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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #1  
Old 04-12-2015, 01:27 PM
Baffled_Dad Baffled_Dad is offline
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I want to make an offer to my ex who I've been paying SS for the last 5 years in ending the SS all together. I have at least 2 more to 3 years to pay at this point. Regarding my offer, if she accepts it and signs off, can she somehow try to come back for SS in the future? I'm obviously going to have this done thru my lawyer.
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Old 04-12-2015, 03:04 PM
standing on the sidelines standing on the sidelines is offline
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are you thinking of offering her a lump sum payment?
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Old 04-12-2015, 04:24 PM
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You could put something in the offer saying that by accepting the offer ex agrees that she relinquishes all future claims on your earnings (other people probably have suggestions for how to word this better). However, as I understand it there's always the possibility that ex could claim she was misinformed or uninformed about something crucial before she agreed to the offer, or that her circumstances have changed in a way which could not have been foreseen at the time the offer was made, and can try to re-open it. So I think you can write something up which is 99% safe against being re-opened, but nothing is 100%.

Also bear in mind that SS is tax-deductible for you, while a lump-sum payment is not.
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Old 04-12-2015, 06:02 PM
Baffled_Dad Baffled_Dad is offline
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Yes it's a lump payment. This is what worries me that 1% chance. Let's say I wait until a judge finally says no more support and I'm finally off the hook. Three years later circumstances change and all of a sudden she decides to come back and try and reopen the case? Where does it end. No male or in some cases a female who are the higher income earners should be held liable when a decision is made to end SS legally. All I'm trying to do is just move on with my life. She works and makes a good living wage at half my income. Where would she be without me as she is now? She would be doing quite fine. I don't pay a huge amount although it would be nice one day having my full pay check back.
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Old 04-12-2015, 10:08 PM
Serene Serene is offline
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And you could pay for 3 more years and then stop and then she'd come back for more anyhow...

Go for it is what I say!
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Old 04-13-2015, 12:11 AM
Links17 Links17 is offline
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Well if you make an agreement yuo need to write it well to say that in no circumstances (sickess, health, loss of employment etc....) will any more support be due. The issue is that if there is an "unforseen change of circumstances" the agreement can be re-opened.
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Old 04-13-2015, 10:37 PM
Baffled_Dad Baffled_Dad is offline
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Se this is where I find this so u fair to the paying spouse. This is not is life time thing here. Unforeseen circumstances?? Really??? Where did this end? I'm remarried and let's say I better my career from my current earning and make an extra 50K a year and all if a sudden she can try and reopen the support order and be entitled to my new found income? My new wife isn't entitled to my earnings either? There has to be something written legally where it protects the paying spouse from having to ever deal with this possible scenario. I've never heard of anyone I know that has had this happen to them. When it's over, it's over as it should be. My ex has a decent wage and has no mortgage. She is doing quite well.
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Old 04-13-2015, 11:15 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Baffled_Dad View Post
Se this is where I find this so u fair to the paying spouse. This is not is life time thing here. Unforeseen circumstances?? Really??? Where did this end? I'm remarried and let's say I better my career from my current earning and make an extra 50K a year and all if a sudden she can try and reopen the support order and be entitled to my new found income? My new wife isn't entitled to my earnings either? There has to be something written legally where it protects the paying spouse from having to ever deal with this possible scenario. I've never heard of anyone I know that has had this happen to them. When it's over, it's over as it should be. My ex has a decent wage and has no mortgage. She is doing quite well.
She becomes disabled and can't pay for herself then they give you the bill. But if you word your agreement well you are protected as much as possible anyways.
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Old 04-14-2015, 10:40 AM
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Rioe Rioe is offline
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You want a spousal support release clause, from the sounds of it.

I don't know how ironclad it actually is, but here's mine as an example.

Quote:
1) There shall be no spousal support paid or payable to or from either X or R.

2) X and R are financially independent of each other and release his or her rights to spousal support from the other, now and forever.

3) X and R intend this Agreement to be forever final and non-variable except where expressly stated otherwise.

4) for greater certainty, the parties acknowledge that:
a) they have negotiated this Agreement in an unimpeachable fashion and that the terms of this Agreement fully represent their intentions and expectations;
b) they have had independent legal advice and all the disclosure they have requested and require to understand the nature and consequences of this Agreement, and to come to the conclusion, as they do, that the terms of this Agreement, including the release of all spousal support rights, reflects an equitable sharing of the economic consequences of their relationship and its breakdown;
c) the terms of this Agreement substantially comply with the overall objectives of the Divorce Act now and in the future;
d) they require the courts to respect their autonomy to achieve certainty and finality in their lives;
e) the terms of this Agreement and, in particular, this release of spousal support reflect his and her own particular objectives and concerns, and are intended to be a final and certain settling of all spousal support issues between them; and,
f) among other considerations, they are also relying on this spousal release, in particular, upon which to base their future lives.

5) X and R specifically wish to be able to pursue their separate and independent lives, no matter what changes may occur. X and R specifically anticipate that one or both of them may lose their jobs, become ill and unable to work, have additional child care responsibilities that will interfere with their ability to work, find their financial resources diminished or exhausted whether through their own fault or not, or be affected by general economic and family conditions changing over time. Changes in their circumstances may be catastrophic, unanticipated or beyond their imagination. Nevertheless, no change, no matter how extreme or consequential for either or both of them, will alter this agreement and their views that the terms of this Agreement reflect their intention to always be separate financially. X and R fully accept that no change whatsoever in either or both of their circumstances will entitle either of them to spousal support from the other, now and forever.

6) In short, the parties expect the courts to enforce fully this spousal support release no matter what occurs in the future.
The hard part is convincing her to sign something like this. You may have to agree to keep paying SS for three more years first before it kicks in.
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Old 04-14-2015, 12:09 PM
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Janibel Janibel is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rioe View Post

The hard part is convincing her to sign something like this. You may have to agree to keep paying SS for three more years first before it kicks in.
My settlement was very similar to Rioe's - the clincher was that Ex offered me a lump-sum in lieu of ongoing SS. If you want her to accept a deal where SS is permanently abolished, you have to sweeten the deal somehow. It could be a lump-sum offer, or equity in the mat. home or some other asset.

*** the idea is to go for clean break.

Last edited by Janibel; 04-14-2015 at 12:11 PM.
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