Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

So Tired

Collapse
This topic is closed.
X
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • My lawyer has received her response. I should be able to review it soon.

    I'm prepared for and expecting a lot of crap. But we shall see.

    Comment


    • I have received her response and was surprised there was not more crap but there is enough.

      I do have several questions but I'm not sure how much of it I should post on here.

      But I will ask this question now.

      Her claim.


      1 a) Custody and Primary Residence of children of marriage......

      b) Support for the children in accordance with the child support guidlines

      c) Spousal support for the respondant in the amount of $750.00 / month.

      This is what MySupportCalculator spit out.

      Child Support - CSG Table Amount
      Self pays Spouse child support of $1,147 per month , according to the Child Support Guidelines ("CSG").

      Spousal Support - SSAG
      If entitlement to spousal support is established, in addition to any child support to be paid by either party above, Self pays Spouse spousal support in an amount to be determined between $0 and $58 per month (with a midpoint of $0 per month) for a period to be determined between 4.5 to 16 years from the date of separation, according to the Spousal Support Advisory Guidelines ("SSAG") - "With Child Support" Formula.
      If I adjust it to shared custody it's as follows

      Child Support - CSG Table Amount
      Self pays Spouse child support of $389 per month , as a starting point subject to further adjustments, according to the Child Support Guidelines ("CSG").

      Spousal Support - SSAG
      If entitlement to spousal support is established, in addition to any child support to be paid by either party above, Self pays Spouse spousal support in an amount to be determined between $0 and $363 per month (with a midpoint of $0 per month) for a period to be determined between 4.5 to 16 years from the date of separation, according to the Spousal Support Advisory Guidelines ("SSAG") - "With Child Support" Formula.
      So I have to ask where the hell did $750.00 / month came from? Is this a shoot for the moon kind of number?

      Comment


      • I wouldn't worry too much about where her number came from. It's up to her to justify that. Worry more about your own numbers that prove spousal support should be zero.

        Comment


        • Originally posted by Rioe View Post
          I wouldn't worry too much about where her number came from. It's up to her to justify that. Worry more about your own numbers that prove spousal support should be zero.
          What numbers would those be?

          Basically that with a shared custody agreement with off-set child support NDI would be 53.9 and 46.1 with SSAG Low = $0.00.

          Comment


          • A couple of interesting claims in her response. I would appreciate your comments.


            6. The Respondent was the children's primary caregiver since birth. The Respondent took maternity leave after the birth of both children.
            I also took 6 weeks of parental leave the day my daughter was born to help with the kids during her recovery from child birth.

            7. The Applicants proposal for custody and residence of the children is contrary to their best interests. The proposed time-sharing schedule is far too disruptive for the children and impractical given the Applicant's work schedule. The Applicant is not available given his extensive work hours.
            8. The children require a more stable and structured daily routine which can best be accomplished by having their primary residence remain with the Respondent. The Respondent's work schedule essentially mirrors the children's schedule and she is more available to attend to their daily care on a consistent basis
            9. The children's best interests would not be served by such a proposal for other compelling reasons. Both children are still very young, 4 and 6. The children are too young to be shuttled between households and otherwise disrupted by the proposal put forth. The children should also not be left with third party caregivers when the Applicant is more than able to care for both children.
            10. The proposed time-sharing schedule is also untenable due to the Applicant's inconsistency in scheduling and his almost invariable late notice regarding special events. The Respondent is able to provide the children with the routine and reliability they require, particularly at such a young age.
            11. The Respondent is amenable to a clearly defined joint custodial regime with respect to decision-making and access to information. While it is in the best interest of teh children that their primary residence remains with the Respondent, the Respondent is more than willing to facilitate generous and liberal access on alternate weekends and mid-week access. There is also no issue with the parties sharing all holidays as is standard.
            12. Pending resolution of this matter while continuing to reside together in the matrimonial home the parties have agreed to a parenting schedule which allows the parties to share the children in rotation days, weekends and holidays. The Respondent's work schedule accomodates the children's schedule on the days she has care of them. On numerous occasions, the Applicant/father would as the Respondent to take care of them due to his personal and/or work schedule. The Applicant has also more frequently used the services of his mother to care for the chilren while he is at work or otherwise engaged and has not notified the Respondent of these arrangments in advance in order to give her the option to care for the children as opposed to default to third-party care
            Funny my ex used my mom last night to watch the kids as she had an appointment. She has also asked me to take my son to hockey both last Saturday and next Saturday due to her doctors appointments.

            I have been diligent in keeping a log of exactly where the kids are what arrangements I have made etc. Her claim that I on numerous occasions asked her to watch the children is false.

            13. Since the parties separated, it has become difficult for the Respondent to discipline the children as the Applicant continues to undermine the Respondent. The Applicant denigrates the Respondent in the presence of the children. The children's behavior has worsened since separation. XXXXXX behaviour has been seen through hitting, yelling and use of inappropriate language. XXXXXXXXX has not been listening nor taking instructions. XXXXXXXX has been following in her brother's footsteps. However, when the Applicant/Father is not around, the children become calmer and controllable and they seek more affection by requesting hugs from the Respondent/Mother.
            16. The applicant continues to threaten and control the Respondent. The applicant has put a lock on the basement door which limits the Applicant as to when she can or cannot do laundry on his terms. The Applicant dictates that the parties should communicate through emails although the Respondent does not always have the time to check her emails.
            17. While the Respondent was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder in 2002 she has been well able to function and control this condition with medication. The Respondent continues to see her psychologist once a month except during the summer holidays wherein she attends at her family's cottage with the children. The Respondent's mental or physical health has in no way impeded or impaired her parenting ability at any time. There is no evidence that the Applicant has had an issue leaving the children in the Respondent's primary care since their birth to support such an allegation at this time.
            Except for those 6 weeks she was held against her will in the Mental Health ward because she refused to take her meds.

            20. While teh Respondent has made bugetary cuts in light of the parties' separation, the applicant has not reciprocated in kind. The Applicant continues to enjoy extravagant expenditures and unaffordable luxuries at the expense of the family. The Applicant is planning a cruise while not having dealt with the issues of child and spousal support.
            24. The Respondent is seeking that any equalization payment to the Applicant be held as security for child and spousal support.
            Thanks

            Comment


            • Just wondering if there was an update, I have a similiar situation as yours,cas was involved on seveal occasions and they told me i needed to either take the kids out of the house to protect them or they will ,so i made arrangements during episodes of bipolar mania, when i confronted them they said that i did all the right things and could not help me anymore ,I am a male and if i did those things to the family i am sure i would of been in jail ,i asked for a letter from them so i could see what they came up with, they said they investigated me because my so asked for them ,i flipped when i got that letter and left messages with her and supervisor ,they finally called me back and said we cant help you ,you did all the right things and your kids are safe and sound with you ,but the letter did not say anything about what i had to do to do that, they could not comment and basically washed there hands of the entire situation ,and cas has all the power to do whatever they want but when it actually comes to helping a family ,they are useless and very biased .I put in my answer sheet that cas was invovled and gave a letter of consent to ask for any disclosure in my case .. the problem i am seeing with your case is ,how is your so have the kids , and how is cas even letting them stay with the so ,, this is the part i dont understand on your part ,, sorry for not understanding .

              Comment


              • Originally posted by lplp View Post
                Just wondering if there was an update, I have a similiar situation as yours,cas was involved on seveal occasions and they told me i needed to either take the kids out of the house to protect them or they will ,so i made arrangements during episodes of bipolar mania, when i confronted them they said that i did all the right things and could not help me anymore ,I am a male and if i did those things to the family i am sure i would of been in jail ,i asked for a letter from them so i could see what they came up with, they said they investigated me because my so asked for them ,i flipped when i got that letter and left messages with her and supervisor ,they finally called me back and said we cant help you ,you did all the right things and your kids are safe and sound with you ,but the letter did not say anything about what i had to do to do that, they could not comment and basically washed there hands of the entire situation ,and cas has all the power to do whatever they want but when it actually comes to helping a family ,they are useless and very biased .I put in my answer sheet that cas was invovled and gave a letter of consent to ask for any disclosure in my case .. the problem i am seeing with your case is ,how is your so have the kids , and how is cas even letting them stay with the so ,, this is the part i dont understand on your part ,, sorry for not understanding .
                As there are no orders or agreements in place and we both reside in the matrimonial home we basically have shared custody. I cannot refuse her access to the kids. Children's Aid has been involved and we currently have an open file. However they have never stated to me verbally or written any concerns. So I cannot and would not refuse access.

                Comment


                • Now I understand ,thanks, I went through the same thing as you,my so was hospitalized a few times and she would come back again , but said she wanted to move out and find a place for her to live, i waited and waited and finally we couldnt afford the house anymore so i asked her if it was o.k. to sell house and she agreed ,house sold the first week and we were out by 6 weeks ,she went to her parents to live rent free to finish her college courses and her lawyer took 10 grand from her from the house money and told her that at 10 at night the day before we were getting the money.I tried not to laugh and told he that i would get things in order but she wasted all my time with my lawyer and i refuse to give my money away on those issues.My money was going into my new condo as the kids were living with me so i was in quite the panic the last few weeks .cas would not give me the time of day anymore and said our file was closed because i did all the right things for our kids ,but they would not admit or give a written statement of the fact.i finally got served and tried to do paperwork myself and did fill it out and did retain a lawyer to do certain things,i added a letter of consent for cas to review our file as my ex did not include that in her paperwork and also i added in the foi reports to have anyone review them at will .. it is tough living with someone that does not respond back to you ,I felt the situation would of stayed the same for the rest of my life we didnt sell the house and i am doing great now ,stress free -pm anytime ,i am having trouble posting on this site though...

                  Comment


                  • I have just signed a 3 option offer to settle in accordance with Rule 18.

                    Hopefully she will have time to review it before our case conference (DRO) on Nov 20th. Will this offer be discussed at the case conference?

                    Option 1: She keeps the house and she pays all debt in full.
                    Option 2: I keep the house and I pay all debt in full.
                    Option 3: House is sold and all debt paid in full from proceeds.

                    Shared Access (2-2-3)
                    Shared Custody
                    Off-set Child support

                    Thanks
                    Last edited by FB_; 11-02-2012, 04:49 PM.

                    Comment


                    • Case conference is tomorrow. Hopefully something useful happens so we can have some progress of moving forward.

                      Comment


                      • Just thought I would post an update.

                        Case conference didn't go very well, for me anyway.

                        I did get the travel consent signed and the kids and I just returned from a fantastic trip. In return she asked for a couple of things during the Christmas break which I agreed to.

                        It was a DRO case conference.

                        Arrived at the court house early and my lawyer and I went up and waited out by the meeting room.

                        My lawyer and her lawyer went off and talked for 10 minutes.

                        My lawyer returned and we went to a private area to talk. He had hoped that when he talked to her he could find out where they stood on the issues and the possibility of settling. He came back and told me they would not budge on any of their points. She wants Primary Residence with "generous" access (not defined), Full Table Child Support for both kids, Spousal support in an amount 2.5X the max DivorceMate amount. Equalization payment to be held as security for both Child and Spousal support. He basically told me they would not negotiate these points.

                        The case conference began. DRO started of suggesting that this case looked perfect for a specific mediator. The lawyers talked back and forth talking about this and that.

                        The conversation switched to the travel consent. This was worked out pretty quick. I had the form ready for her to review and it was all signed and witnessed.

                        My lawyer then brought up the sale of the matrimonial home. Say it should be agreed to be listed immediately He lawyer argued it could not because we could not agree on custody therefore couldn't agree on support therefore she wouldn't have a place to live therefore they would not agree. The DRO seemed to agree with her lawyer.

                        We started to talk about custody. DRO started off saying that we both wanted sole custody but also talked about my offers to settle which was shared custody and access. He asked what the current situation was and the lawyers said it was currently shared. Every other weekday and alternating weekends. DRO asked opposing lawyer why that couldn't continue. Her lawyer replied that she had been the childrens primary care giver through out their lives and the current situation was forced upon them by me. My lawyer jumped in and said they I have always been an active parent in their lives. Her lawyer argued that my ex's schedule mimics the kids schedule. I interjected stating that it was not exactly the case the kids were in both before and after school as we both needed care at different points in the day. DRO ask what the hell we did when we were together. It was explained that I did all before school care and she did all after school care. He asked my ex why she thought that couldn't continue. She replied that I have extensive working hours. DRO asked me what I did for a living. I told him that I worked for a bank. DRO explained that that's not really extensive work hours. He then asked my ex why she continue continue to pick the kids up from school and then have me pick them up on my way home from work. Her reply was that that wouldn't be 50/50. DRO replied that it could be made up in different ways and she could have the kids fed for me to pick up. She actually told the DRO that she didn't want to feed them. DRO looked shocked and asked her to explain. She then said that it would be an additional cost and that it wouldn't be fair. DRO said that the costs of that could all be worked out. DRO then determined nothing would be settled today. Suggested perusing the mediation as suggested above. Both lawyers agreed they would do the research. It was stated the cost was $150.00 / hr and it would be shared at $75.00 / each. Lawyers agreed. details were exchanged
                        and name of the person was provided.

                        DRO started talking about the NFP. Both NFP's were very close. Her lawyer stated that my ex couldn't afford the buyout and they wanted it held as security. DRO ignored the comment stated she has a large pension and that it might have to be used to equalize.

                        Conversation then switched to motions. It was agreed between the lawyers and DRO that a LONG motion would be required to deal with the house, custody, and support. Next available date was May.

                        We left with the DRO and went down to book the May date. DRO and my lawyer were talking very casually about the case. I overheard them talking about incomes being very close. Wondered why we couldn't agree on Shared. DRO and my lawyer both commented on the high requests for support. They talked about the mediator, then he left.

                        My lawyer and I had a 20 minutes meeting. Lawyer told me that it did not go very well in terms of settling. He had hoped that we could have at least gotten the house put up for sale. I asked what our next steps should be. He said unless I wanted to increase my offer to settle which he didn't recommend. I would have to wait until the LONG motion. He said it would be unlikely that a judge would change what has been happening for the last year (50/50). Said a temp order for offset child support would most likely happen based on the resulting temporary custody/access arrangement. He also told me their is some risk of a temporary spousal support order. He told me that "need" isn't hard to prove but did say her requested amount would be highly unlikely. He said the house would most likely be ordered sold. He said he would go back and research the mediator and get back to me.

                        So all in all I was very disappointed with the day. Nothing got resolved, I have to continue to live with my ex until at least May.

                        When I got home from the meeting and saw my ex later that night she told me she told her lawyer she would not pay for the mediator and they were not going to do it. I emailed my lawyer telling him not to do any work in regards tot he mediator.

                        So now I am at a loss of what to do. Do we just wait until the long motion in May.

                        Thanks

                        Comment


                        • Keep the note. Scan it and save it if you can.

                          From there, just go about your day. She likely isn't too please with how things went as well. It is likely things will be uncomfortable the next month or two....it sucks, but we deal....

                          Just do what you are doing. Think of it as the light at the end of the tunnel.

                          Comment


                          • Originally posted by HammerDad View Post
                            Keep the note. Scan it and save it if you can.

                            From there, just go about your day. She likely isn't too please with how things went as well. It is likely things will be uncomfortable the next month or two....it sucks, but we deal....

                            Just do what you are doing. Think of it as the light at the end of the tunnel.
                            What note are you referring to?

                            I had a great trip with my kids last week and the break from the house was fantastic both for myself and the kids.

                            Comment

                            Our Divorce Forums
                            Forums dedicated to helping people all across Canada get through the separation and divorce process, with discussions about legal issues, parenting issues, financial issues and more.
                            Working...
                            X