This forum has been very helpful and informative over the past 10 months. Please advise on my situation:
My common-law husb and I separated in June 2010. He moved into a house with new girlfriend in a small town 65 km away from us.
We have 2 kids - one is 16 the other 8. I have stayed in the house we were in, the kids have gone to the same schools, etc.
Since about Oct, ex has taken the 8 yr old every second weekend. the 16 yr old chooses to stay with me most weekends so he can hang out with his friends. Ex is ok with that.
I asked my lawyer to do up a sep agreement. It says that I will have daily care and control of the kids and ex will have reasonable and generous access.
Ex doesn't want to sign this agreement. He thinks that signing it will lower his chances to have 8 yr old live with him primarily in the future. He wants instead to have a general statement such as: "'we will agree between ourselves where the 8 yr old will live. Whoever has the kid(s) most of the time will be paid Child support according to the guidelines. We can change the agreement at anytime if we both agree and it is in the best interest of the kid(s)."
This statement is too vague for my comfort. I told him I want it to say that at least for the coming school year (sept 2011 to June 2012), the 8yrold stays with me M-F to keep him at the same school for the duration of the school year.
Ex will get his own place this summer (after the financial settlement is done) and will try to move closer to Edmonton but refuses to live in town. He has said several times that he won't put his sons' needs before his own.
He says that once he gets a place (in the country) and arrangements so our son doesn't have to spend too many hours alone every day (ex works 10 hr days), he wants him to live there primarily. He wants this to start as early as this Christmas. Our son would have to change school, neighbourhood, he would see extended family and his brother less. Now his brother is home every day when he gets home, I'm home soon after (I work Part time), Grandma is 10 mins drive away, there are neighbours and extended family in Edm who are involved.
Ex thinks that moving the kid to a new school in the middle of the year (or any other time) is no big deal. I say it is.
I don't think he has a chance of moving our son in with him now. The change has to be good for our son. I don't have a problem with ex's parenting; I just don't think the kid needs any more changes now. I think when our son is older he can have a say re where he lives.
I think Ex could put aside his own need to live out of town for a few years and move into Edmonton where we could live close to each other. that would be best for both kids.
From what I read on this forum, it would be better for him agree to 50-50 (approx). That
way it will be easier for him to get primary residence later on - when it's good for the kid.
He has to move from the house he's in within 2 months, and he needs the financial settlement done first so he's feeling pressured to get this agreement done.
He hasn't talked to a lawyer yet. do you think that when he does, the lawyer will let him know he's unlikely to get primary residence now?
Thanks.
My common-law husb and I separated in June 2010. He moved into a house with new girlfriend in a small town 65 km away from us.
We have 2 kids - one is 16 the other 8. I have stayed in the house we were in, the kids have gone to the same schools, etc.
Since about Oct, ex has taken the 8 yr old every second weekend. the 16 yr old chooses to stay with me most weekends so he can hang out with his friends. Ex is ok with that.
I asked my lawyer to do up a sep agreement. It says that I will have daily care and control of the kids and ex will have reasonable and generous access.
Ex doesn't want to sign this agreement. He thinks that signing it will lower his chances to have 8 yr old live with him primarily in the future. He wants instead to have a general statement such as: "'we will agree between ourselves where the 8 yr old will live. Whoever has the kid(s) most of the time will be paid Child support according to the guidelines. We can change the agreement at anytime if we both agree and it is in the best interest of the kid(s)."
This statement is too vague for my comfort. I told him I want it to say that at least for the coming school year (sept 2011 to June 2012), the 8yrold stays with me M-F to keep him at the same school for the duration of the school year.
Ex will get his own place this summer (after the financial settlement is done) and will try to move closer to Edmonton but refuses to live in town. He has said several times that he won't put his sons' needs before his own.
He says that once he gets a place (in the country) and arrangements so our son doesn't have to spend too many hours alone every day (ex works 10 hr days), he wants him to live there primarily. He wants this to start as early as this Christmas. Our son would have to change school, neighbourhood, he would see extended family and his brother less. Now his brother is home every day when he gets home, I'm home soon after (I work Part time), Grandma is 10 mins drive away, there are neighbours and extended family in Edm who are involved.
Ex thinks that moving the kid to a new school in the middle of the year (or any other time) is no big deal. I say it is.
I don't think he has a chance of moving our son in with him now. The change has to be good for our son. I don't have a problem with ex's parenting; I just don't think the kid needs any more changes now. I think when our son is older he can have a say re where he lives.
I think Ex could put aside his own need to live out of town for a few years and move into Edmonton where we could live close to each other. that would be best for both kids.
From what I read on this forum, it would be better for him agree to 50-50 (approx). That
way it will be easier for him to get primary residence later on - when it's good for the kid.
He has to move from the house he's in within 2 months, and he needs the financial settlement done first so he's feeling pressured to get this agreement done.
He hasn't talked to a lawyer yet. do you think that when he does, the lawyer will let him know he's unlikely to get primary residence now?
Thanks.
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