In February of 2008, my ex and I separated. We were engaged to be married but it didnt get that far.
After we separated we talked about getting back together. I always allowed him to see our son whenever he wanted. I had asked him a couple of times for money for things our son needed only when I was short on money and never asked for anything more. I also gave him the option to just buy the items himself if he felt better about that.
I was served court papers from him shortly after and couldn't believe the things he was saying in the papers. I explained to him that he was asking for a big fight and that all I wanted to do was to keep peace and live the best life separate and get along for our son. He was angry and persude the court proceedings.
I got a lawyer and to make a long story short, he asked for 50/50 access and the that he paid no support. It ended up I got custody of our son and he was ordered to pay 1,387 a month which included child care and $200 of that was spousal support that my lawyer asked for.
He was very angry and didn't see our son for a few visits but eventually came around. I have always felt guilty about the break up because of my son and not being able to see his Dad whenever we wanted, he loves his Dad and the fighting got so bad that during the "temporary" order I just asked him what he wanted and came up with this offer to him, that our son would be on his benefits, that he paid support accordint to the guidelines and he wanted to use his previous income (he makes way more now) and that when he works our son will be in my care and when I work he can be in his care and we agreed that if we are both working that a babysitter would be hired that we both agree on and that our son would be cared for at my home so he was able to sleep and get up to go to daycare (during the day because I don't get home until 8pm)
Our son goes to a regular daycare during the day and both of us work into the evening, sometimes he is gone away for his job as well and I always let him see our son whenever he wants to but the visits got fewer and far between. He never put our son on his benefits until just last March and he refuses to pay child care stating that our son is in school now, but the agreement was if we were both working and my parents weren't available to pick our son up that he would need someone to pick him up from school and care for him in my home until I got home from work. That never happened. He also lied about his income and refuses to show me his notices of assessment.
We fight constantly, he baptized out son without my knowledge or consent, I found out through photographs and he caused a big scene about what school he would go to. It has been a nightmare dealing with him, he now pays $505 when according to his income he would have to pay close to $1000. I have taken time off of work because he will say he will take him while I work and then not show up. I have begged him to just get a long for our son's sake. I don't know why he is still so angry with me after all of this time.
There have been times where we have gotten along but and he will see our son a few times a week but then without any signs or warning he changes and then doesn't speak to me or our son for a long time. On more than one occassion he has called the childrens aid on me and for things like, he once was supposed to watch our son so that he could be with himon the weekend and family day so I changed my schedule so I could work the weekend and the holiday instead of through the week and we were on speaking terms at the time, then when he dropped our son off the previous weekend I said "so, you are still watching our son" and he ignored me and walked outside and to his truck, I went outside and I asked him to answer me and he got into his truck and I called himan idiot because I was panicking about what to do about work.
I think I should take him back to court just to settle this once and for all but I am worried he wil take it out on our son and not see him. I really just wish he would realize it is better and easier for everyone if we can just get along, I don't interfere with him when he sees our son or any phone conversations either. I don't understand why he wants it to be so negative. I feel the worst for our son as he likes visiting his Dad and now his dad says he is just going back to every other weekend. Our son called him twice last week after his surgery, and he never called him back. His Dad even left the hospital while he was in surgery and was supposed to watch him during the break between school and camp and never did. I probably didn't explain this right,but there is so much information. In the last few years I have not documented anything, here and there on calendars but that's it. I also can't afford a lawyer so I have to represent myself which I did before so that's not a big deal to me, just knowing what paperwork to fill out and when. Does anyone have any advice for me?
After we separated we talked about getting back together. I always allowed him to see our son whenever he wanted. I had asked him a couple of times for money for things our son needed only when I was short on money and never asked for anything more. I also gave him the option to just buy the items himself if he felt better about that.
I was served court papers from him shortly after and couldn't believe the things he was saying in the papers. I explained to him that he was asking for a big fight and that all I wanted to do was to keep peace and live the best life separate and get along for our son. He was angry and persude the court proceedings.
I got a lawyer and to make a long story short, he asked for 50/50 access and the that he paid no support. It ended up I got custody of our son and he was ordered to pay 1,387 a month which included child care and $200 of that was spousal support that my lawyer asked for.
He was very angry and didn't see our son for a few visits but eventually came around. I have always felt guilty about the break up because of my son and not being able to see his Dad whenever we wanted, he loves his Dad and the fighting got so bad that during the "temporary" order I just asked him what he wanted and came up with this offer to him, that our son would be on his benefits, that he paid support accordint to the guidelines and he wanted to use his previous income (he makes way more now) and that when he works our son will be in my care and when I work he can be in his care and we agreed that if we are both working that a babysitter would be hired that we both agree on and that our son would be cared for at my home so he was able to sleep and get up to go to daycare (during the day because I don't get home until 8pm)
Our son goes to a regular daycare during the day and both of us work into the evening, sometimes he is gone away for his job as well and I always let him see our son whenever he wants to but the visits got fewer and far between. He never put our son on his benefits until just last March and he refuses to pay child care stating that our son is in school now, but the agreement was if we were both working and my parents weren't available to pick our son up that he would need someone to pick him up from school and care for him in my home until I got home from work. That never happened. He also lied about his income and refuses to show me his notices of assessment.
We fight constantly, he baptized out son without my knowledge or consent, I found out through photographs and he caused a big scene about what school he would go to. It has been a nightmare dealing with him, he now pays $505 when according to his income he would have to pay close to $1000. I have taken time off of work because he will say he will take him while I work and then not show up. I have begged him to just get a long for our son's sake. I don't know why he is still so angry with me after all of this time.
There have been times where we have gotten along but and he will see our son a few times a week but then without any signs or warning he changes and then doesn't speak to me or our son for a long time. On more than one occassion he has called the childrens aid on me and for things like, he once was supposed to watch our son so that he could be with himon the weekend and family day so I changed my schedule so I could work the weekend and the holiday instead of through the week and we were on speaking terms at the time, then when he dropped our son off the previous weekend I said "so, you are still watching our son" and he ignored me and walked outside and to his truck, I went outside and I asked him to answer me and he got into his truck and I called himan idiot because I was panicking about what to do about work.
I think I should take him back to court just to settle this once and for all but I am worried he wil take it out on our son and not see him. I really just wish he would realize it is better and easier for everyone if we can just get along, I don't interfere with him when he sees our son or any phone conversations either. I don't understand why he wants it to be so negative. I feel the worst for our son as he likes visiting his Dad and now his dad says he is just going back to every other weekend. Our son called him twice last week after his surgery, and he never called him back. His Dad even left the hospital while he was in surgery and was supposed to watch him during the break between school and camp and never did. I probably didn't explain this right,but there is so much information. In the last few years I have not documented anything, here and there on calendars but that's it. I also can't afford a lawyer so I have to represent myself which I did before so that's not a big deal to me, just knowing what paperwork to fill out and when. Does anyone have any advice for me?
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