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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #1  
Old 03-05-2022, 12:53 PM
pinkHouses pinkHouses is offline
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Hello fellow frendos,
My ex lives about 20km away, an 70 minute round trip and our order says that I have to drop the kids off at their place when exchanging to them and they have to drop the kids off at my place when exchanging to me. It is online schooling right now.

Their car died and it is "too expensive to fix", they don't need a car and buying a car is very expensive right now. That could mean 6 years of this.

They want me to do all the driving for exchanges, I objected but am doing it. This is a typical control and leech behavior or theirs where they get someone else to take over their commitments. They are in violation but I don't know what court will say about this or how long before that court date would be.

Any idea how and what I get in the way of Justice and a fix here?

thanks.
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Old 03-05-2022, 01:58 PM
Stillbreathing Stillbreathing is offline
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Is there something you would like in exchange? This is a perfect time to negotiate for something that you would like. Or ask them to pay your gas or next oil change. That’s not unreasonable. You never know until you ask.
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Old 03-05-2022, 04:06 PM
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https://www.canada.ca/en/revenue-age...allowance.html

Apparantly, the "official" rate is 61 cents per km. Your ex should be paying you $40.72 per round trip that you are doing instead of her.

As a show of generosity, you can charge only $40.
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Old 03-05-2022, 04:31 PM
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blinkandimgone blinkandimgone is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Janus View Post
https://www.canada.ca/en/revenue-age...allowance.html

Apparantly, the "official" rate is 61 cents per km. Your ex should be paying you $40.72 per round trip that you are doing instead of her.

As a show of generosity, you can charge only $40.
Not sure on the math happening here. 40km @ .61 = $24.40.

But also, where are you (OP) driving that the speed limit is 35km/hr that it's taking you 70 minutes to drive 40km round-trip?

At 60km/hr, it would be a max of 40 minutes round trip.

If your agreement says it's up to them to drop off then it's up to them to make arrangements. They can take an uber, or taxi, find a friend, public transportation or make arrangements with you. But ultimately, it is their responsibility to sort it out. Just not showing up isn't one of the available options.
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Old 03-05-2022, 05:41 PM
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I thought it was 70km.

Oops

Obviously he has no obligation, but if he refuses the likely result is that his ex will say “well, I can’t bring the kid over so too bad”. He will have to go to court to fix that issue.

This is why I think most people have it backwards. The parent picking up should be doing the driving. That way they are motivated to do so and be on time.

Anyhow, by charging a reasonable rate he can see his kid and get some bonus car time.
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Old 03-05-2022, 07:47 PM
pinkHouses pinkHouses is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blinkandimgone View Post
Not sure on the math happening here. 40km @ .61 = $24.40.

But also, where are you (OP) driving that the speed limit is 35km/hr that it's taking you 70 minutes to drive 40km round-trip?

At 60km/hr, it would be a max of 40 minutes round trip.

If your agreement says it's up to them to drop off then it's up to them to make arrangements. They can take an uber, or taxi, find a friend, public transportation or make arrangements with you. But ultimately, it is their responsibility to sort it out. Just not showing up isn't one of the available options.
Thanks. it is closer to 25km, there is traffic at that time. Driving is a real PITA.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Janus View Post
https://www.canada.ca/en/revenue-age...allowance.html

Apparantly, the "official" rate is 61 cents per km. Your ex should be paying you $40.72 per round trip that you are doing instead of her.

As a show of generosity, you can charge only $40.
Thanks :-) I will propose that.
I didn't think to consider that I should pick them up early so they get to my place on time.
The money is a token gesture but if it adds a bit of motivation for them that is good, I will also try to get it so they have to pick up the kids for their time and vice versa when we are back in court.
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Old 03-05-2022, 08:25 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Janus View Post

This is why I think most people have it backwards. The parent picking up should be doing the driving. That way they are motivated to do so and be on time.
100% agree, meant to mention that in my initial post also. I think it should always be the default that the person whose parenting time is starting is the one to collect them, and it should always be from school or daycare whenever possible. This puts the accountability on them for their time.

In this situation, I would propose that as the change moving forward, and then it gives the other parent time to get the car repaired before it's their turn to pick up.
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Old 03-05-2022, 08:32 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pinkHouses View Post
Thanks. it is closer to 25km, there is traffic at that time. Driving is a real PITA.


Thanks :-) I will propose that.
I didn't think to consider that I should pick them up early so they get to my place on time.
The money is a token gesture but if it adds a bit of motivation for them that is good, I will also try to get it so they have to pick up the kids for their time and vice versa when we are back in court.

Alternately, you could agree to pick up if you can do so at an earlier time that avoids traffic if they expect you to drive both ways. Unless things are amicable, even if they agree to pay the cost of you making the extra drive both ways, if they refuse to pay it there aren't a lot of options to collect on it after the fact.

If you do agree to do all the driving, consider making it clear upfront that you agree for Xx Amount of time only, giving enough time for them to get their car fixed or make other arrangements. It's unlikely you want this to become the status quo.
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