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Common Law Issues The law regarding common law relationships is different than in cases of divorce. Discuss the issues that affect unmarried couples here.

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  #11  
Old 04-02-2010, 07:13 AM
Laurie-Jean Laurie-Jean is offline
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Thank you to lilyg and Looking4Answers. It is very helpful to put it in the context of living standards and I will definitely talk to her about engaging the FRO.
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Old 10-07-2010, 11:50 PM
PandaMuse PandaMuse is offline
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I would hope that this reply finds you before you have gone forward with FRO. Your sister expressed that she did not want to go forward with claiming SS because of moral reasons. Unfortunately Family Law (particularly in regards to common law) does not base itself on morals, it is based on greed.

My thoughts: Even by going through FRO the parties that your sister is concerned about offending will find out. PERIOD. Given what you have written about your sister, her mental state is fragile. This will put a huge strain on that, and in the long run may do your sister more harm than good.

Please take this into consideration before pushing her into something that she is not prepared to handle.

p.s. It truly is a great blessing that your sister has you to look out for her. I honestly believe that you are looking after her best interests. Please do not take what I have written as negativity, it is just my thoughts based on the information you have provided.
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Old 10-08-2010, 01:00 PM
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rustedinnocence rustedinnocence is offline
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Default ..ask her a few hard questions

If she shows to be entitled, then she can still have a clean break. Spousal can be paid out in a onetime lump sum amount.... not an ongoing monthly thing. The onetime payment will most likely be a lower amount but it will cut all strings in the future and she could invest it and do a monthly withdrawal from the funds while the base amount accrues interest & grows.
As far as her being worried about what he or his family will think about her,,,, if he really cared about her and her well being, he’d be offering to help her become resituated and get back on her feet… same with his family members. Seriously, when all is said and done, she most likely will not see these people any longer. And in all honesty, when have you ever heard someone saying how fair their ex was too them? If she is just trying to save face, 10 to 1, face is already gone because of the brake up. IF she is entitled, why would she just let him keep it so that he can wine and dine someone else what is rightfully hers? That be like her footing the bill for some other women to be with her ex.
Ask her this, on Christmas morning, when he sits around the table with his family and NEW GIRLFRIEND, does she think that they are wondering what she is doing or where she is at in her life? Will they care about if she has enough funds to put together a Christmas dinner for herself? I don’t think it will matter one bit to them? She will not have space in their thoughts.
Not trying to be nasty here, but your sister sounds much like I use to be and that is co-dependent. She needs to take care of her and love herself. She needs to figure out why she feels she does not deserve it, and if she answers that she does deserve it, then she needs to figure out why she feels that she has to sacrifice what is rightfully hers in order to make other people like her?... (and I’m not saying she is owed spousal support… I have no idea what their relationship is about or has been about….i am just saying that if she deserves something, then she has to figure out what it is that keeps her from feeling like she deserves it)
Again, I don’t know her story, don’t know if she is entitled or not, but I do know from what you are saying, she needs some reassurance and someone like you to help her find her worth again. She is worth taking care of herself.
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