Two ex's on this forum?

[DeadBeatDouchebagDad]

This message is hidden because FB_ is on your ignore list.

[Berner_Faith]

Seriously dude... what do you want from people here? You can say all you want that your negativity about the ex is not rubbing off on the children, but no one is going to believe you. I am a new partner too and as much as I dislike some of the things my partner's ex does... she is still the children's mother and I respect that. The BEST part of being a new partner is being able to step back and not have to deal with all the BS that the ex's put their ex through. When his ex rears her crazy head, I turn the other way... I support him in his decisions but he is on his own to deal with her. If she decides to have her nice head on that day, her and I can actually have decent, adult conversations.

Even your name makes me angry and personally I think half of your name may even apply to to how you act.

Feel free to put me on ignore too, because I think you are doing more harm to your step kids then good. And just so you know... someone expressing their opinion that you are stressing out your kids is not grounds for removal. Everyone is entitled to their opinion and to many posters opinion or very negative attitude towards the ex is doing more harm than good.

[DowntroddenDad]

Feel free to put me on your ignore list as well, it would be a badge of honor.

[stripes]

I am noticing a pattern:

1. DBDBD says something derogatory about his step children's father.

2. People jump on him (justifiably, in my view) for his unproductively hostile demeanour.

3. DBDBD jumps on others for not caring enough about what a DBDB his step kids' father is.

4. (Here's my conjecture) DBDBD thus gets to position himself as the champion of his stepkids and his wife, against an uncaring world which attacks him but isn't concerned about the much greater wrongs being done by the dad (see DBDBD's response to Tayken for the clearest example of this dynamic). This may have some psychological value for DBDBD in propping up his self-image, who knows? It certainly doesn't lead to productive discussion.

I suggest short-circuiting this process by skipping step 2. Put DBDBD on ignore or just don't pay attention to him when he starts going on about the kids' dad. In particular, don't pay him the kind of attention that gives him an opening to continue going on about what a DBDB the kids' dad is. This kind of attention helps to build up his own self-perception as the champion of kids and wife against an uncaring world, but isn't really useful for the rest of us.

That's my amateur psychoanalysis of a complete stranger on the internet. Thank you. Over and out.

[DeadBeatDouchebagDad]

I think you are doing more harm to your step kids then good.

This is what outrages me. Where's the harm being done to the Ex by me raging here ONLINE. Where's the harm to the partner that I will defend to the death, and where's the harm to the kids who get more attention out of me than Ex ever gave. I give my all. And yes I resent that Daddy gives 10% of his time. Deal with it that you have to read my rage.

Just so you know, I refuse to discuss Daddy around the kids. I want the kids to "feel" that I don't care one IOTA about Daddy. They say something like "Daddy does this and this..." and I'm like "great". The end.

Daddy doesn't mean shit to me. I don't say this to them , but "Daddy deserted you kids". As the years go by, they'll wake up and realize Daddy is a fake.

[DeadBeatDouchebagDad]

I am noticing a pattern:

1. DBDBD says something derogatory about his step children's father.

2. People jump on him (justifiably, in my view) for his unproductively hostile demeanour.

3. DBDBD jumps on others for not caring enough about what a DBDB his step kids' father is.

4. (Here's my conjecture) DBDBD thus gets to position himself as the champion of his stepkids and his wife, against an uncaring world which attacks him but isn't concerned about the much greater wrongs being done by the dad (see DBDBD's response to Tayken for the clearest example of this dynamic). This may have some psychological value for DBDBD in propping up his self-image, who knows? It certainly doesn't lead to productive discussion.

I suggest short-circuiting this process by skipping step 2. Put DBDBD on ignore or just don't pay attention to him when he starts going on about the kids' dad. In particular, don't pay him the kind of attention that gives him an opening to continue going on about what a DBDB the kids' dad is. This kind of attention helps to build up his own self-perception as the champion of kids and wife against an uncaring world, but isn't really useful for the rest of us.

That's my amateur psychoanalysis of a complete stranger on the internet. Thank you. Over and out.

Bravo Stripes I agree with you 1000000%. Especially the bold.

Some of you guys may not care about what I'm fighting for, but I need to go nuts online sometimes on some of you because the situation is UNJUST and it means everything to me to make it JUST.

[stripes]

This is what outrages me. Where's the harm being done to the Ex by me raging here ONLINE. Where's the harm to the partner that I will defend to the death, and where's the harm to the kids who get more attention out of me than Ex ever gave. I give my all. And yes I resent that Daddy gives 10% of his time. Deal with it that you have to read my rage.

Just so you know, I refuse to discuss Daddy around the kids. I want the kids to "feel" that I don't care one IOTA about Daddy. They say something like "Daddy does this and this..." and I'm like "great". The end.

Daddy doesn't mean shit to me. I don't say this to them , but "Daddy deserted you kids". As the years go by, they'll wake up and realize Daddy is a fake.

^^^ this is exactly the dynamic that I was talking about in my post above, in case anyone's interested.

[DeadBeatDouchebagDad]

Feel free to put me on your ignore list as well, it would be a badge of honor.

Done. Same goes for everyone else who asked to be blocked. Bernier. Don't forget to block me too. I dont get why these people keep replying to my posts after they ask me to stop seeing their posts. It's like they can't resist replying or don't know how to use the options on here?

[wretchedotis]

My 2 cents.

I know - nobody cares except me.
But nonetheless, I believe you're all entitled to my opinion

You can feel anyway you want. You can even express negative feelings.

Just make sure you take care in how you describe those feelings.

Words are powerful, and concrete.

Totally paraphrasing here; but read some quote awhile back along the lines of:

"be careful what you think as it becomes what you say.
be careful what you say as it becomes what you do.
be careful what you do as it becomes who you are."

Ergo, thinking in hateful terms will result in...?

[OhMy]

I agree with Otis and will add;

Anger and rage in any form, in any arena, will boil over into other aspects of ones life. Whether someone realizes it or not. It can be all consuming. It can suck what energy you may have left.

It's a state of mind. It's hard to let go of and it can be contagious.

It's not worth it, it won't change the person the anger or rage is directed toward or the situation you are in.

Before anyone jumps to conclusions. Yes, I know the feeling of anger and I have plenty of past and present reasons to be angry and feel rage. I made the choice not to be. Regardless of what the next curve ball might be I refuse to waste my time and energy being angry. It's not good for me or the children involved and solves nothing.

DBD- I mean this with respect, don't assume you are 'the only one' on here that has issues. You anger is seething in most of your posts. Your anger will not help you, but will hinder you.

Let the anger go and work on what you can change and do to better yours and the children's lives in your situation.

Being and staying angry is just not worth it for any reason.

[DeadBeatDouchebagDad]

Wretched - Oh my... You make great posts, and while I may not agree I won't get mad at you guys because you're making well thought out points. It's when people judge bait guess what kind of parent I am or take shots that I have no patience for. Bunch of Dr. Phil's who have no life but to pop into a thread, drop a grenade on you and run. Tayken. You know the type.

[Tayken]

Tayken is a police officer called in to investigate a domestic violence call/

I am?

He speaks to the victim who is crying in the corner and beside herself with rage towards her attacker.

Huh?

Tayken hears her wailing and he tells the victim to stop using profanities towards her attacker because it paints a negative view of the victim's personality.

What?

No comment about the assault Officer Tayken?

I am not sure what you are getting at?

(Note: This is possibly one of the greatest examples of projection by a HCP ever typed into this message board. Wow. It is just all over the map with confusion, blame and nonsense. It is even better than some of the more "resourceful" other posts.)

Firstly, I am not a peace officer, lawyer or clinician. So, I am not sure what you are trying to get at here. This is quite possibly the most confusing thing I have ever seen written to this message board in response to a comment I have written.

It far surpasses other more "resourceful" highly conflicted posters...

I would recommend that you seek some art therapy to deal with your anger "douchebagdeadbeatdad".

Good Luck!
Tayken

[Tayken]

Wretched - Oh my... You make great posts, and while I may not agree I won't get mad at you guys because you're making well thought out points. It's when people judge bait guess what kind of parent I am or take shots that I have no patience for. Bunch of Dr. Phil's who have no life but to pop into a thread, drop a grenade on you and run. Tayken. You know the type.

Feel free to funnel all your anger at me "deadbeatdouchbagdad". You can go on believing whatever nonsense you want to believe. Hurling insults like this really helps you prove your point... or does it simply prove another point... I am still confused by the previous post to me...

Good Luck!
Tayken

[stripes]

I am?



Huh?



What?



I am not sure what you are getting at?

(Note: This is possibly one of the greatest examples of projection by a HCP ever typed into this message board. Wow. It is just all over the map with confusion, blame and nonsense. It is even better than some of the more "resourceful" other posts.)

Firstly, I am not a peace officer, lawyer or clinician. So, I am not sure what you are trying to get at here. This is quite possibly the most confusing thing I have ever seen written to this message board in response to a comment I have written.

It far surpasses other more "resourceful" highly conflicted posters...

I would recommend that you seek some art therapy to deal with your anger "douchebagdeadbeatdad".

Good Luck!
Tayken

Tayken,

It is Projection City, and kind of fascinating in a weird way. Let me attempt to break it down:

The OP feels that great injustice has been done (domestic violence, with an injured victim) . He is the only one who can see this injustice - everyone else sees only the superficial manifestations of suffering (wailing) and mistakes them for an injustice. You, Tayken, are standing in for all the insensitive, blind and stupid people in the world who can't see what the OP sees. In this projection, you represent the inept and ignorant forces of authority ("Officer Tayken"), but you are being called to account ("no comment about the assault?") by the OP, because he alone can see what is really going on. This projective fantasy allows him to set himself up as a hero by calling standing up to you, in your role as the blind and ignorant manifestation of authority, at least within the limited space allowed by an Internet forum.

I've read about this psychodynamic stuff, but you don't see it too often in real life as clearly as this.

[arabian]

DBDBD - I think if you changed your name to DBDBD it would be a step in the right direction. The name is pretty off-putting. I am actually surprised that the name was allowed in the first place: douche bag being a device to flush out a vagina (for those who are unaware).