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  • #16
    Cynthia some people get so caught up in the fight they are blinded and can't think rationally. For many it's all about winning rather than is in what is in the best interests of the child. Sure they 'talk the talk' but it always comes down to the almighty buck.

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    • #17
      He is in Daycare 4 days a week already and he loves it! He will be in school full time in September. I offered her CS as normal and mid-range of SS, which she may not even be entitled to, with no mention of her day or imputing income, but since her lawyer is trying to discredit my expenses I.e. If I take a client for dinner, they want me to only use 25% as a bus expense etc. And trying to get full CS (no offset) even though I have him 47% of the time. For me, I felt I was being very reasonable but she is just out for the last buck. Btw, because the system is so unfair in this regard for self employed peeps, she'd have more than me at the end of the month. So please, save it.....I've always been an involved dad. Why can't I have a day off with him?

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      • #18
        I did not mean to offend you, you have more personal knowledge about the situation and I am sorry.

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        • #19
          I know, its not you. I am just frustrated with the whole thing. I never wanted it to be like this, I wanted to be fair right from the start....that's why I offered that without even getting into the whole entitlement thing. Now, I feel like my wife's friends and her lawyer are pushing her to go after every little penny, even if she knows its really not fair.

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          • #20
            Originally posted by cynthia10 View Post
            Sorry but for an extra couple of hundred bucks a month would you not rather the mother of your child raise him rather than daycare?
            I declined SS after being a stay at home mom for 10 years, and when I asked for a little more in Child support so I could remain at home at work Part time on weekends he said no....my baby now 14, went to daycare at 2 and a half, and to this day while still a great kid is totally different then the other 2 that had me home the entire time.......he still had to pay 1/2 the daycare expenses....which ended up being a whole lot more then I asked for...
            My kids both went to daycare and they both totally different in many ways. However both are kind, loving, well socialized, funny, intelligent, get great marks.

            A friend of mine homeschooled her 4 kids. Her kids are also very well adjusted, and all totally different in many ways.

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            • #21
              Originally posted by stressfultimes View Post
              I've always been an involved dad. Why can't I have a day off with him?
              Why can't you? Make arrangements with your job to only work four days a week, which hopefully isn't impossible if you're self-employed, and reduce the kid to three days a week of daycare. If you want it that badly, make it happen. If your ex and her lawyer argue, explain that you've been observing how her day off with the boy succeeds for them, and you've decided it would be good for your relationship with him to do the same. They can't argue for it for her and not for you without looking completely hypocritical. Assure her you'll increase your hours again when he goes to school full time, like she intends to do.

              As for the finances, skip spousal support entirely. The onus is on her to prove entitlement.

              If you have 47% custody, child support is going to be by offset. To determine starting amount, use her most recent paystub vs your most recent business estimate (lower than previous years for both of you), or the average of her three most recent working years vs your three (higher for her, less for you). Offer both those systems and let her pick which one, to be fair. Then you can do standard annual adjust after that based on real income.

              By the time you are done arguing for her income to be imputed to five days a week, it's going to be Sept 2013 anyways, and you'll be out more in legal fees than you would pay in extra CS. If she doesn't go back full time at that time as agreed, you have a much stronger case for imputing.

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              • #22
                Being self-employed lets you determine your own work day/week. Payment of spousal support, if she proves entitlement, will likely be determined on your employment income history (past) not on what you estimate you will make (future). If you want to work 2 days a week that's entirely up to you but be prepared to pay what is calculated on past income earning history. I realize it is frustrating but the process is in place for those people who reduce their income simply to try to get out of paying support.

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                • #23
                  Originally posted by stressfultimes View Post
                  .....I've always been an involved dad. Why can't I have a day off with him?
                  So do just that. You're self employed, make up your own hours. I work 60 hrs a week, but the days I drop/pickup my child I only work 6 hours a day. the days without him I work 10-12.

                  Put your kid over your job, arrange your job around your kid time and wa-la! I'm sure that is easier said then done but I'm sure you can find a way.

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