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  • 2-2-5 schedule concerns

    When the spouse and I discussed things we believed week about meant too much time away from the parents for the kids and vice-versa.

    The 2-2-5 schedule is normally 5 days away but because the way we want one on one time with each child it means that we have 6 days apart from the kids.
    Every Mon/tues and wed/thurs they will be with the same parent forever.

    We are still on week about and with the proposed modified 2-2-5 6 days doesn't sound that much different than 7 days.

    The kids are 4 and 11

    Is a 2-2-3 schedule a bit of a mess?

  • #2
    How long have you been on week about already? Is it court ordered or just mutual agreement? How far apart do you live? More importantly, how are the children handling week about already?

    Personal opinion for those with 50/50, I think 2/2/5 is good for younger children who can’t be away from either parent too long. But as they get older/more independent I would think week about would be the way to go, especially once more extracurriculars and a social life come into play. Hard to hang out with friends/focus on homework etc when you’re constantly being shipped back and forth.

    If the kids are doing ok on week about then just leave it alone. Alternatively maybe the 11 year old is doing ok, but you could agree to a gradual schedule change for the 4 year old? Ie start with 2/2/5 for 4yo, and over the next 2 years make minor changes until its eventually the same schedule as their older sibling?

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    • #3
      Originally posted by GreenGrass View Post
      We are still on week about and with the proposed modified 2-2-5 6 days doesn't sound that much different than 7 days.
      It is day and night.

      It helps a lot with ex spouses who do not get along, since each parent is solely responsible for their own days.

      Is a 2-2-3 schedule a bit of a mess?
      Yes, it has all the bad parts of 2255, and none of the good parts.

      Originally posted by selfrepmom
      Hard to hang out with friends/focus on homework etc when you’re constantly being shipped back and forth.
      Who is shipping anyone anywhere? M-Tu kids go home to one house, W-Th they go home to the other house. Almost all long term schoolwork is done online which is schedule independent, and short term schoolwork is usually due the next day which is also schedule independent.

      Same thing with friends. They know they are with mom on Tuesday, so can easily make plans for Tuesday. They know they are with dad on Wednesday, so they can make plans for Wednesday.

      2255 is objectively better than week about, in every single way. You can make some arguments for 223, but I would recommend starting with 2255 at any age. I find concerns about lengths of time away from kids are usually parent focused.

      Originally posted by backtogreen
      but because the way we want one on one time with each child it means that we have 6 days apart from the kids.
      I would recommend not actually doing this. You can carve out alone time by making play dates. Soon the 11 year old will be hanging out with friends. You take the stability of the 2255 and make it less stable. Why bother?

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      • #4
        The general rule is...

        Children < 4 years of age 2-2-3.
        Children > 4 years of age 2-2-5-5.

        Listen to Janus.

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        • #5
          I have 2.2.5.5 and it's pretty good. There are no long gaps between when you see and don't see your kids. Just 5 days once every 2 weeks. You pretty much see them every week.

          My favorite thing though is I can arrange my own extraciricular activities on Wednesday and Thursday and mom hers on Mondays and Tuesdays.

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          • #6
            Originally posted by tunnelight View Post
            My favorite thing though is I can arrange my own extraciricular activities on Wednesday and Thursday and mom hers on Mondays and Tuesdays.
            This.

            It matters more than you think. Much much much more than you think.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by Janus View Post
              This.

              It matters more than you think. Much much much more than you think.
              It reduces conflict significantly between parents. I don't think assessors and the courts emphasize this value enough.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Tayken View Post
                It reduces conflict significantly between parents. I don't think assessors and the courts emphasize this value enough.
                You're right. Instead, they're of the view that shared parenting cannot work for conflicted parents.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by tunnelight View Post
                  You're right. Instead, they're of the view that shared parenting cannot work for conflicted parents.
                  That is the OCL. You would be hard pressed to find a reputable S.30 assessor with that opinion.

                  A good read on a debunking of that is in VK and TS. Long read. Justice Chappel really does a good review on "conflict" and shared custody.

                  https://www.canlii.org/en/on/onsc/do...1onsc4305.html

                  It all boils down to "custody". (Shared Custody is a tax law thing.)

                  Sole Custody
                  Full Joint Custody
                  Joint Custody in "Parallel"

                  This case law set the bar for having to disprove Joint Custody in "Parallel" prior to simply awarding "Sole Custody".

                  Joint custody in high conflict cases is a non-starter. But, added "parallel parenting" into the mix and the judge really needs to think. They have to evaluate the evidence harder.

                  Also, in the matter of parallel parenting... a parent should always take schooling. So much turns on schooling. It is something the children attend for the majority of the year. The location of the school determines a lot when it comes to residential jurisdiction.

                  Most children are healthy. They don't even recommend yearly checkups anymore. Most children will only see their FP 10-12 times before they are 18. But, in a matter of 3 weeks, they have interacted more with their educational providers than their health care providers in their entire lifetime.

                  Now I am talking in the case of 90% of children who are healthy. Throw an LTD or LTMHD and the game changes. I am only talking to the majority.

                  Comment

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