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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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  #1  
Old 06-06-2018, 02:30 PM
Rogue13 Rogue13 is offline
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Good morning all,

Things have been fairly quiet for the past few years, theres certainly been some difficulties but nothing worth going back to court for.

Our court order states all communication is to be by email, however all of a sudden she doesnt want to talk on email.

I am trying to increase my access with our son, in line with the reccommendations from a parenting assessment. Ive sent a few emails in which she ignored the question, she finally responded that 'we need to have a discussion first' and then went right back to ignoring all my requests to have that discussion.

Frustrating!

I like having things written down because its easy to see who said what and what was agreed to without any of this 'he said, she said' stuff that Im sure sooo many of us are familiar with. The fact that she doesnt want her words written down tells me volumes already.

Has anyone had experience with their coparent where they refused to respond to emails even though its written directly in a court order?
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  #2  
Old 06-06-2018, 02:37 PM
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arabian arabian is offline
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Are you communicating with her or is your new significant other communicating with her on your behalf?

We had someone post here the other day who was having difficulty communicating with ex because of blatant interference from ex's new spouse. This can be quite off-putting to say the least.
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Old 06-06-2018, 02:39 PM
Rogue13 Rogue13 is offline
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Im doing all my own communicating since Im still single lol
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Old 06-06-2018, 02:48 PM
dad2bandm dad2bandm is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rogue13 View Post
... Ive sent a few emails in which she ignored the question, she finally responded that 'we need to have a discussion first' and then went right back to ignoring all my requests to have that discussion...

Your emailing her about it, is the discussion. She's just avoiding having the discussion.



If she continues to ignore emails, you could send a written letter about the subject too, via registered mail, to cover your bases, to point her back to your emails that you're waiting for a reply on, but it sounds like she's just going to ignore this, and you may have to force go-forward movement via other means.



Are the parenting assessment folks still involved, or are they out of it now, now that they've provided the assessment?
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Old 06-06-2018, 02:50 PM
dad2bandm dad2bandm is offline
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By the way, yes, same issue with ex in my situation - ignores emails, and does as much as she can (when she can control herself), to avoid communications that can be documented.
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Old 06-06-2018, 03:01 PM
Rogue13 Rogue13 is offline
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Thanks Dad2bandm,

Im trying not to read into it too much but its concerning,

The parenting assessment folks are out of it, although its very clear that they recommend an equitable sharing schedule due to her hostilities etc. Its all in the report.

I dont want to think about it, but I may have to go back to court to get this actually enforced and I just dont have it in me to go back. Can you provide any insight to what a judge would think of this?
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Old 06-06-2018, 03:14 PM
dad2bandm dad2bandm is offline
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Was the parenting assessment something that came out of your last order, or something separate? You would think that would be done, and then your order be finalized partially based on those findings?


When was that completed? When was your order made?



I think if the parenting assessment showed that you should be given more time, and viewed you favorably and it spoke to it being in the child's best interests, and that you could show you've been trying to discuss this, or try to implement something in accordance with the findings of that assessment, and you could show the other parent was ignoring it, and basically avoiding it for a longer period of time, you would probably have a good chance of getting something more to your liking in court.


(sorry, for the non-committal, run-on-sentence)


It would be up to the other parent, to show why they think your plan, and the parental assessment, are both wrong, but that they are right.


You never know with court though.
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Old 06-07-2018, 11:05 AM
Rogue13 Rogue13 is offline
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We did the assessment prior to getting our last parenting order.

They agreed with increased access to an 'equitable' amount, however due to childs age at the time they wanted to graduate into the expanded schedule as opposed to make it effective immediately.

Assessment was completed in 2015 and order was finalized the same year.

Thats my problem - you never know with court. As with all things in family court, the win is in avoiding it entirely. I sincerely do not want to go back, because what should be a simple matter of upholding the psychologists assessment can snowball rapidly into a host of other "issues", delays and spiraling costs.....
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Old 06-07-2018, 11:10 AM
dad2bandm dad2bandm is offline
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They didn't put in some timeline or deadlines for the expanded access to be implemented? I would have insisted on that being in the order, instead of leaving it open-ended.


If Mom isn't willing to start looking at this, being that it's 4 years later, then I guess you need to go to court, and the reason would be, that you're trying to implement increased access, based on the last order's recommendations, and that attempts to work this out with Mom, have failed. Keep trying to push her in the meantime, with some reasonable plans/increases, and then you can show you've been working towards this.



I would incorporate them into settlement offers, as you really shouldn't have to go to court for this, and if you do have to, I would seek court costs for having to do so.
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Old 06-07-2018, 11:13 AM
dad2bandm dad2bandm is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rogue13 View Post
...As with all things in family court, the win is in avoiding it entirely. I sincerely do not want to go back, because what should be a simple matter of upholding the psychologists assessment can snowball rapidly into a host of other "issues", delays and spiraling costs.....

This is true, and it's best to avoid, but sometimes court is necessary. Are you able to settle with things staying the same? If no, then you may need it, as it's been 4 years, and you don't seem to have an ex who wants to work it out. When is she going to "discuss" this with you? Next year? 3 years from now?
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