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  • #16
    Originally posted by Mike62 View Post
    FightingForFamily: .

    In light of the length of our marriage the spousal support will likely be life-long for me. I accept the likelihood of it.

    Mind you, I also know attitudes can change. So I appreciate the wish of good luck.
    Not necessarily. Spousal support is not automatic, even in long-term marriages - the spouse who wishes to receive it has to make a case for his/her entitlement. (For instance, I came out of a 20-year marriage and am the higher earner, but spousal support was not even a question in my divorce, because it was clear that my ex did not have grounds to argue for it).

    Typically, spouses who can make a good argument that they sacrificed their own earning potential in order to enhance the other person's (for instance, if one spouse switched jobs or gave up opportunities so that the other spouse could advance, or if one spouse stayed home with the kids to enable the other spouse to work full time outside the home) may have a case for spousal support. The same is true for spouse who worked (unpaid) for family businesses or contributed in other ways to their spouse's financial success.

    In your case, if your wife is employed full-time and has good prospects coming out of the marriage, she may not be able to claim that she is entitled to compensation for sacrifices she made during the marriage.

    In any case, spousal support can be negotiated. it doesn't have to be a lifetime commitment. I would recommend not opening up the issue of spousal support. If your ex brings it up, consider what you think would be fair - a time-limited monthly payment, a lump sum, a "step-down" arrangement in which the amount is gradually reduced over time to enable the receiving spouse to transition to financial independence. There are all kinds of ways to structure spousal support - there are no firm guidelines like there are for child support.

    The decent thing to do is to ensure that you and your spouse come out of the marriage on a roughly equal footing for life after marriage, but that doesn't mean you need to support her financially for the rest of her life, and it doesn't mean she is entitled to the same standard of living you enjoyed during marriage (both of you are going to be looking at a reduced standard of living because there are now two households being supported by the income which used to support one).

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    • #17
      Awesome feedback! In just a few days I've learned a fair amount from reading contributions and receiving feedback to my posts.

      I thought spousal support was a given. So thank you for the comments.

      My wife maintains that she made career sacrifices in the early years of our marriage - 20 years ago. Yet, it was me who made a career shift a decade ago so she could advance in her profession.

      Your final comment about the decent thing to do is my approach to the separation.

      Thanks again!

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      • #18
        Honestly for many cases spousal support is a given IF the parties end up in court. Outside of court there is a lot more wiggle room. Spending tens of thousands in legal costs to either get or avoid spousal support is a losing proposition.

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        • #19
          Spousal support is not a given. In your case a few things you need to consider.
          1. Boston vs Boston - double dipping pension ; if you split your pension with her THEN give her SS out of your half of pension that isn't fair

          2. Show you made sacrifices also which are equivalent

          3. The difference in salary is not huge.

          I don't think there are grounds for SS given that you are splitting your pension. She also doesn't HAVE to retire next year, its her option (and her personal life choice) which you do not have to be responsible for assuming she is healthy etc....

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          • #20
            Oh! I didn't know that about double-dipping. And, my spouse is healthy.

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            • #21
              Boston v. Boston - SCC Cases (Lexum)

              this is the landmark decision

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              • #22
                Decision was an interesting read. Thank you.

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                • #23
                  Great site... My Story

                  << deleted my post >>
                  Last edited by James Grinsol; 01-14-2015, 02:40 AM. Reason: I meant to start a new thread

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