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  • #46
    If the only reason you are going back to court is to get additional parenting time then you may be out of luck. You can file for a new date and present your case but at the ages of your kids a judge may only give her a warning but not change the agreement.

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    • #47
      Ages 10 and 11.. I'm at of the luck? What do you mean by a warning?

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      • #48
        Originally posted by MjD View Post
        Ages 10 and 11.. I'm at of the luck? What do you mean by a warning?


        The judge *may* give her a little stern talking to about withholding access or not providing you with additional time or make up time for the travel but they won’t make an order to change it just because she is following the item about your work schedule.

        By the time you get past the first discussion conference the kids will be another year older. A judge would recommend how you approach it but an order will result from a trial. You probably won’t get that far and if you do, it will be two years later.

        Your kids aren’t under the age of 5. A judge can’t order her to drop them off. You have an existing agreement that says she can keep them if you are working. Shes not wrong. Truly the only gray area on this is having to travel on your weekend but in actuality, you ARE with the kids during that time, she isn’t taking it away. The only thing you are asking for is additional time and there may not be any additional time that works for everyones schedule.

        You have to be realistic about this. If the only thing you are asking for is to spend a few more hours a week, a motion may not accomplish that. She isn’t withholding access, shes following an agreement. If you are trying to fight for 50/50 after all this time, you would have to demonstrate a material change. A travel sport doesn’t meet that.

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        • #49
          Originally posted by rockscan View Post
          The judge *may* give her a little stern talking to about withholding access or not providing you with additional time or make up time for the travel but they won’t make an order to change it just because she is following the item about your work schedule.

          By the time you get past the first discussion conference the kids will be another year older. A judge would recommend how you approach it but an order will result from a trial. You probably won’t get that far and if you do, it will be two years later.

          Your kids aren’t under the age of 5. A judge can’t order her to drop them off. You have an existing agreement that says she can keep them if you are working. Shes not wrong. Truly the only gray area on this is having to travel on your weekend but in actuality, you ARE with the kids during that time, she isn’t taking it away. The only thing you are asking for is additional time and there may not be any additional time that works for everyones schedule.

          You have to be realistic about this. If the only thing you are asking for is to spend a few more hours a week, a motion may not accomplish that. She isn’t withholding access, shes following an agreement. If you are trying to fight for 50/50 after all this time, you would have to demonstrate a material change. A travel sport doesn’t meet that.

          Since consenting to travel more than once over the course of weekend for extra-curricular activities is unsustainable (which breaches the court order) because my ex-wife won't give me any additional time and accommodate my work schedule. Would a judge give me any stern about that? I'm sure he will make order to do that as well?

          I'm requesting:

          *4 consecutive weekends (April when the children are done hockey and cheer-leading)
          *Makeup time if I have to work or at least accommodating to my work schedule(Remove the detail about suspending access if I have to work from the original order)
          * Currently my ex gets additional week in the summer I'm requesting that this week be alternating
          *P.A days if they happen to fall on my access weekends.

          Yes! your absolutely right about her falling the court order if I'm unavailable.. however I can play that game also and resort back to the court order which specifies that I'm only required to take my children to one extra-curricular activity on my access weekend. Yes this is not in the best interest of children but taking access time away if I'm working with no intention to allow makeup time is not really in the best interest of the children either.

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          • #50
            Originally posted by MjD View Post
            Since consenting to travel more than once over the course of weekend for extra-curricular activities is unsustainable (which breaches the court order)
            Most agreements aren’t sustainable as kids grow. Are you going to demand extra time when your kids get jobs? When they decide to go away with friends? Don’t use unsustainable as an excuse at it won’t work.
            because my ex-wife won't give me any additional time and accommodate my work schedule.
            She doesnt have to accommodate your work schedule. You work on your time, that is your choice.

            Would a judge give me any stern about that? I'm sure he will make order to do that as well?
            Judge will tell you are petty and wasting court time.

            4 consecutive weekends (April when the children are done hockey and cheer-leading)
            Makeup time if I have to work or at least accommodating to my work schedule(Remove the detail about suspending access if I have to work from the original order)

            * Currently my ex gets additional week in the summer I'm requesting that this week be alternating

            *P.A days if they happen to fall on my access weekends.
            The only thing you have a chance at is pa days.

            Yes! your absolutely right about her falling the court order if I'm unavailable.. however I can play that game also and resort back to the court order which specifies that I'm only required to take my children to one extra-curricular activity on my access weekend. Yes this is not in the best interest of children but taking access time away if I'm working with no intention to allow makeup time is not really in the best interest of the children either.

            Petty. See above.

            You are working. You would let the kids sit with a sitter just to mess with your ex? That’s really stupid.

            Comment


            • #51
              Originally posted by rockscan View Post
              Most agreements aren’t sustainable as kids grow. Are you going to demand extra time when your kids get jobs? When they decide to go away with friends? Don’t use unsustainable as an excuse at it won’t work.


              She doesnt have to accommodate your work schedule. You work on your time, that is your choice.



              Judge will tell you are petty and wasting court time.



              The only thing you have a chance at is pa days.




              Petty. See above.

              You are working. You would let the kids sit with a sitter just to mess with your ex? That’s really stupid.
              Very costly to possibly just get P.A days. Doesn't judge even consider the fact that I only have my children 15% of the time? Can't really build a bond on 15% access time with your children? At what age can kids decide who they want to spend time with and can decide on my access weekend that they don't want to spend time with dad or vice versa?

              If I decide to enroll my kids in extra-curricular activities in my city is it mandatory for my ex to drive the distance on her weekends to take them to these activities?

              How do I deal with these issues without going back to court?

              Comment


              • #52
                Originally posted by MjD View Post
                Very costly to possibly just get P.A days. Doesn't judge even consider the fact that I only have my children 15% of the time? Can't really build a bond on 15% access time with your children? At what age can kids decide who they want to spend time with and can decide on my access weekend that they don't want to spend time with dad or vice versa?



                How do I deal with these issues without going back to court?


                You agreed to this schedule. This is an ongoing statement in this forum—always start at 50/50, don’t give away your job as a parent. That was your problem. You can’t suddenly decide that hey you want more time so you can get it. When you are dealing with an unreasonable person you can’t change it.

                Your ex is following the agreement partially. As far as the activities are concerned, you are technically spending time with your kids while they participate in an activity. If you have a pd day off work you can ask but she doesn’t have to agree.

                Unfortunately this is the reality of family law for every other weekend parents. As your kids get older they may start wanting to spend more time with you and you can offer to pick them up for work etc. but for now you are at the mercy of your ex.

                Best advice? Play nice. Don’t fight with her. Offer additional support (not financial) to help with the kids but without being a pushover.

                Comment


                • #53
                  Sorry to say but Rockscan is right... you signed away your rights as an equal parent when you agreed to only 15% parenting time. My husband is in the same situation. Driving your kids to activities IS spending time with them, you’re supporting your children in something they enjoy, you get to talk in the car... why do you think this isn’t spending time together?

                  My step daughter is 11... this past weekend she was to be with us... but she had a friends bday party she really wanted to go to... so guess what... she went to the party instead of coming to our place. It super sucks to not see her but it’s also important she is able to participate in social activities with her friends.


                  Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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                  • #54
                    My husband chose to move several hours away from his kids. We have busted our butts figuring out times to see and spend time with them. His agreement said all the same things—other times as agreed upon, no one will prevent him from taking them on vacation etc. His ex whittled down the time and played the “they have lives” card and he fought tooth and nail. All the fighting did was upset the kids who didn’t want to see him. It was a hard pill to swallow but he did.

                    We get it. Its a terrible situation but there is little you can do.

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                    • #55
                      Update!!

                      Despite me having second thoughts about booking DRO for matters discussed earlier in this thread (additional access and special expenses increase debate) my ex has decided to book DRO for unknown reasons.

                      She insists its matters that can't wait. It's scheduled for Thurs March 26th. I'm fine with this date as long as I receive her brief by Thurs March 12th. From my understanding she has to file this brief with the courts 6 or 7 days before the DRO.

                      1. Lawyer wants $1500 retainer to draft this brief. There has already been MTC filed with the court from opposing counsel regarding matters special expense arrears, and consent to travel. In the meantime I've consented to travel and agreed that I would take my daughter to cheer-leading. Also submitted MTC response. Then I gave another proposal back in October to try to solve the matters of special expense arrears and my request for additional time. Could I just copy and paste this? Plan to be unrepresented for the DRO. Is this something I can draft myself and if things are missed can they be added at the case conference?

                      2. What happens if I don't receive her brief on time or couple days before the conference which won't allow me to reply to her accusations?

                      3. Besides Form 17a Conference Brief What other forms need to be submitted? Form 6B Affidavit of Service and Form 14C Confirmation of Attendance?

                      Comment


                      • #56
                        It's a case conference where the brief is thrown out afterwards. You should be able to do this yourself based on what you're looking for in your MTC response. You know what your ex wants based on their MTC material so their brief is not really important. It's really up to you if you want to fight to adjourn/delay or move forward with the case. No need to stress about DRO.

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                        • #57
                          Just to confirm whats required to file prior to DRO is?

                          Form 6B Affidavit of Service
                          Form 14C Confrimation
                          Form 17C Conference Brief

                          Also does the court accept forms that are double sided?

                          Comment

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