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Still in the house. Ex doesn't understand boundaries.

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  • #16
    What happened in the meeting? You didn't agree to her demands, did you? I think you have a very good shot at getting the custody and keeping your house. Don't give in to her bullying tactics and do it for your kids.

    I think you need to get a lawyer as I don't think you are getting a fair deal.

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    • #17
      The simple fact is that my ex would force me to drag my children through the court system just on principle, and I refuse to let that happen. Sure, I might have won eventually... But then I'd still be even poorer after the legal fees.

      This way I walk away with undamaged kids. The daycare fees will go down soon enough, and if she can finally start working full-time (or get her business running) then I'll be paying less than 75%.

      I have to start my new life now. I can't fight forever.

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      • #18
        Stubbs,

        I don't disagree with your stance. Court can take years and yes, you could add $20 000++++ to your debt load.

        You didn't mention your access? Is that fair for you?

        I sympathize with your new financial situation. The good news is no spousal support on top of the CS. That's good for you. Signing off on your pension is also good for you.
        Her taking at least the 2 high interest cards is good.

        Your situation is similar to my partners and you came out better than him. He spent thousands in court and it dragged for 5 years and he didn't accomplish anything more than you got at the meeting.

        Just remember that if you work overtime to keep the boat afloat it will bite you next year for CS. Be careful. In the meantime I'll ask around if anyones in the market for a liver.

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        • #19
          In the meantime I'll ask around if anyones in the market for a liver.
          While you are at it, I am offering one of my kidneys as well so my ex can continue her vacation like lifestyle...this is when I have the custody!

          What saddens me is that the system forces the hardworking parent to give up while pampering the lazy one who can't even think what's best for their children.

          I hope everything works for the best for your children.

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          • #20
            Thanks for the support, folks. My access to my kids will be wonderful. I have regular joint custody, and as I well I made sure that I included a 'first refusal' clause, so before she calls a babysitter to watch the girls she has to offer the chance to me.

            As well, my ex has admitted the need for me to be in kids' life as much as possible, so there is an understanding that I will be available to drop them off and pick them up from school, and allow them extra weekend visits if she has to work.

            Sadly, I'll have to take up an extra few shifts to make ends meet. I'm prepared for the inevitable bump in CS if it means the difference between buying groceries and going to the Food Bank.

            Luckily for me, my Mom is a very loving and understanding woman, and she sensed years ago that my wife would eventually wipe me out. She made some special investments in the event that she had to float me some cash to get through a few months.

            Oh, I forgot: I'm not sleeping well, of course. But when I do sleep, I sleep better knowing that my ex will have to do all the disgusting menial jobs around the house that I used to do. She's always relied on men to do her dirty work, and now her new boyfriend (from the affair) will get to change the kitty litter, mow the lawn, take out the garbage...

            I have since met up with an old acquaintance of mine from the airport which I work. We've sort of known each other for 8 years, but haven't seen each other for the last 3. She's an airline pilot who is super-nice, sweet and caring. As well, she's independant and great with her money... And she just happens to be moving nearby next week. We're totally smitten with each other.

            So sometimes you get some good with the bad. There is hope even when it all seems hopeless. I move out in 13 days.

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