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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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  #31  
Old 12-19-2018, 02:06 PM
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Tayken Tayken is offline
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Originally Posted by rockscan View Post
I ended up not getting the transcripts as they were five hours long and would have cost about $2000.

Im bumping this because its been almost two months and my fiancť has yet to receive either an order or the items the judge ordered the ex to provide. She was also ordered to pay costs by January 3. He has asked his lawyerís office if they have anything and has not received an answer. He was going to wait to follow up when it came time for the costs payment.

Do you normally get an order following a motion like this? How long does it take? How will her refusal to comply in the 30days impact the settlement conference?
I would have assumed the judge gave the order orally and possibly a handwritten order. Most judges do this. The official type up can take a while but, a handwritten order is just as good. Pazaratz types them up right in the courtroom and prints and signs them. But, he is an unusually excellent justice.

I doubt the other party in your matter will make any further action on the matter now that they have to pay costs. A lot of times the losing party will abandon their file and take no further action. So it falls on you to see enforcement of the order. If you press the issue they will likely want to settle out of court as going back will only net them more costs orders.

The next step if there is no action is to schedule a conference. But, depending on how things are set now you may not want to take any further action either as you may have the upper hand in not having to do anything but wait.

Costs orders that are not paid work in your favour. Orders not followed also work in your favour. If you don't need anything from the other party why push? It just adds unnecessary anxiety and cost. The other party may simply disappear.
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  #32  
Old 12-19-2018, 02:35 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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Thanks Tayken. In the confirmation sent by his lawyer, it said he would have a draft order with him. The order from the judge was in his favour so it should have been signed. Could be that the lawyer wants to save us money by waiting until he has all the paperwork and the costs payment.

We expected her to either comply with some verbal bs or send an updated offer to settle. They have a settlement conference scheduled for June which will address the previous section 7 and outstanding cs he owes because of her refusal to update and how section 7 and cs will work for the other kid who is expected to go to school next fall. Although there was talk that kid 2 wasnít interested in further schooling but kid 1 wants an additional degree. Her costs order is less than what he owes and what he will have to pay for kid 2. She flat out said she will be motioning for all of it and the judge clapped back that she wasnít entitled to anything she would be asking for.

Shes notorious for not meeting deadlines, I thought since she was so fully smacked by the judge that she would be on better behaviour. Guess we will wait and see.
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  #33  
Old 03-01-2019, 09:52 AM
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Default Here we are

Im feeling down today and figured an update was in order...

The ex complied with the costs part of the motion but the judge told her verbally to provide the school info. She didnít. After several weeks of back and forth with the lawyer, my man found out that they have to go back to get clarification from the judge to turn the endorsement into an order to have her found in contempt since they need the school info for their settlement conference in June. (His lawyers assistants are completely useless which compounded the problem).

My man was also called for jury duty and he is really frustrated as he canít take time off and he loses pay. Heís worried about how it will impact his job and income. They canít fire him but they can replace him and then realize he wasnít needed (fire him) which is stressing him out.

Iím trying to deal with getting his divorce certificate so we can get a marriage license. Thank god we arenít doing a wedding which would be impacted by timelines. Living several hours away from the courthouse is difficult. I have to send a family member and the waits are hours long.

Finally, I was diagnosed with a treatable form of cancer but it has also placed a huge weight on us. He doesnít handle stress well and today I feel like Im holding everything together because if I donít, we will collapse. I do see a therapist and they are helping me cope but some days are easier than others. Iím trying not to worry and waiting on our disastrous health care system is quite annoying. I would like to know Iím cancer free and can get on with my life.

This morning he told me that heís been upset because this legal issue will just distance the kids further and reconciliation will be unattainable. I told him his kids need to get over themselves and there is nothing he can do if they choose to hate him for expecting their mother to comply. I will be brutally honest and say that I have zero interest in dealing with his kids. Aside from their attitude toward him, they are really spoiled jerks. My diagnosis has made me look at all the shit Iíve been through and since Iím not bemoaning my struggles, its really hard to listen to their ďyou are mean for not paying for me to fuck the dog at school and spend summers at the beachĒ.

Thereís my vent. Iím going to go sit and try to enjoy the sun even though I know itís still winter and stupid cold.

#firstworldproblems
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  #34  
Old 03-01-2019, 01:21 PM
iona6656 iona6656 is online now
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This just sucks- I'm sorry. But I wouldn't downplay these issues as first world problems...sometimes I want to do the same thing with my problems because - even though all this shit is going down in my life- I still feel like I have a lot of privilege that others don't...so somehow my problems don't seem as worthy? But that's just dumb. Everything is relative.

I'm sorry about the health matters. Are you waiting on test results or appointments?

As to your husbands kids- that just sucks. I can tell that he's fought so hard for them. And saying they'll come around is probably just platitudes...but hopefully something will trigger something in them- the further they are away from their mother.

Last edited by iona6656; 03-01-2019 at 01:31 PM.
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  #35  
Old 03-01-2019, 01:54 PM
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Im waiting on more info from the pathologist which may require further surgery and on an appointment with another specialist who will do a body scan to check for any other impacts and to determine what further treatment/long-term care will be required.

At least the lawyer was helpful this morning and my man was told he is no longer needed for jury duty.

For some reason this week I just feel like everything is being juggled and Iím exhausted.

Thanks for the pep talk
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  #36  
Old 03-01-2019, 01:57 PM
iona6656 iona6656 is online now
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...because you ARE exhausted. ?

I hope you guys get a chance to do something restful this weekend.
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  #37  
Old 03-01-2019, 02:17 PM
PeacefulMoments PeacefulMoments is offline
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Hugs, hope you can find some rest today. Iím recently having health issues myself compounding other issues so I get how it just makes everything else more stressful. Try not thinking too far ahead and focus on feeling better today. Iím wishing good things for you.
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  #38  
Old 03-01-2019, 03:21 PM
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Best wishes Rockscan. Yeah healthcare in ON is antiquated. Like wine that is sold, people in the province don't understand what the problem is cause they simply haven't experienced much selection. Keep on top of your medical stuff... too many union people and not enough doctors I think. Record management is scary.... I'd phone to make sure things get sent (referrals/test results/appointment notifications) and assume things will, indeed, get lost. Sorry to add to your stress.

Hopefully things will improve in near future. Soon Spring will be here and perhaps you and your man can dive into a home/yard project. Keeping busy with fun things helps.
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  #39  
Old 03-04-2019, 04:05 PM
kate331 kate331 is offline
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WOW Rockscan, your in my thoughts and prayers. Take care of yourself, your health is a top priority. I too recently had a health scare (with my son), and it totally changed my perceptive. I simply am grateful he is alive and will recover, and I dont give a shit anymore what happens in the hell hole called Family Law.

I remember being in my early 20's and didnt give a shit about anything but myself, I feel sorry now for my parents (who were divorced amicably). Now that I am a Mother and in my 30's, family is everything to me, and I hope one day his children realize it. It just may take some time.

In the meantime, I wish you good days and lots of sunshine even though its still stupid cold outside. And I hope your man realizes what a gift you are to him and puts his focus on your well being and puts the past with his bitch of an ex and children behind him. I know easier said than done. But sometimes these life changing medical issues can do that.

I also would like to take this opportunity to thank you personally for all the help you have been to the members here, and particularly to me. Your no bull-shit approach has provided much advice, insight and thought, and I truly am appreciative.

On a lighter note, are his children bridesmaid at your wedding??? Sorry couldn't resist :
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  #40  
Old 04-16-2019, 05:25 PM
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I need a ďwhat would you doĒ check on something.

Email to my man about plans for kid 2. Very passive aggressive/my hands are clean approach. Boils down to ďwhere have you been? We have a kid heading to school in the fall!Ē

My question to the minds here is: worth a response other than ďthank you for the informationĒ? They have a sc in a couple of months...
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