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  • #16
    Maybe, you should be looking what CS would cost you. Technically,it seems to me you are paying CS and
    S7or the equivalent of it.

    If he is living at MOM place, how was the rent amt determine. As for CS, it would be determined base on your hubby salary and guideline table.
    check MySupportCalculator.ca

    As for other expenses, only S7 would count and divided in proportion of the ex and your hubby's income.

    If you are paying more than that then it would be easy to give a reality check to the mother by sending her what exactly your share is. if your amount is less then there is nothing to complaint about.

    Comment


    • #17
      Well my ex husband reported me to CRA and they audited and reviewed me. My ex husband wasted CRA's time so I disagree with HammerHead's comment because CRA did not tell my ex husband to go away. There has to be a good reason to report someone and there is an address you can mail information into and an anonymous tip line.

      In so many words, CRA will not tell someone to go away because they don't want to be involved with the nuttiness.

      Comment


      • #18
        Just curious, since you are saying that you are not paying CS or SS, then to who are you paying these expenses to.

        If you are paying directly the son then this would mean the arrangement is between the son and the father only.

        Comment


        • #19
          Originally posted by Moolight View Post
          Maybe, you should be looking what CS would cost you. Technically,it seems to me you are paying CS and
          S7or the equivalent of it.

          If he is living at MOM place, how was the rent amt determine. As for CS, it would be determined base on your hubby salary and guideline table.
          check MySupportCalculator.ca

          As for other expenses, only S7 would count and divided in proportion of the ex and your hubby's income.

          If you are paying more than that then it would be easy to give a reality check to the mother by sending her what exactly your share is. if your amount is less then there is nothing to complaint about.
          Son has cc for everything he needs food, clothes, expenses. Tuition husband pays. cc covers books and school expenses. Dental and optical paid by my husband. the mom has not paid and does not pay a dime for her son.
          Son lived with us in our new home but could not handle the city to country change as well as now living in a house with 2 young children. He then moved to his moms till school started then he was going to do residence. Residence didnt happen and as soon as school started mom demanded rent in the amount of $350 and she would go away. Actually she said "its a small price to pay for you to get rid of me". She received the first payment then demanded the new amount of $500. We had written 6 months of cheques for $350 and were not going to increase it. She has then escalated the harassment to questions about money, provisions in will for son, taxes, if I have a life estate on our purchased house, life insurance etc. All accompanied by insults and ugliness attack my husband children and myself.
          I assume we will be getting contacted shortly by the CRA.
          The mom has done everything possible to alienate son from father. And the relationship is suffering. Which in turn my husband is suffering as well. 2 more years is going to be a long haul. And I dont know what relationships are ging to be in the end but I know it is ugly and painful.
          Last edited by thebtr1; 01-06-2013, 05:18 PM. Reason: left out something

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          • #20
            CRA will not contact as he was living with you when husband claimed him. Now at his age, you can only claimed his tuition and book and if you are paying for them, make sure you have the receipt and it will be fine.

            My ex also claim one of my child and that did not go anywhere as he was not living with ex.

            Face it, you would be paying CS who depend on your hubby salary would be higher or lower. Children can remain on extended health benefit till 21 while in school and there is also plans available to student.

            So really, I do not see the big deal here, If you prefer you could just pay the equivalent of CS and she would not be able to claim any rent or harrass you for any increase as this would cover it. 2 years will go by fast, average litigation last longer than that and would cost you.

            At that age a child will respect you to not get involve and let your hubby deal with it. At 19, he is old enough to judge for himself and basically if you were paying for school residence, it would be much higher than that and there are not tax deductible.

            Comment


            • #21
              Originally posted by Moolight View Post
              CRA will not contact as he was living with you when husband claimed him. Now at his age, you can only claimed his tuition and book and if you are paying for them, make sure you have the receipt and it will be fine.

              My ex also claim one of my child and that did not go anywhere as he was not living with ex.

              Face it, you would be paying CS who depend on your hubby salary would be higher or lower. Children can remain on extended health benefit till 21 while in school and there is also plans available to student.

              So really, I do not see the big deal here, If you prefer you could just pay the equivalent of CS and she would not be able to claim any rent or harrass you for any increase as this would cover it. 2 years will go by fast, average litigation last longer than that and would cost you.

              At that age a child will respect you to not get involve and let your hubby deal with it. At 19, he is old enough to judge for himself and basically if you were paying for school residence, it would be much higher than that and there are not tax deductible.

              Not sure your getting the point. We are not thinking of going to court at all we pay everything the son needs the mother pays nothing! NOTHING! Yet she threatens to take us to court everytime she has a tantrum. She has emailed us saying she is monitoring our financials as well as pictures and interviews being collected on our family. Or threatens to call CRA. She is every which way crazy. She is harassing constantly and interfering with my husband and his sons relationship. At 19 he is not a child. As for paying residence we have RESP for that and his mother wouldnt be benefitting from her SON living in her house or have any reason to contact my husband. The day the son moves to residence will be a welcome change.

              Comment


              • #22
                I tend to agree with Moonlight...because the son is living with Mom, Dad should technically be paying full CS and his share of post secondary. You really need to figure out the math in it all. Until you figure out the math or provide figured (Dad's income and any section 7 expenses), there is little advice that can be offered.

                $350 a month is what someone with an annual salary around $40,000 would pay...if hubby's income is higher than that, consider yourself lucky. For section 7, they are paid according to income, if Hubby's income is substantially higher than Mom's, he would still have to pay the majority of the bills...

                Cost vs outcome...

                Comment


                • #23
                  I do exactly but I do beleive you have to come down to reality.

                  You say that you have RESP - that covers S7 expenses for son, that is why you got it in the first place.

                  Son living with Mother - She is entitle to go after father for CS - so basically the rent. I bet you if you look at the guideline, it would be a lot higher than the rent.

                  Basically - to be direct -- you are complaining for nothing, do not put water over the fire.

                  Son could take living with you and went living with MOM, stop complaining about the ordeal of rent as basically, you would pay more if you were to pay CS. If you guys are not happy, why don't you just pay him an appartment, that would solve everything.

                  You may not want to go to court but she could easily do for CS without a problem. That is my point and that would cost you a lot more.

                  As for her harassment, if you keep cool and ignore it, she will get tire of it and eventually stop.
                  Last edited by Moolight; 01-06-2013, 06:54 PM.

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Ignore it

                    I agree with Moonlight or ask her to take you into Court for change of Child Support. There is a material change in that the son is now going to school.

                    When I get harassing or demonstrate bad behaviour, my ex just sends it off to his lawyer andI look like a total idiot. You could probably do that as well or get a lawyer to send a strongly worded letter stating that they are now dealing with the issue and she is to have no further communication with you or your ex husband.

                    However, with child support coming to an end and if she put her own career on hold, she may try coming after your ex for spousal support - just a thought.

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      Originally posted by Moolight View Post
                      I do exactly but I do beleive you have to come down to reality.

                      You say that you have RESP - that covers S7 expenses for son, that is why you got it in the first place.

                      Son living with Mother - She is entitle to go after father for CS - so basically the rent. I bet you if you look at the guideline, it would be a lot higher than the rent.

                      Basically - to be direct -- you are complaining for nothing, do not put water over the fire.

                      Son could take living with you and went living with MOM, stop complaining about the ordeal of rent as basically, you would pay more if you were to pay CS. If you guys are not happy, why don't you just pay him an appartment, that would solve everything.

                      You may not want to go to court but she could easily do for CS without a problem. That is my point and that would cost you a lot more.

                      As for her harassment, if you keep cool and ignore it, she will get tire of it and eventually stop.

                      Dad pays all post secondary. Dad pays for the sons groceries. THE MOTHER PAYS FOR NOTHING!! She never paid anything even when the son was living solely with his father. My husbands annual salary is around $50,000 the mother hasent filed a tax return in 3 years but is in real estate so I will give her a $30000 income which is reasonable.
                      Husband paid $8000 in tutition so far several hundred in books he buys groceries every week and clothes when he needs them. He pays for the cell phone bill dental every 6 months and eye glasses. On top of all that he pays her rent! And you think shes entitled to it? If she did take us to court I was curious what she could possibly get. From what I see what she would get is she would end up having to pay half of childs expenses and we would just have to pay half and rent.
                      As for not responding to the harassment we havent replied in 8 months and it has just gotten worse.
                      If she files for taxes for the last 3 years and claims the son I want to be sure my husband isnt going to be penalized. And as for this years taxes he will claim the tuition and books.

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        We get that she has paid NOTHING... but that is at the fault of your husband for paying EVERYTHING and NOT making her contribute. With a $50K salary, he should be paying her $450 a month in CS... if he made an agreement with HIS son to provide him a credit card for HIS personal use that has nothing to do with Mom, or you for that matter.

                        If this went to court, it would be expected that hubby pays full CS in the amount of $450 per month, plus about 63% of post secondary expenses (50K+30K= $50K, so hubby's income at 50K would be 63%), plus you have to factor in what it would cost if this did go to court and how this would impact the relationship with his son.

                        Personally, at 19 there is NO reason the son does not have a job to help with his school and clothing/personal costs.

                        I truly feel you are making a mountain out of a mole hill... currently hubby is under paying CS, but over paying section 7. Hubby can simply respond that if she would like an increase in the "rent" (CS), she will have to contribute her share of post secondary costs.

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          Originally posted by atlanticcanadian View Post
                          I agree with Moonlight or ask her to take you into Court for change of Child Support. There is a material change in that the son is now going to school.

                          When I get harassing or demonstrate bad behaviour, my ex just sends it off to his lawyer andI look like a total idiot. You could probably do that as well or get a lawyer to send a strongly worded letter stating that they are now dealing with the issue and she is to have no further communication with you or your ex husband.

                          However, with child support coming to an end and if she put her own career on hold, she may try coming after your ex for spousal support - just a thought.

                          They have been divorced for 10 years. She got 1/2 the house and a settlement in lieu of SS she is not entitled to it.

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            You are too emotionally involved to see it clear.

                            Be carefull of not putting this child in the middle, at 19 with 10 years of divorce parent, he must be fed up of all this.

                            Your hubby decide to pay for all son expenses prior he even went to live with MOM.

                            So what the heck is the problem, paying her rent of residence, what is the difference? At least someone is benefiting. Why create a war where there is no reason for it.

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              That is what I am not understanding as well Moonlight... Dad was okay for paying everything for son, until he moved in with mom? He is paying Mom rent (CS), instead of paying rent to another landlord or for residence... why the big deal now? If Dad has been okay all along, why all the sudden does he want to renege on the agreement he had with son, just because he is living with mom?

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                Originally posted by Berner_Faith View Post
                                That is what I am not understanding as well Moonlight... Dad was okay for paying everything for son, until he moved in with mom? He is paying Mom rent (CS), instead of paying rent to another landlord or for residence... why the big deal now? If Dad has been okay all along, why all the sudden does he want to renege on the agreement he had with son, just because he is living with mom?
                                I never said he wanted to stop paying. The difference is he pays and has always paid and now she is harrassing and threatening and demanding more because he is with me and happy. She will not stop. She has been sent cease and desist letter we have not replied to her in 8 months. She continues to threaten litigation and harass incessantly. If it went to litigation I was only asking what could she possibly get. And if it went to litigation my husband would then only pay what he has to and make her see how good it was before.

                                Its not at all about shirking responsibility. My husband has went above and beyond for 10 years. And yet every time we turn around she demands more. At what point do we say enough is enough?

                                I was also wondering what are we required to tell her? The info she is asking for such as tax information, life insurance, will info and whether I have a life estate in our property isnt info we should have to disclose correct?

                                Comment

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