?

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by understandingmom
                      Kimberly,

                      I have the same type of divorce papers; no limit on travel and no relocation clause...can we really move within mobility rights having that type of judgment and sole custody. I am often threatened and bullied when I bring up wanting to move.
                      I think each situation is quite different to be honest, so there really isn't one blanket statement that would work for all situations.
                      In my case, prior to getting just the interim order of my ex seeing the kids every 2nd Sunday, he rarely made an attempt to visit with them at all. It's all he would even accept and did not even consider birthdays, holidays, summer vacation etc in there at all.
                      The judge stated to his lawyer 'he hasn't been bothering with the children prior to this order, so I fail to see him even trying with the order'. Surprisingly up till the present, he has been sticking with the visits, but that could very well change.
                      Also, the children and I have not moved in all this time, and he has - minutes away, to 30 minutes away, to an hour away, and as of the last update with little to no information of an address, exactly when, or exactly where (other than near his parents) he is now moving 90+ minutes away.
                      He is not involved in their lives otherwise. I even signed a form with consent for him to get information from their schools about how they are doing, report cards and the like, but the onus is on him to present this to the school - he has not done as such as the school principal ensures that I am aware of anything.

                      So that being said, it will depend on the visitation he has, the distance of the move, if that will make it more difficult for him to see his child(ren), if it will add additional travel costs for visitation, and the reason for the move.

                      You have to factor in all those items first and foremost, but under all that... don't let threats stop you from making a life for yourself and your child(ren) as long as you are being reasonable about it and not taking away his access to the child(ren).

                      Comment

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