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  • #31
    Thanks for this post Billiechic!
    I have been taking Imovane (sleeping pill) every night since my seperation in 2004. Can't sleep without them.
    I have alot of problems dwelling on things. I go over things again and again in my head, until I have exhausted every scenario, real or imagined. I try to think of every little problem, and find its solution.
    I think because I have to be "prepared" so as not to get blindsided emotionally, financially....etc......
    I have been on Effexor, and Wellbutrin....I gained weight on Effexor and also had some sexual disfunction, which apparently is common. So my Dr. put me on Wellbutrin.....which is not near as effective, but no weight gain or disfunction....BUT......made my insomnia worse.....
    So I am going it alone for now......I am slowing improving....still can't sleep without drugs....and I have trouble maintaining "happiness" for any length of time........
    My Dr. said some people have huge side effects from anti-depressants....I guess I am one of them.
    I am sensitive to all medications actually.....She asked me if I can take cold medicine...I said no......makes me wacko.......she said they go hand in hand as far as intolerance goes...
    I am happy for all of you who can take them sucessfully......keep it up......

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    • #32
      One thing my doc suggested for me for occasional insomnia...benedryl. It works too, (most days, unless my mind is whirring around work) without the worry of side effects.

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      • #33
        Cistead, My sister has the same problem with cold medication. I can only imagine the struggles you've gone through with the sideeffects. But i'm glad that you're still working on it!

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        • #34
          Hi everyone...We are just starting the negotiation process for our separation/divorce. My ex (soon to be ex husband) has agreed on a buyout price (I'm taking substantially less just to get out and don't want to fight anymore) and we've agreed we'll have joint custody of the children. I moved out Jan.1...I just found he has a file with prescriptions I've had for effexor (anxiety) and a 2 week supply of seroquel that the dr. subscribed to help me sleep right before I had moved out because I was so stressed about the separation. Can this be used against me in the courts as far as the divorce/children are concerned ? Thanks...

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          • #35
            Noooo, of course not. Just because you are taking medications for depression and sleep, it does not mean that you are incapable or unfit and in no way would it reflect on you negatively. If your ex even tried to make an issue out of it, I'm quite sure that the judge is going to be like "so what if she takes meds, it's irrelevant". In some respects it might actually help your apprearance of "durability" as it's going to be evident that you're on meds that will make you stronger and better able to cope. This is not a bad thing.

            I was on all kinds of meds for sleep and depression, it's a non factor.

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            • #36
              Agreed, I doubt it has little weight on your ability to parent at all. I would rather take meds to cope and slepp then not cope and suffer and reduce my abilty to parent and make good choices.

              Good Luck!

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              • #37
                For those people who are anti-drugs...like me. I recommend a couple things to help with divorce anxiety...1) working out (especially weight training) 2) trying healthier foods. I just started incorporating vegan choices into my diet...I'm a vegetarian now...and man, what a difference. A book called "The Kind Diet" by Alicia Silverstone could help get you started.

                Working out helps tons too...helps a lot with sleeping too if you're having trouble with that.

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                • #38
                  Originally posted by Pursuinghappiness View Post
                  For those people who are anti-drugs...like me. I recommend a couple things to help with divorce anxiety...1) working out (especially weight training) 2) trying healthier foods. I just started incorporating vegan choices into my diet...I'm a vegetarian now...and man, what a difference. A book called "The Kind Diet" by Alicia Silverstone could help get you started.

                  Working out helps tons too...helps a lot with sleeping too if you're having trouble with that.
                  I'd like to add some further two cents. I won't disagree with your comments but would like to add that your suggestions are totally valid even if someone is on medication. Exercise, diet and stress reduction are key components to any treatment to depression, anxiety and sleep disorders regardless if someone is taking medicine or not

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                  • #39
                    Thanks everyone-I agree that you can be a stable/normal parent on meds if needed to help get through the stress of a separation/divorce. I am definitely...
                    Has anyone heard of or experienced a situation in court or family court where a spouse/partner has brought up the medication and tried to use that towards his / her benefit and what the outcome was ?

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                    • #40
                      Originally posted by May_May View Post
                      Thanks everyone-I agree that you can be a stable/normal parent on meds if needed to help get through the stress of a separation/divorce. I am definitely...
                      Has anyone heard of or experienced a situation in court or family court where a spouse/partner has brought up the medication and tried to use that towards his / her benefit and what the outcome was ?
                      I'm not aware of any cases. I'd imagine that it would be best (from either side of the fence) as being a non-issue, unless the person taking the meds is using that as "evidence" of past "trauma" that they've gone through with their spouse to backup some argument, but I'd think that would be sketchy as I'd imagine it would be next to impossible to prove in court what caused the depression. How would you imagine that someone could use the fact that they're on meds to their benefit?

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                      • #41
                        I found some photocopies of prescriptions, and the history that gets included from Shoppers Drug mart for past prescriptions in a file he is keeping. Any time I've been to the doctor (which is why I was given the anxiety meds/sleeping) is all related to my ex husband (soon to be ex) and marital stress. Wasn't sure if he could use this against me for his benefit for determining custody of the children and for him to end up with full-time custody if he pursued (I want to do 50/50-joint as I truly believe both parents should be able to see their children as often as each other), or if it would impact the financial settlement (I've always worked while he was unemployed) of the house. I do not want either of us going after each other for spousal support, RRSPs etc...Just settle on the house value and I'm taking less just to get out...).

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                        • #42
                          Originally posted by May_May View Post
                          I found some photocopies of prescriptions, and the history that gets included from Shoppers Drug mart for past prescriptions in a file he is keeping. Any time I've been to the doctor (which is why I was given the anxiety meds/sleeping) is all related to my ex husband (soon to be ex) and marital stress. Wasn't sure if he could use this against me for his benefit for determining custody of the children and for him to end up with full-time custody if he pursued (I want to do 50/50-joint as I truly believe both parents should be able to see their children as often as each other), or if it would impact the financial settlement (I've always worked while he was unemployed) of the house. I do not want either of us going after each other for spousal support, RRSPs etc...Just settle on the house value and I'm taking less just to get out...).
                          Again - no - I cannot believe that there would be any relevance towards your ability to parent. Taking prescriptions for depression doesn't make you unfit just as it wouldn't if you were taking medicine for high blood pressure or any other condition. I believe that even if he had Perry Mason for a lawyer, that they wouldn't be able to make any causuality at all between your medical condition and your ability to parent, because there is none. I honestly don't think that you have anything to worry about.

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                          • #43
                            Thank you kindly to everyone...the quick responses has put me at ease ! Now if someone has any secrets to negotiating with a stubborn Greek man please let me know ! ha-I will take any tips available...
                            Cheers...Wishing everyone the best during these terrible situations...

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                            • #44
                              Originally posted by May_May View Post
                              Thank you kindly to everyone...the quick responses has put me at ease ! Now if someone has any secrets to negotiating with a stubborn Greek man please let me know ! ha-I will take any tips available...
                              Cheers...Wishing everyone the best during these terrible situations...
                              Glad to help. My only tip - and this is something that I tell myself - is that I have to understand that there will have to be give and take, and it will probably be necessary for me to give up more than I should - within reason. In the long run, I deem that to be a better solution than to have something dragging on endlessly. One last tip - and I know that this sounds trite, but always keep the focus on the wellbeing of the kids. It's not easy to do sometimes. I tend to start getting into situations where I might be getting stubborn because of my pride, and then I remember what is REALLY at stake here....

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                              • #45
                                Zoloft

                                I have an anxiety disorder anyway but before separation/divorce, I could handle it quite well and after treatment years ago. Well now with the divorce/separation and him lying all the time, I am taking Zoloft again. It is starting to work because I already went and did one temp job and I started dating again and I definitely don't seem obsessed.

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