What Constitutes Abduction / Kidnapping Charges In Canada?

[standing on the sidelines]

Parenting plans, support systems, proof of being there when she was young, witnesses that can attest to this, being reasonable and taking the high road. This is what will get you the best results for the youngsters.

Is family counselling an option? Start rapport with your 16 year old again. Get tickets for her and her friends to her favorite concert and chat with her over coffee about the great time they'll have. Apologize to her about you and her mother's relationship and remind her your her dad and you'll always love her.

She's 16. She may blame herself for this and trust me .. she's feeling stress too. She may need a big daddy hug.

pretty good advice except for the bolded part. The man is on disability and paying a lawyer so I am thinking money may be an issue. Plus it sets the scene for the teen..I want something so I will kick off and dad will get it for me so I will still see him. This teen is on her mothers side, maybe with valid reasons, maybe not. No amount of bribery will change that. It will take time and lots of patience on the fathers part.

[LovingFather32]

pretty good advice except for the bolded part. The man is on disability and paying a lawyer so I am thinking money may be an issue. Plus it sets the scene for the teen..I want something so I will kick off and dad will get it for me so I will still see him. This teen is on her mothers side, maybe with valid reasons, maybe not. No amount of bribery will change that. It will take time and lots of patience on the fathers part.

lol .. good point

I used to give parenting seminars illustrating the difference between "bribery" and "positive reinforcement". In general, if you reinforce a good, healthy behavior its not too bad of an idea. Our brains are designed for reward. I know I don't work for free. Im reinforced with a paycheck. But Im not here to talk psychology. lol

[OhMy]

Richard,

Is there a restraining or no contact order disallowing you to speak or see your 16yo presently?

[standing on the sidelines]

lol .. good point

I used to give parenting seminars illustrating the difference between "bribery" and "positive reinforcement". In general, if you reinforce a good, healthy behavior its not too bad of an idea. Our brains are designed for reward. I know I don't work for free. Im reinforced with a paycheck. But Im not here to talk psychology. lol

the almighty dollar. I am like you, I work for the paycheck. I can see reinforcing good behaviour and I agree you, that's a good idea. Just in this instance the child really hasn't been practicing good behaviour.

[OhMy]

Richard could you clarify if I have this right to help us understand it a little more?

In June, you were late for an access visit, entered your former spouses home, went into your youngest dtrs room, found she had been incontinent, then as you were removing her from your former spouses home an argument ensued with your oldest daughter and the police were phoned.

How late were you?
Was it a usual occurrence to enter the home? If not, were you invited in?
Where were your visits normally to occur?

[standing on the sidelines]

My oldest daughter was the one yelling at me, being the father, I was scolding her, and telling her that her actions are not going to be accepted, wagging my finger in her face the whole time.

Unfortunately, my oldest one acts this way, because her mother has been more interested in being the best friend, instead of the parent, and she has allowed our oldest daughter to think that she is the adult as well, and can disrespect me, because her mother did, and I was not going to allow that.

The courts in Canada have stopped parents from using corporal punishment, so that was the only option that I had available to me.

She acts that way because she is a 16 year old teenager. I take it the "scolding" involved raising your voice to her? Wagging a finger in her face wasn't a good idea.

So it sounds like you think hitting a 16 year old is a good idea??

[standing on the sidelines]

Yes, there was an argument on the afternoon of April 2nd, that took place outside at my vehicle.

can you tell us the details of the argument and how you acted? That may offer some insight on why she took off so quickly.

[Richard519]

Richard,

Is there a restraining or no contact order disallowing you to speak or see your 16yo presently?

Unfortunately, Yes

[Richard519]

Richard could you clarify if I have this right to help us understand it a little more?

In June, you were late for an access visit, entered your former spouses home, went into your youngest dtrs room, found she had been incontinent, then as you were removing her from your former spouses home an argument ensued with your oldest daughter and the police were phoned.

How late were you?
Was it a usual occurrence to enter the home? If not, were you invited in?
Where were your visits normally to occur?

I entered, because I thought that my daughters mother was home, and yes, and argument started, she approached me, and literally was pulling and twisting my youngest daughters arm so hard, that I thought that she was going to dislocated it, so as that was happening, I put my youngest daughter down, to begin scolding my oldest daughter, because she could have injured her sister.

I was about thirty minutes late, and the police were called, because the neighbor heard people arguing, and then, what's funny, was that the neighbor called the police, and told the police that my oldest daughter came out to my vehicle, and that I slapped her, when I have never raised my hands to my children.

My visits were normally three days a week, one day during the weekend.

[stripes]

She's mentally unstable because one minute she could be the nicest person to be around, the next minute she's yelling at the top of her lungs at my youngest daughter, she's been exhibiting traits of a sociopath.

And she uses that line she wants to do what makes her happy, meaning that she doesn't want to be told to stop being a whore, stop talking to other men on the cell phone, facebook, stop sending naked pics to other men.

.

She doesn't like being called a whore? That makes her mentally unstable? I don't think so.

You do not have the right to dictate what another adult, including your wife, does with her time. If you don't like her behavior (talking to other men, facebooking), you can reason or negotiate with her, or end the relationship, but you can't expect her to obey you. She does not belong to you.

Putting this together with your other comments, I'm getting the picture of someone with significant anger management issues. You call your wife a whore (and are indignant that she doesn't like it), you enter her house without her permission, you get into a verbal fight with your oldest daughter loud enough that the police are called, you are issued a restraining order to keep you way from your ex's home and prohibiting you from speaking to your oldest daughter; and the biggest problem you see with this behavior is that the criminal code does not allow you to use corporal punishment on your daughter so you have to scream at her in public.

I'm contrasting your self-reported behavior with that of other people on this forum who have experienced equally wrenching separations from their children, but who have not behaved the way you did. If you continue with this unregulated anger, you're in danger of losing all contact with your children. You need to get this under control now. Get help.

[Richard519]

She acts that way because she is a 16 year old teenager. I take it the "scolding" involved raising your voice to her? Wagging a finger in her face wasn't a good idea.

So it sounds like you think hitting a 16 year old is a good idea??

Hitting no, that's assault, apparently in Canada, a parent cannot use corporal punishment on a child, but in the state of Michigan, you can:
Michigan

[Michigan Legislative Council Chapter Index]
Parent/guardian/other person permitted by law, parent, or guardian can reasonably discipline a child, including the use of reasonable force. § 750.136b.. [Criminal Code]
[Michigan: MCL Chapter Index]

State by State Spanking Laws - Kidjacked

We got some answers from people who should know including Assistant Kent County Prosecutor Helen Brinkman who specializes in crimes against kids; Susan Powers who is a therapist with the Children's Assessment Center where children who are victims of crimes are taken to be interviewed by staff trained in child psychology; and Grand Rapids Police Detective Dan Adams, a member of the department's major crimes unit.
Helen Brinkman says: There is no law against spanking a child or using, what the law calls, "reasonable discipline.”
Parents have the right to use corporal punishment. There is no law against it.
The old doctrine of spare the rod, spoil the child has not been criminalized, as some people believe.

Law Talk: When does corporal punishment or spanking a child become a criminal act? | MLive.com

As a parent, we need to be able to use corporal punishment in Canada, as long as it does not cross the line.

[Links17]

I think you need to re-evaluate your attitude in life. I will tell you why I think that.

1 - Entering your ex-wife's home who fled from you in the middle of the night is borderline stupid whether she was home or not.

2 - The neighbor reporting and then testifying against you is meaningful a random neighbour isn't going to get involved in other people's business just like that.

3 - Concerning your older child - At 16, considering you JUST recently got divorced - if you were involved with you child its hard for me to believe she has been alienated against you to that extent. My ex has been alienating from my kids since before we divorced and they kids still love me and as time goes on they realize she is angry, selfish individual

As a parent, we need to be able to use corporal punishment in Canada, as long as it does not cross the line.

This is stupid. I am strict with my children and I barely have to raise my voice. Just know what their pressure point are at any given age (timeout, toys, screen time etc..) and be consistent also be close to them so they listen to you out of love not out of fear or "respect".

You come across as a nut...

[Richard519]

I think you need to re-evaluate your attitude in life. I will tell you why I think that.

1 - Entering your ex-wife's home who fled from you in the middle of the night is borderline stupid whether she was home or not.

2 - The neighbor reporting and then testifying against you is meaningful a random neighbour isn't going to get involved in other people's business just like that.

3 - Concerning your older child - At 16, considering you JUST recently got divorced - if you were involved with you child its hard for me to believe she has been alienated against you to that extent

I didn't enter that home in the middle of the night, it was five in the evening.

As for the neighbor, she lied to the police, and as for my oldest daughter, she has been turned against me, because her mother has been concerned with being a best friend, instead of the other parent, I was never allowed to establish structure, rules, guidelines, because when I did, the mother would undermine my position.

And that sort of thing continued, even after I had to speak to the mother.

And I have never had to raise my voice to my oldest daughter until this situation.

And I am definitely not a nut, I am a father who's rights are being ignored, and eroded by this judicial system.

[Links17]

BTW look at my past my ex was sending naked pics to her cousin from my daughter's bed and has thrown a knife at my 8yr old son. My ex actually sounds a lot like yours - the disorder could actually be borderline personality order or histrionic personality disorder but really you need a diagnosis if you want to mention that.

A lot of us have been where you might have been with an irresponsible, immature spouses - it doesn't make them insane just entitled biatches... Unless you get a psychologist to condemn you ex as insane then never even imply it.

As I said before as long as you look at things as "Your rights" you will get nowhere. Fathers are bank machines unless proven otherwise....

Figure out what you want to happen going forward and work towards it which is pretty much a few things.

1-What parenting arrangement do you want for the 4 year old?
2-How much support are you going to pay.
3-Divide up your assets.

In a divorced household kids at 16 do what they want. If you ex is a slut who lets your daughter be a slut and your daughter wants that there is pretty much nothing you can do. The best you can do is "be there" for her and hope she comes around. I'm sorry this might be your situation but your best bet is to just be her friend to with a sprinkle of authority because she can always go to mommy.

[standing on the sidelines]

I entered, because I thought that my daughters mother was home, and yes, and argument started, she approached me, and literally was pulling and twisting my youngest daughters arm so hard, that I thought that she was going to dislocated it, so as that was happening, I put my youngest daughter down, to begin scolding my oldest daughter, because she could have injured her sister.

I was about thirty minutes late, and the police were called, because the neighbor heard people arguing, and then, what's funny, was that the neighbor called the police, and told the police that my oldest daughter came out to my vehicle, and that I slapped her, when I have never raised my hands to my children.

My visits were normally three days a week, one day during the weekend.

you had your finger in her face according to you. The neighbour acted because he heard people (not just your daughter ) arguing and you had your finger in your daughters face. The neighbour may have either thought you hit your kid (with the finger being so close to her face) or that you may turn violent. Neighbours don't call the police when its just normal arguing for the most part. Can you not see where you were in the wrong in all this?