Good afternoon everyone,
I always appreciate all the help and assistance I get here, I have another question for the group;
We finished court 3 years ago, things were pretty bad and we had to do a bilateral assessment. The mother was found to be the more unfriendly parent, it listed some issues such as interpersonal issues, abusive emails etc etc but it also said very clearly that if she keeps up the behaviour that custody should be switched. Most importantly, it highlighted a move to an equitable child sharing schedule.
I was advised to wait until our child was 7 before asking for more time(currently every second weekend Friday afternoon to Monday morning with one Wednesday overnight, the wednesday overnight has been in place for approximately 1 year)
I would like to move to a 5/9 split, with pickups/dropoffs at school.
Heres the issue - the interpersonal disorders/behaviour.....Im worried shes going to come off the rails with this request, so I wanted to posit a few questions to the board before I initiate this discussion;
1)is 5/9 reasonable? I understand the meaning of the word 'equitable' but in this context Im not sure if what Im asking for is appropriate, or should I be asking for 50/50?
2)In the event we end up back in court, I have never missed a visit without giving her due notice and arranging for make up time wherever possible, I have paid all child support/section 7s and even a few more items such as notarizing costs for letters to travel.
3)She has bent some rules, for instance we are supposed to use email however she keeps texting even though it clearly states in our court order that text is to be used in emergency only. Ive sent multiple emails to her requesting use of email but she doesnt stop (we do use it sometimes but it seems text is her preferred method of communication) Also have some pics of prescriptions from within the past few months where she is not using the childs legal last name, an email where she was attempting to pressure me into use of my time for camp and some other odds and ends that are not in line with the court order/law. She was showing up at at school to drop his backpack off when I was dropping him off at the same time, however this has largely been rectified (not sure I could prove it really either)
4)One of the things I think is appropriate for the child is to be with me more because I live on my own and hold a job, Im not sure its good role modelling to be living with your parents at 38 (never moved out of the house and she also has a 14 year old), and I think its time he started seeing more and more what society expects in an adult.
Can anyone shed some light on this for me or some advice as to how to go about this? I really dont want to go back to court since I was already in it for 3.5 years but I would like to have more time with my son which was recommended in the bilateral assessment, Im just somewhat confused about the term 'equitable' since its quite vague.
Thanks in advance everyone,
I always appreciate all the help and assistance I get here, I have another question for the group;
We finished court 3 years ago, things were pretty bad and we had to do a bilateral assessment. The mother was found to be the more unfriendly parent, it listed some issues such as interpersonal issues, abusive emails etc etc but it also said very clearly that if she keeps up the behaviour that custody should be switched. Most importantly, it highlighted a move to an equitable child sharing schedule.
I was advised to wait until our child was 7 before asking for more time(currently every second weekend Friday afternoon to Monday morning with one Wednesday overnight, the wednesday overnight has been in place for approximately 1 year)
I would like to move to a 5/9 split, with pickups/dropoffs at school.
Heres the issue - the interpersonal disorders/behaviour.....Im worried shes going to come off the rails with this request, so I wanted to posit a few questions to the board before I initiate this discussion;
1)is 5/9 reasonable? I understand the meaning of the word 'equitable' but in this context Im not sure if what Im asking for is appropriate, or should I be asking for 50/50?
2)In the event we end up back in court, I have never missed a visit without giving her due notice and arranging for make up time wherever possible, I have paid all child support/section 7s and even a few more items such as notarizing costs for letters to travel.
3)She has bent some rules, for instance we are supposed to use email however she keeps texting even though it clearly states in our court order that text is to be used in emergency only. Ive sent multiple emails to her requesting use of email but she doesnt stop (we do use it sometimes but it seems text is her preferred method of communication) Also have some pics of prescriptions from within the past few months where she is not using the childs legal last name, an email where she was attempting to pressure me into use of my time for camp and some other odds and ends that are not in line with the court order/law. She was showing up at at school to drop his backpack off when I was dropping him off at the same time, however this has largely been rectified (not sure I could prove it really either)
4)One of the things I think is appropriate for the child is to be with me more because I live on my own and hold a job, Im not sure its good role modelling to be living with your parents at 38 (never moved out of the house and she also has a 14 year old), and I think its time he started seeing more and more what society expects in an adult.
Can anyone shed some light on this for me or some advice as to how to go about this? I really dont want to go back to court since I was already in it for 3.5 years but I would like to have more time with my son which was recommended in the bilateral assessment, Im just somewhat confused about the term 'equitable' since its quite vague.
Thanks in advance everyone,
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