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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #1  
Old 11-19-2013, 02:05 PM
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Default 12 year old talking to the judge in private

My Trial is scheduled for early next year and I want to make sure everything is planned well. I would like my 12 yr old child to be given a chance to talk to the Judge in private. Why I want this, is because OCL does not express his views at all in court. I am told that OCL mandate is to express the views of the child, however time and time again, OCL counsel has said nothing about what my childs views and wishes are.

My questions are : 1. I have a TMC and S/C coming up soon, is that the time to request it? The TMC judge will not be doing the trial, so how does that work, does the TMC Judge give the "go ahead".

2. OCL will vehemently oppose this request I know for sure, as then the judge will know the child's preferences and views.

I understand this is a delicate situation. My child is not a 5 or 6 yr old. He turns 13 early next year. I am not asking for him to address the court, just to talk to the judge in private to express his views.

suggestions/advice?

as always thanks! this forum rocks, really informative
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Old 11-19-2013, 03:23 PM
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DON"T DO IT. This looks like a very manipulative maneuver on your part and will not be regarded well by the judge. I understand that you aren't happy with OCL, but you need to work with the system here, not against it.

If I am correct, you are also the one whose pre-teen kids are writing letters to judges asking for changes in custody arrangements? This all just looks really bad. Nobody will believe you aren't influencing them to do this.
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Old 11-19-2013, 03:46 PM
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thanks,, yes wanted views on this. The Judge actually said that he may want to speak to the children as they are of an age that can express views. However it may be best for him to decide that I guess
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Old 11-19-2013, 06:20 PM
Links17 Links17 is offline
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Is ocl accusing you of manipulating the child?

Secondly, are you?

Thirdly, what will the child say the judge different than they said to the ocl that will give the judge a different view than the ocl?
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Old 11-19-2013, 09:27 PM
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Yes OCL is accusing me of manipulating the child. I am in no shape or form manipulating my child. Do I miss my child OH yes I do, but I also realise that this is a good test for both of us. What OCL doesn't seem to understand is the bond that we have developed. From day one I have been there for my kids. I have always been self employed. I have very flexible hours, that gives me lots of time to spend with my kids. Thats what IMO creates a strong bond and a lasting friendship. Its the quality time a parent spends with their kids. Kids at school playing in the snow trousers wet, a call to dad, kids not feeling well, who gets called... Dad. I was the one volunteering in the kids schools, going for class trips. When kids grow older they remember all this. OCL meeting the kids three times for 1/2 hr in their lifetime feel confident to make a decision of alienation. A decision that will have serious implications to the family.
My son continues to write letters to me, as his mother wont allow him to call me, even though there is no order against him calling me. He tells me how he misses me, and cant wait to see me again. He is old enough to know that OCL was the cause of him being taken away. He is naturally angry and sad. He hasnt said he wants to speak to the judge, however I thought may be its a good idea, as the Judge briefly said, that it may be a good idea to talk to the boy. Hence my post.
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