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Old 07-26-2011, 01:15 PM
iismail iismail is offline
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Default Trial coming up - custody & Section 7 question...

Hi all,

Here is my situation.
We have been separated since jan 2009.
We have a temporary court order for CS and section 7 expenses.
My access time with the kids is as follow:
-for the 8 and 7 years every week-end from Friday @5pm until Sunday @5 pm
-for the 3 years old 4 hours per week at the home of my ex.
This court order way back was set in may 2010.
We have a trial coming up in October regarding custody and NFP.
After consulting two lawyer, they advice not to ask for share custody like 50% due to
Yesterday my soon ex lawyer's made an offer me:
-parallel parenting
-every other weekend from friday until monday morning to school, basically less time
than what i have now.
-also they want to put in the SA, that her aunti will the childcare at my home for my kids.

1. What are the chance of loosing my current access time at the trial if we that route?
Basically i want every other weekend and one weeknight every other week.
2. Can i refuse her aunti as the child care provider since she is not a licensed and we are
not in good term?
Should i go and ask for another settlement conference to change my previous demand
50% time? Or simply writing to my ex lawyer should be enough?
Old 07-26-2011, 02:39 PM
fireweb13 fireweb13 is offline
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One question. Is your childrens Aunti going to take care of them in YOUR home?
Also the only main difference from what you really want and what they are offering is a Wednesday evening right? Why don't your write them up an offer to settle stating that and hope it goes well?
Old 07-26-2011, 04:48 PM
iismail iismail is offline
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Fireweb13, according to my wife the auntie is going to take care of the kids at my ex house; But my ex is not working at the moment she register two class at Ottawa U. while taking care the kids by herself; I don't know how to proof that my ex is the one who is taking care of the kids rather than the auntie; she is using the auntie to simply get a receipt. She stops using the previous day care without my knowledge
This happen way back in January, immediately I ask my lawyer to file a motion and she did (waited 6 weeks to get a court date) and just before the motion date my ex said that she had car accident (not true) and she can't come to court and we had a get a new date (another 6 weeks); Again 1 week before the new court date my lawyer notify me that my ex lawyer's is not available and we need to get a new date again (another 8 weeks). Finally on July 4th was the new court date and this time my lawyer made a mistake because she didn't send the confirmation before the deadline (Canada day is not considered as business day) and we had to get a new date again, I got feed up the lawyer, fire her and hire a new one yesterday and give up that motion since it 7 months since she took the kids from the daycare.

Their offer is every other weekend (Monday to Friday);
Currently I have 2 days a week (from Friday 5pm until Sunday 5pm).

Basically I want what I have now but not less but they are offering less EOW.
If got to trial based on my demand, would it be possible that i could lose and pay her lawyer fee? that I am afraid?
Old 07-26-2011, 05:08 PM
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Rioe Rioe is offline
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Honestly, I think you might have trouble keeping your status quo in this case. You currently have EVERY weekend. This means you get all the 'fun' days with your children and your ex gets all the 'work' days. You get to go camping, go to the movies, take field trips, visit museums, let them stay up late, etc, and she only gets to get home from work to make dinner, harass them about homework and put them to bed on time. That's hardly a fair parenting arrangement.

Yes, it feels like your ex is trying to take time away from you, but what she's really trying to do is gain some fun time with her own children. Most agreements split the time up so that each parent has every other weekend.

So as long as you realize that status quo IS going to change, concentrate on influencing HOW it changes.

I think you'd go a long way to settling this if you agree to give up half the weekends. It makes you appear reasonable and fair. But to keep the time with your children the same, you should ask that you get two weekdays every two weeks in exchange. You could ask for two days, maybe Monday and Tuesday, during the week that you don't get the weekend, to minimize time apart, or maybe ask that your alternating weekend be from Thursday evening to Monday morning. The most common arrangement (aka the EoW screwjob) would be for the children to spend Wednesday nights with you as well. Every week, that is, not every other week as you put above.

Did you want to try to fight for 50-50? That's perfectly reasonable, although an uphill battle depending on the length of the status quo. As long as you're prepared to keep the above in mind as a backup offer, there's no reason why you shouldn't start off asking for 50-50. Maybe include a proposal to gradually expand access to 50-50 instead of making a dramatic change all at once.

What I would really fight for, is for any agreement to apply to the youngest child as well. A three year old is perfectly capable of coming and going between two homes. It's absolutely ridiculous that you only get four hours per week and it has to be at your ex's house!

As for the aunt, it seems pretty controlling to me to try to tell you who you can or can't use for daycare. I would not agree to anything that dictated who could come into my house and look after my children!

Good luck.

Last edited by Rioe; 07-26-2011 at 05:10 PM.
Old 07-27-2011, 01:22 PM
iismail iismail is offline
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Thanks for your advice.

That is exactly what I want; I am willing to give up one weekend but in return I want two days during the weekdays;
The current schedule has been in place since the first conference call (14 months).
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