Husband leaving and taking 1/2 of stuff

[janice020204]

Husband has officially taken me off the payroll. He says he is moving out and taking half of the furniture. Should I stop him or is he just making things worse for himself, I will be his forth divorce. He says he is not getting a lawyer and will represent himself be
cause he knows the law. Is he crazy or stupid?

[standing on the sidelines]

Husband has officially taken me off the payroll. He says he is moving out and taking half of the furniture. Should I stop him or is he just making things worse for himself, I will be his forth divorce. He says he is not getting a lawyer and will represent himself be
cause he knows the law. Is he crazy or stupid?

how do you plan on stopping him??? Your best bet is to sit down with him and make a list of who gets what. You may as well work with him and keep the conflict down. Yes he may think he knows the law because of his three divorces (seriously didnt you think that with his track record you would be another one?)

any kids, home owned or are you in a rental?? When you say taken off the payroll did you work for him in a company?

[janice020204]

No kids, home owned, and yes I really thought I could change him. I use to work for him, but I do not work for him anymore just on the payroll.
The sitting down and discussing things has not been very successful and the reason things have gotten this far. It has been a long long time coming. Both in denial and hate each other.

[Rioe]

Why would you want to stop him? Although I would temporarily store anything you consider your personal stuff or anything you have a particular attachment to elsewhere until after he does this moving out of furniture. Then change the locks.

[janice020204]

1. I can change the locks legally once he moves out?
2. How does a judge view him taking stuff before discussing it with me?
3. Does the judge favour the party who started proceedings or does it matter?
4. If he moves out does this affect spousal support?
5. Who pays bills if he moves out?

[janice020204]

I do not want him wrecking my floors or rugs and I have some nice stuff. I know he will abuse the place. Probably walk iin the house with his boots on.

[onlybeginning]

Are you both on title? My ex left the house and my attorney told me I could not change the locks....besides, to change the locks unless you do it yourself, a locksmith will require to see the title, if he's on title, he can just call a locksmith, show he's on title and change them on you...waste of time and money...get anything you don't want taken out of the house, come to an agreement on who gets what or deal with it in court...

[janice020204]

That is what I thought. I cannot change locks. I will send him an email saying what I prefers he takes.

[Rioe]

You change the locks after you file for exclusive possession of the home due to his moving out and establishing a different primary residence.

And be there when he comes to move his stuff. Record him if you have to. If you feel he will be confrontational, have a friend around to witness his moving day.

[Mess]

A friend of mine told me that when she divorced, she found that the process was all about making lists, lists, lists. She had a point.

Make a list of YOUR belongings, things that were always yours, or things obtained during the marriage that are obviously yours (such as clothing.)

Make a list of things you two shared, like the microwave, the coffee table, the patio set.

To some extent, note things that are obviously his, but really that is his job.

Take photos of all important, valuable things. If they have little financial value, but are of sentimental value to you, list them and photograph them.

Anything insurable, with a particular value, should absolutely be photographed and listed.

He should absolutly take his own stuff. He should also take approximately half of things that would be considered both of yours.

If he takes more than half, that is ok as long as you list it, photograph it, and valuate it. The dollar amount should be included in the equalization and if he takes more, then you should get a cash compensation.

It makes more sense to avoid a fight now and get the cash later than to call the police because he is taking the dining room set. The police won't help you.

As others have said, you may not legally change the locks unless you have a court order for exclusive possession of the home. However once he has another residence, for example if he signs a lease on an apartment, then he no longer resides at the matrimonial home. Then you can certainly apply for exclusive possession and expect that he will not show up willy nilly.

He is still part owner of the property and has a right to enter during reasonable hours, if he gives you reasonable notice. You need to be fair about this until you are in a position to buy him out, or trade off some other asset like RRSPs for full ownership of the house.

[Janus]

I do not want him wrecking my floors or rugs and I have some nice stuff. I know he will abuse the place. Probably walk iin the house with his boots on.

I'm curious about this one. Janice is correct, if she is getting the house, then the ex has no reason to be careful while moving stuff out. How can she protect her property?

[Mess]

"I..." "I..." "I..."

The house and the belongings are owned by both of them. If Mr. Ex damages anything, it is his property too.

[janice020204]

Well if you use that logic then, why wouldn't I wreck the house myself and then get it appraised before I buy him out.
I think video taping his move is the best advice.

[Tayken]

"I..." "I..." "I..."

The house and the belongings are owned by both of them. If Mr. Ex damages anything, it is his property too.

!!! !!! !!!

Mess, your so analytical at times! (humour intended)

What the OP fails to realize is that taking half of the matrimonial property is what is allowable under law and known as "equalization".

The OP is very anxious that the other party in the matter is going to miss behave or do something. Until such time that something happens they really can't do anything.

My advice to the OP is to not fall into a "fear trap" and realize that half the contents of the home and half the home are their property and the other half is the other party to the matter's property.

As well, it is "no fault" divorce and yet the OP is trying to find fault in what the other party is doing. Suffice to say, if you go into court trying to project blame (find fault) with the other party a judge won't listen really.

Furthermore, you can't predict the future, you can only deal with the present. If something happens then you do something. Sitting around worrying in an anxious state of "what is going to happen next" is not going to help your situation. This kind of "fear trap" is only going to make matters worse for you.

We all realize that things are changing for you OP... But, it is often better in a situation like this to embrace the change, understand the change, accept the change and move on.

Can the other party do this... Can the other party do that? "I..." "I..." "I..."

My advice to the OP is to really sit down and think about the situation. For what reason, other than their own "fear trap" would the other party destroy property?

Suffice to say, the relationship is over, best to leave the relationship issues behind and split everything 50-50 and move on and stop trying to "find fault" with the other party and realize that divorce is "no fault".

Good Luck!
Tayken

[standing on the sidelines]

Well if you use that logic then, why wouldn't I wreck the house myself and then get it appraised before I buy him out.
I think video taping his move is the best advice.

First off are you sure you would be able to buy him out?? Second if you cannot buy him out then you are lowering your equity in the house also. You are acting on emotion and you need to stop that.