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  • Ex refused SA centre

    I will try to be brief.

    Ex sexually abused our DD2 in 2013. CAS confirmed the abuse happened and judge in family court told ex he could only see her at supervised access centre. This was in June 2013. Ex never applied for the centre until February 2014.

    The criminal court happened and they weren't able to stick the charges.

    He has been bugging me to have DD every weekend and I have been telling him he can only use the centre.

    We finally had our intake interview in November and by then he made up his mind he didn't want to use it so our file was closed.

    He still has not seen her and has been threatening me with legal action ever since. However, my lawyer has yet to receive anything from his lawyer.

    What is the likely outcome of this mess?

  • #2
    Threats are meaningless. There is an order in place. He must obey they order.

    Why did the criminal charges fail?

    Comment


    • #3
      It is very complicated as to why the charges were dropped. Basically it was technicalities.
      I saw things and she told me things, but she was too young to be interviewed.

      I don't want to go into specific details to protect my identity.

      But the police and CAS are on my side

      Comment


      • #4
        Also wanted to add that in his threatening emails he is accusing me of parental alienation.

        This is crazy, right? How am I alienating her if he refused the intake process at the supervised access centre?

        Comment


        • #5
          How did investigation prove it and the criminal court didn't? We don't need details but thats something more serious than beating someone or many other nasty things. I would be suspicious of CAS report.

          On the other In case it was true. talk to specialists how to and what to tell the kid why her father cannot be in her life anymore because if it was true it is a monster to avoid.

          If his threats continue seek no contact order.
          Last edited by The Iceberg; 05-31-2015, 05:56 PM. Reason: spell

          Comment


          • #6
            Again, I can't answer your question without giving out too much personal information. I don't want to go into exact detail about what I saw and what she said.

            Can a CAS case be overturned or challenged? How would that work?

            And yes I see a therapist who gives me age appropriate answers for my daughter.

            Comment


            • #7
              CAS investigation is their opinion and it is upto the judge weather to use it or not. When CAS find something bad like what you are claiming, they go to court and present their evidence and seek appropriate action to be ordered as it seems to be the case in your situation.

              Nobody is asking you for details but having criminal charges dropped gives your ex weapon to use in family law court and challenge the cas report.

              We can't say much more. In criminal court you have to be guilty without any room left for the defendant to be innocent. Proof works there, that's why they call it innocent until proven guilty. Some things are hard to prove so thats why many criminals go free.

              In family law it works as probability. In your case the judge heard you, the cas report sided with you so the judge said it is probably true. But unlike criminal, family law issues can be endless and if your ex has the means, he can file motions.

              Comment


              • #8
                CAS is the most qualified, relied upon agency in our community. If they verified sexual abuse then your actions are justified regarding the supervision.

                He went to the interview for the SAC but backed out at the last second. And I will tell you right now don't blame him.

                Do you have a mutual person in your life that could facilitate the visit? Get out of that artificial environment perhaps?
                Which is probably why he backed out.

                If he was totally against it he wouldn't have even attended the interview.
                Last edited by LovingFather32; 05-31-2015, 11:55 PM.

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                • #9
                  CAS can be very bias and many complained about them on this forum.

                  Why is the father allowed to see the child he sexually assaulted and could have destroy her life, at all?

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I do understand how some people can find them biased. All I can say is they helped my daughter and I feel safe and I am very grateful for everything they have done.

                    Because it is a serious case two different judges (ex kept trying to get a different answer) made it clear that a centre is his only option due to the need of an unbiased neutral third party.

                    From my understanding the courts feel that a child needs a relationship with their father even if there has been abuse. This is why they use centres, so that they can provide as safe an experience as possible for the child.

                    I get that ex isn't happy about it, but it was made clear that this his only way to have a relationship with his daughter. It's sad because he could have developed a relationship by now, yet everything is my fault?

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by arabian View Post
                      ...There is an order in place. He must obey they order...
                      I agree with this.
                      If there is a current order in place, then he needs to follow it - until it's changed.

                      I find it strange, that no access has happened, if there is this order in place, to at least allow for that?

                      If I were the Dad, I would already have been utilizing the access provided, even under "supervised" access.

                      If I were the Dad, I would also seek to have the order changed now, since it sounds like, CAS's findings were unfounded.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Littlemommy View Post
                        judge in family court told ex he could only see her at supervised access centre.
                        Just to clarify, has the judge made an order that the ex is only permitted parenting time at a supervised access centre? I just want to clarify as there is a big difference between an order (which would be on paper) and a judges recommendation, even if made while sitting in court.

                        If there is an order providing that the ex only has parenting time at an access centre, than the ex must follow that order. If there isn't an order, just something the judge said "should" happen, then that is something different. You will need to do what you can to protect your child, but it may involve finding another means of supervision. Maybe starting at public places, or with relatives etc. and going from there.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          The order is a written order, signed by a judge.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Some men just hate the idea of a supervised centre. My wife has an order that her ex husband is to have supervised access at an access centre. She did the intake process he refused, that was 13 years ago and he has never tried to see the child again. He tried to have it changed in court (although he never accessed the supervised access) and judge told him no so he left and that was the end of his access tries. Occasionally he has written to my wife blaming her but has never made attempts to change.

                            If you have an order and he isn't using it, leave it at that. If it becomes important enough to him he will use the supervised and prove that he should have unsupervised. The onus is on him not you.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Littlemommy View Post
                              The order is a written order, signed by a judge.
                              Then the ex has to abide by or file a motion to have it changed.

                              For the sake of your child and their relationship with your ex, I may suggest that you be accommodating where you can, even if in the most minimal of ways. I don't mean allow unsupervised parenting time, but you could consider providing the ex parenting time on the condition that you, a member of your family or a member of their family (whom you reasonably trust) be there as well. Don't call it supervision, but call it attendance. It is essentially supervision, but given that the ex obviously has issues with the fact that they must be supervised, you change up the language but say the same thing. If they still won't play ball for the sake of their child, well ..... you can't fix stupid.

                              Comment

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