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  • #46
    Originally posted by FB_ View Post

    So lets say her lawyer does contact me I am required to even respond? Should I respond?

    Thanks

    FB

    ps I guess my offset CS will go up next year as she's not earning full wages...
    I would think an appropriate response to a lawyer letter might be along the lines of: "Thank you for presenting your client's wishes concerning texting. I do not concur and I believe email is adequate for any necessary communication, for reasons which I have expressed to your client. I will not discuss this subject further. Sincerely ....".

    Your ex just wants to get you engaged and responsive to her by arguing over email vs text. She has repeatedly abused the power of texting by using it to act crazy rather than to convey information necessary for co-parenting, so you are completely justified in cutting her off.

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    • #47
      Tell your ex that you can't afford a cell phone any longer due to the high cost of litigation with her. Every time your lawyer is receiving something from them it's costing YOU as well.

      Then, get a new number.

      Comment


      • #48
        You're incorrectly assuming I'm the one with the problem that needs fixing. Email communication has been working great.
        Errrrr...NO, on the contrary. That said, how much is a peace of mind and happiness worth to you, or do you plan to continue pursuing it at all cost?

        Personally, text still plays a role in my situation, but it's for quick reminders and last minute come ups.

        Not everyone has the data package on their phone to utilize the "smart" functions. Yes there are hotspots, but they aren't always "open" i.e. free for all

        Anyway....it's a personal issue, and am sure you will handle it accordingly

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        • #49
          Originally posted by FWB View Post
          Errrrr...NO, on the contrary. That said, how much is a peace of mind and happiness worth to you, or do you plan to continue pursuing it at all cost?

          Personally, text still plays a role in my situation, but it's for quick reminders and last minute come ups.

          Not everyone has the data package on their phone to utilize the "smart" functions. Yes there are hotspots, but they aren't always "open" i.e. free for all

          Anyway....it's a personal issue, and am sure you will handle it accordingly
          After some nasty phone calls and ranting texts. ( yes you can scream in a text USING CAPITALS) Mom has emailed to ex that she prefers all future communication to be by email. Phone and texts will not be answered. Phone or text can only be used In the event of an emergency.

          Next day : text message. " Its an emergency. Call me asap". She did not and apparently, he emailed later stating "he was not playing her games" and if she had bothered to respond to his text she would have known that he was running late for his dinner date and would not be able to Skype with son at 5:30 that evening! And would have been able to accommodate him and setup the Skype earlier!

          So We have cut and pasted some of the above the comments on what constitutes an emergency and will be emailing it to him.

          I agree, texting is overrated and overused. Constant texts allows the other party to have perceived control over your life. Using only emails as your form of communication allow you the opportunity to choose when you read them and if and when you will respond. Also avoids those gut reaction responses.

          Comment


          • #50
            Originally posted by Mess View Post
            Also, "lines of communication" don't need to be opened. There are only two kinds of messages that NEED to be sent: "We are on the way to the hospital.." or "Can we switch weekends next month.."
            I agree. 90% of separated parents over communicate.

            Originally posted by Mess View Post
            When my daughter was born we didn't even own cell phones, or bother to get them for years afterwards. It's debatable whether we really NEED them at all.
            I agree. Some modern conveniences have made us less productive as a society. Most justices are "old" and lived in a world without Television at one point in their lives.

            Originally posted by Mess View Post
            My ex works in a hospital and has to keep hers off for most of the day. I turn my ringer off and leave it in my bag most of the day. If the school calls with an emergency, they leave a message and we get back to them within an hour or so, just like my mum did. Her mum didn't even have a phone.
            Excellent point again.

            Originally posted by Mess View Post
            If you need one for work, it is for that purpose, not for the purpose of being on-call for your ex. You don't ever have to be expected to be on-call for an ex.
            Again I agree.

            People generally over communicate with the other parent. If you have healthy children without special needs the communications can be done with one or two emails a month (depending on the children's age).

            If you look at it from another angle... Children spend most of their time at school and daycare. If you need to communicate with whom they spend the most time with, you should be talking to the teacher and daycare workers WAY MORE than the other parent as they see the children more often and for longer periods of time.

            Good Luck!
            Tayken

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            • #51
              People generally over communicate with the other parent. If you have healthy children without special needs the communications can be done with one or two emails a month (depending on the children's age).
              Agreed. You really have to ask yourself what her motives are.

              The difference between texting and email communication is monumental with ex's like FBs. Texting lends itself to a lot of quick, short messages back and forth and people that like texting tend to do it often and with a lot of unnecessary information and expect multiple replies. Email is generally different. People try to write emails which contain all the information needed in one message. Texting can be misinterpreted more easily than email. Email generally results in far less communication but far more effective communication. Text messages are more likely to be lost or deleted where as email can more easily be stored and retrieved.

              As I said, its about motives. There's a reason why this ex wants instant, constant communication and it has nothing to do with the children. Its more about control, ownership and neediness.

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              • #52
                Thank you all for your feedback... If and when I get something from the lawyer I will respond accordingly.

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                • #53
                  Enjoy it FB. She's not going to be happy with the response but it might finally stop her bothering you about it.

                  She's a hard one to train probably due to her personality and your history but eventually she'll get it.

                  Comment

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