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Hello, everyone.
I'm new.
My husband and I had been about to celebrate our 15th wedding anniversary when I asked him - after several months of seeing signs and a past history of marital issues (though no infidelity or physical abuse) - if he wanted out. He said yes. I made the mistake, perhaps, of telling him that I had already come to the decision that if he answered that question with "I want to end it" I would let him go. I also told him that if he had answered with "I want to stay and work on it" I would have rededicated myself to our marriage. Because I had already come to an agreement on how I wanted to proceed, he says I brought it up and so I was the one that ended it...and that it became "our" decision. I told him, how was I supposed to know what he wanted without asking.
Several years ago he told me that he didn't feel that he loved me and didn't think he ever had. We have been working on ourselves since then, though not really as a couple. We've never really been a couple - an "us" in the true spirit of marriage. We've always been two people playing house. There were many indicators to me that he didn't really love me. He liked me, yes, and we have always been and will continue to be friends, but the affection and love and TLC that I should have been in the marriage from him (there was from me) was never there.
He fulfilled his obligations to looking after his children very well.
Anyway...we're at the separation phase and I just wanted to get connected with others and get others' opinions on things.
We've been very open about our feelings and desires on virtually everything - from going forward with the divorce in the first place to who will get custody and child support payments. There are really no disputes and having read some of the accounts of others, I'm really glad that things are amicable between us and will continue to be that way.
He is currently still living with us because his income covers the house and there is not enough left over for him to have an apartment separate from us, and I don't make enough as a work-at-home mom to cover the payments.
Looking forward to chatting with you all.
DJ
I'm new.
My husband and I had been about to celebrate our 15th wedding anniversary when I asked him - after several months of seeing signs and a past history of marital issues (though no infidelity or physical abuse) - if he wanted out. He said yes. I made the mistake, perhaps, of telling him that I had already come to the decision that if he answered that question with "I want to end it" I would let him go. I also told him that if he had answered with "I want to stay and work on it" I would have rededicated myself to our marriage. Because I had already come to an agreement on how I wanted to proceed, he says I brought it up and so I was the one that ended it...and that it became "our" decision. I told him, how was I supposed to know what he wanted without asking.
Several years ago he told me that he didn't feel that he loved me and didn't think he ever had. We have been working on ourselves since then, though not really as a couple. We've never really been a couple - an "us" in the true spirit of marriage. We've always been two people playing house. There were many indicators to me that he didn't really love me. He liked me, yes, and we have always been and will continue to be friends, but the affection and love and TLC that I should have been in the marriage from him (there was from me) was never there.
He fulfilled his obligations to looking after his children very well.
Anyway...we're at the separation phase and I just wanted to get connected with others and get others' opinions on things.
We've been very open about our feelings and desires on virtually everything - from going forward with the divorce in the first place to who will get custody and child support payments. There are really no disputes and having read some of the accounts of others, I'm really glad that things are amicable between us and will continue to be that way.
He is currently still living with us because his income covers the house and there is not enough left over for him to have an apartment separate from us, and I don't make enough as a work-at-home mom to cover the payments.
Looking forward to chatting with you all.
DJ