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  • child custody from abusive wife

    I have been living 'terribly' through my married life. My wife is extremely bossy and dominating..
    but the problem isnt this. The problem is that she gets bouts of anger and seldom gets abusive and voilent
    So much as that she has attacked me several times with knife, hammers etc.
    Several times I saved myself but 3 times I got serious life threatening injuries. The knife wounds were so much that I had to
    be admitted to emergencies on all 3 occassions..but was fine enough to avoid the ambulance I still have stich marks over my bodies due to those cuts
    In all these 3 ocassions, I told the surprised hospital staff that I met with an accident inside home

    If you wonder why I kept living with her?? Its because I have 2 lovely daughters.. just cant imagine them
    losing the family bliss.. my wife isnt bad on them.. although she occassionly does
    get physical with them out of anger but not to the level of physical harm. Also after every attack, my wife used to get
    apologetic and promises never to do the attack again and will get anger management treatment

    Recently, she has become very disrespectful. She, on the contrary, mocks me for not reporting her to the police
    and several times gloat that next time she will make sure I dont see the hospital staff to answer them about her attack(kill me completely)
    I feel so pained for being slapped and rediculed for being kind to her
    I have 3 questions..
    1. Can I report attacks that were done to me , say 3 yrs ago , but that still have residual cut marks over my body to punish her?
    2. I luckily made videos in which she is getting out of her mind dancing naked in street and in front of our kids..
    Also have videos of her slapping me continuously in front
    of kids in anger while am defending myself of her crazy anger. WIll these help me get child custody of my daughters?
    3, My kids love me more than their mother but they are mere 4 and 6. Will their choice for staying with me matter?

  • #2
    https://menandfamilies.org/family-sh...-and-children/

    I would contact this organization and get some help and advice. I'd also call CAS as your children shouldnt be witness to this horrific abuse.

    I am shocked and appauled the hospital didnt report this. You must report this yourself! Life threatening attacks are attempted murder charges.

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by divorceakai View Post
      The problem is that she gets bouts of anger and seldom gets abusive and voilent
      So much as that she has attacked me several times with knife, hammers etc.
      Several times I saved myself but 3 times I got serious life threatening injuries... If you wonder why I kept living with her?? Its because I have 2 lovely daughters.. just cant imagine them... losing the family bliss..
      How will your daughters have a father, if you are gone and buried? Or a mother in prison? What kind of bliss do you think they have now, wondering when mom will blow up next? Do you want them to learn that this behavior is ok?

      Not only do you need serious help, NOW, you need to report this.

      my wife isnt bad on them.. although she occassionly does
      get physical with them out of anger but not to the level of physical harm.
      The key word you need to remember is ... YET!... How long before she does cause harm?

      Also after every attack, my wife used to get
      apologetic and promises never to do the attack again and will get anger management treatment
      Empty words to keep you around. She hasn't gotten help has she?


      1. Can I report attacks that were done to me , say 3 yrs ago , but that still have residual cut marks over my body to punish her?
      Yes you can and you should. They may not act on it, but they can advise you what your rights are.

      2. I luckily made videos in which she is getting out of her mind dancing naked in street and in front of our kids..
      Also have videos of her slapping me continuously in front
      of kids in anger while am defending myself of her crazy anger. WIll these help me get child custody of my daughters?
      I would report this to CAS

      3, My kids love me more than their mother but they are mere 4 and 6. Will their choice for staying with me matter?
      No, they are still too young for their choice to matter. What will matter are police reports, CAS reports, etc... to prove that she is currently unfit.

      You may still love your wife, and wish for a happy family. It won't happen until she gets help.

      Your priority now is to get yourself and the kids into a safe and loving environment. If that means applying for full custody, and leaving, then seek legal advice and do so.

      Comment


      • #4
        ^everything thing that has already been said is true.

        If she's causing this much harm to you- it will move to your children. Protect your children, protect yourself.

        I don't know where you are- but this organization can get you to the right people to help you- Luke's Place in oshawa ontario:

        Telephone: 905.728.0978
        Toll Free: 1.866.516.3116
        Fax: 905.725.0101

        Comment


        • #5
          you are in a domestic abuse situation. Unless she gets help, it will not get better, it will get worse. Please get help for yourself and your kids. I know of what I speak of, I am a domestic abuse survivor and I know its hard to get out but you can do it.

          You say you stay with her for the family bliss. I am sorry but this isnt a blissful family situation. Your daughters are seeing how their mother treats you and you can bet that is forming an impression in their minds. Let me put it to you this way, how would you feel if someone treated your daughters this way? Would you not tell them that they deserve better and to get out?

          Think of the life you and your daughters could have without the constant tension of wondering when Mom is going to go off the rails and hurt you or them.

          Comment


          • #6
            Thank you all.. I have decided to go for it..

            Comment


            • #7
              Luke's Place sadly does not assist men affected by domestic violence...better to reach out to the John Howard Society.

              Originally posted by iona6656 View Post
              ^everything thing that has already been said is true.

              If she's causing this much harm to you- it will move to your children. Protect your children, protect yourself.

              I don't know where you are- but this organization can get you to the right people to help you- Luke's Place in oshawa ontario:

              Telephone: 905.728.0978
              Toll Free: 1.866.516.3116
              Fax: 905.725.0101

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by vocalfather View Post
                Luke's Place sadly does not assist men affected by domestic violence...better to reach out to the John Howard Society.
                wow. really? I would think they would at least direct the men to the right resource. I've used their services before- and even though I moved out of the jurisdiction- they tried to help connect me to services in my area.

                Comment

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