Starting the divorce process?

[walhalla]

Me and my ex have been separated for 6 years and have never started the divorce process, We have three kids together and everything has been a verbal agreement. I get them every weekend and she has them during the week.


With recent events that I have been told by the kids that occurred at their moms I want to get the kids full time. I am just starting to look into it and haven't got a hold of a lawyer. I have a few questions if anyone could help.


How is the court process started?


What forms need to be filled out? and what other documents need to be prepared?


Would it be a good idea to represent myself, and use a lawyer just for advice to save money?


I have been paying slightly less than the table amount of support, would I have to pay back pay? how is it calculated?


Would spousal support be based off of what I made when I was with her or off my current pay?


Am I allowed to record phone calls with her?

How long would a process like this take?

[Kinso]

Most of these questions cannot be answered in a factual vacuum. You need to speak to a lawyer who knows the whole story before proper answers can be given.

I strongly suggest you have a couple of consultations before you opt to ‘go it alone’. The money saved up front may be spent 10x over if early mistakes are made.

[rockscan]

Me and my ex have been separated for 6 years and have never started the divorce process, We have three kids together and everything has been a verbal agreement. I get them every weekend and she has them during the week.


With recent events that I have been told by the kids that occurred at their moms I want to get the kids full time. I am just starting to look into it and haven't got a hold of a lawyer. I have a few questions if anyone could help.

Unless she has physically harmed them, sold photos to child porn sites or endangered them in any way you may not get anywhere with this. She’s got six year status quo which does not bode well for a change. You may be better off seeking a solution to whatever is happening and/or simply putting together a new schedule with more time. Ask yourself how you would feel if she decided you shouldn’t have the kids and filed to keep them.

How is the court process started?

You file an application for custody. Prepare for a long expensive drawn out process with other agencies reporting in with assessments and other observations.

Would it be a good idea to represent myself, and use a lawyer just for advice to save money?

For a custody battle? Good luck. In addition to a lawyer you will need an assessor possibly ($30,000) and then the judge will call in a childrens lawyer and social workers. The only person I have heard of self repping successfully was WorkingDad (search it) and his case was a time consuming litigation nightmare.

I have been paying slightly less than the table amount of support, would I have to pay back pay? how is it calculated?

Focus more on how much money you will pay to a lawyer. Start at $50,000 and then decide if you can feed another 50 into the machine every year.

Would spousal support be based off of what I made when I was with her or off my current pay?

She would have to prove entitlement.

Am I allowed to record phone calls with her?

That would be a no and the judge would say a very hard no.

How long would a process like this take?

Years.

[Tayken]

See replies given to you in 2018. They still stand in 2020.

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