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    So for the first time the no internet issue my ex complains about has affected my son.

    He had a rather large assignment for school due today. I saw it last Wednesday and Thursday and helped him start the project. We spent about an hour over the two days researching and completing some of the tasks.

    Last night while at work I got a voicemail from my ex stating that she doesn't have internet and I need to do some things when she drops him off to me in the morning (Today). He gets dropped off at 7:30 and is picked up by the sitter to walk him to school at 8:00.

    She had asked me to print a picture which is totally fine and I was ok with that. However he had significant research he had to do and questions to answer. My son frequently requires the internet while with me for many assignments and other tasks that he is required to complete for school

    I'm not sure what she was thinking or doing but there was certainly ample opportunity to take him to the library on the weekend to complete his school work if he did require the internet for research. The Library is in the same building as the hockey rink which we were at twice this weekend for the kids hockey.

    I know it's only one assignment and not a HUGE deal but this whole internet issue keeps coming up. She refuses to use the free resources available to her.

    I feel I need to address this issue with her specifically in regards to the kids homework. I get that not everyone can afford internet but if she can't she really needs to use what tools that are available.

    What are you thoughts? Leave it alone... Send a polite email..Mind my own F*ing business.

    Thanks

  • #2
    From the sounds of her, she'll react negatively to any suggestions coming from you. No internet is definitely an issue if your son isn't completing his assignments for school. As he gets older, he'll just have more and more homework requiring the net.

    Do you have a relationship with his teacher? I would discuss it with him/her and perhaps the teacher can make a phone call to her to discuss your son not having his homework done. Maybe if the library internet suggestion comes from the teacher, she'll be more likely to take it and pursue that?

    Comment


    • #3
      I forget how old your son is, but would it be possible for him to voice his concern to Mom and maybe for you to spend some extra time with him to complete the homework?

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      • #4
        Originally posted by Berner_Faith View Post
        I forget how old your son is, but would it be possible for him to voice his concern to Mom and maybe for you to spend some extra time with him to complete the homework?
        He is 8 and in grade 3. It was certainly not a lot of research but was required.

        Comment


        • #5
          I think you're overreacting a little bit.

          My daughter (12) grade 7 has a class where the textbook is completely online. The teacher allows her to use a hard textbook. We have no internet at the house and for a long time I had no car to take them anywhere like the library or where free access would be.

          If mom talked to the school about it I'm sure other arrangements can be made especially since this is only grade 3. The student could have been given time to research at school during recess.

          I think this is her responsibility to talk to the school to make other arrangements for the child. If the child has access to internet at your house but not hers I think its for the best interest of your child to help out. I don't see this as a big deal at all.
          Last edited by SadAndTired; 02-24-2014, 05:02 PM.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by SadAndTired View Post
            I think you're overreacting a little bit.

            My daughter (12) grade 7 has a class where the textbook is completely online. The teacher allows her to use a hard textbook. We have no internet at the house and for a long time I had no car to take them anywhere like the library or where free access would be.

            If mom talked to the school about it I'm sure other arrangements can be made especially since this is only grade 3. The student could have been given time to research at school during recess.

            I think this is her responsibility to talk to the school to make other arrangements for the child. If the child has access to internet at your house but not hers I think its for the best interest of your child to help out. I don't see this as a big deal at all.
            I agree but giving me 30 minutes on Monday morning to help out was not an acceptable solution. I would have certainly allowed him over on the weekend to do what he needed to do.

            In the grand scheme of things it's a small issue... It's just frustrating that she would rather have it not done than to try and problem solve a solution, although it shouldn't surprise me.

            Comment


            • #7
              Child Support is for internet

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              • #8
                Originally posted by Links17 View Post
                Child Support is for internet
                CS is for,the child, but it does not actually specify internet as a set item to purchase with CS. That is too broad a statement . We do not know if Mom has a computer, without which the internet is useless. Also we do not know Moms personal finances, whether the cost of a computer, virus checkers, software and update, plus ink and paper for the printer are within her budget.

                However, next time Dad, perhaps you can ask your son if he has any homework that requires research and remind him that he needs to do it while at your house, and not wait until he gets back to Moms and then cannot complete it.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Beachnana View Post
                  CS is for,the child, but it does not actually specify internet as a set item to purchase with CS. That is too broad a statement . We do not know if Mom has a computer, without which the internet is useless. Also we do not know Moms personal finances, whether the cost of a computer, virus checkers, software and update, plus ink and paper for the printer are within her budget.

                  However, next time Dad, perhaps you can ask your son if he has any homework that requires research and remind him that he needs to do it while at your house, and not wait until he gets back to Moms and then cannot complete it.
                  totally agree with you. CS should cover food, clothing and shelter first. Then after that comes the extras like pizza day at school etc etc. I think the internet would be way down the list.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    The OP's ex has a big issue with refusing to use the internet - she claims she has no access to it so she has to text and call the OP instead, and thereby create maximum drama. So even if she won the lottery, she probably wouldn't use the internet because she's invested so much time and energy in insisting that it's impossible for her to do so.

                    Personally, I am not crazy about the idea of grade 3 homework requiring internet. Kids spend too much time staring at screens already - I would rather see them relying on something else instead of a computer to learn. However, if the teacher requires it, you may want to talk to the teacher and see if your kid can use the computers at school.

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                    • #11
                      Just to throw in my 2 cents - I think this is just an excuse for your ex to interact with you. From what you have posted before, she has displayed a pattern of wanting your attention. One example was when she would call you repeatedly at work. She might have figured out that the only way to stay connected with you is through the children and their activities (school, for example).

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Beachnana View Post
                        However, next time Dad, perhaps you can ask your son if he has any homework that requires research and remind him that he needs to do it while at your house, and not wait until he gets back to Moms and then cannot complete it.
                        Yep, I think you should leave the mom out of it, and get the kid used to the idea that any homework he has that requires the internet, he has to plan to do it at your house.

                        Document it each time her lack of internet interferes with his schooling though, just in case there's a pattern of her ignoring his school needs that you have to do something about some day.

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                        • #13
                          I feel that you are over reacting a little. If this is a pattern then I would be concerned.

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                          • #14
                            Problem is that sooner or later your child will need the internet - your Ex can't avoid the issue for ever. I wonder if her reasons are financial or if she truly believes that using a computer is a negative thing in this day and age?

                            There are programs that can be installed on a pc that make age-inappropriate surfing impossible if she does not want to 'police' his usage on it. It's not essential but .... really how can he keep up with his peers without one?

                            Perhaps offer to get him an inexpensive laptop and you could split the internet cost 50/50? The kid would be pleased for sure!

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Janibel View Post
                              Problem is that sooner or later your child will need the internet - your Ex can't avoid the issue for ever. I wonder if her reasons are financial or if she truly believes that using a computer is a negative thing in this day and age?
                              If she holds out long enough, the kids are going to start whining more or spending more time at their father's home.

                              I suspect her reasons are mainly that having email means fewer excuses to call up FB_.

                              Comment

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