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rockscan · #21 04-30-2015, 01:39 PM

Im not sure what school you work at but this one refuses to help. He called the school in the fall (and later when the busy period was over). Was told they cant provide the info without a court order to so. He even knows several educators at the school and tried that way. No dice. Kid says they arent involved and he has to talk to mom. You get to a point where you give up trying. Which where hes at. You and I disagree and thats fine. I appreciate the input.

Reality · #22 04-30-2015, 01:59 PM

OK I don't want to cause him more grief but it is important to know that if his kid is in post secondary education (College or University) and over 18 years old. Mom has no ability to see or even ask the school about anything...nor does Dad. The school will only provide information to kid (who is considered an adult - privacy act)All Post secondary is very dedicated to this privacy so parents can't call up and get kids grades to prove kid is lying to parents.

For example. Dad wants transcript report of first year grades. The only person that can access that information and authorize it is the kid. Example..Dad wants print out of the financial account. Only person that can access and print that information is the kid.

For example dad wants tuition receipt. The only person that can receive the receipt is the kid. The receipt for tuition payment (even if Dad or mom pays ) will come with kids name on it..not moms..not dads..not osaps..only the kid.

The kid has to be involved for all of this (even if it being passed to mom and then passed to dad) If kid is saying he must talk to mom then mom has directed this and kid is complying. Kid doesn't have to comply but it choosing to. Can he give the kid the money directly and say "this is for my portion of tuition" after he looks up the cost. Write check in kids name and throw in snail mail or hand directly if he still sees kid. Even if mom won't allow kid to cash it...kid still knows it was offered?

Serene · #23 04-30-2015, 01:59 PM

And if mom really wants to be paid she'll furnish receipts. It's really quite simple.

The rules of engagement are there for everyone. It's standard practice to agree on costs before they are spent. And to substantiate expenses incurred.

This problem is easily solved. My thinking is if mom solves the issue by virtue of providing receipts *she clearly does have* it eliminates an avenue to pester dad.

The kid can step up to the plate in this matter and hasn't. Nuff said.

Serene · #24 04-30-2015, 02:01 PM

...but the father legally owes the money to the mother. The child was not a party to the court order or sep agreement

Reality · #25 04-30-2015, 02:10 PM

I hear what you are saying Serene. If they want to go to court yes father legally owes the mother but paid the kid directly for kid S.7 Post secondary. This is easily proved in court with a print out of check and account it came out of. Mom would be going to court for a lie that he didn't pay when he did and easily proved. I doubt court would come into play.

Now if FRO or MEP are involved already (which I don't think they are in this case) it can become very ugly. However he could easily not consent to the expense because already paid and as soon as no consent FRO won't enforce.

I was trying to come up with something so kid doesn't think Dad is deadbeat when he is not trying to be. A different approach then the mom won't give me the receipt so I am not paying...who know what mom tells kid. If kids get the money direct mom will have a hard time saying he won't pay.

Reality · #26 04-30-2015, 02:12 PM

Courts sometimes order payers to pay direct to kid once they are in post-secondary. Less interaction between battling ex's the better for kid!

rockscan · #27 04-30-2015, 02:14 PM

Also, he asked kid if he could send her money. She said no she would send anything to mom. Plus he sent stuff to her at the school as per moms direction to just send it to the college and it sat in the porters office for two months.

It all goes back to a willingness to cooperate.

rockscan · #28 04-30-2015, 02:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Reality

Courts sometimes order payers to pay direct to kid once they are in post-secondary. Less interaction between battling ex's the better for kid!

Oh man, if only!!! Again though, the only time kids gets involved is when it means they can call up dad to yell at him for asking questions.

Trust me when I say he has attempted every avenue to solve this.

rockscan · #29 04-30-2015, 02:18 PM

And FRO is involved for CS. They wont touch post secondary because of vagueness of order. S7 is an issue because mom doesnt submit properly.

Reality · #30 04-30-2015, 02:21 PM

Quote:

Also, he asked kid if he could send her money. She said no she would send anything to mom.

Great you send to kid, kid sends to mom or spends it on beer and wings and never tells mom. You have paid your portion, you have record of the check that clearly stated for tuition. Kid knows you are not deadbeat. Mom can continue to whine you show her the proof you paid.

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