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  • Separation of Siblings?

    After my STBX tried every avenue in court to limit/restrict my time with my son so that she can have him to herself and never see me again, she is now trying the "cannot separate siblings" approach as a hail mary.

    The problem is that the siblings are 10 years apart in age, and on top of that half-siblings. My son is 4 years old and his half-brother is 13 years old. I cannot believe I am there in court arguing that its important for a son to spend time with his dad, albeit at the expense of hurt feelings to the teenager. Why should I take a back seat as a parent because the 13 year old doesn't want to share his brother? I support their relationship but he should be wanting to be with others his own age.

    It is so absurd that I am having a hard time finding case-law to support my argument. Time with dad means time away from the brother. But if all time is spent with brother, kid does not see dad. Any case law out there anyone aware of?

  • #2
    It is absolutely unbelievable the lengths some people go to in order to feel important. I am no expert on law but can tell you my story.

    I have two sons, 26 and 22, from my first relationship. One has flown the coop and now lives and works in Seattle. The other is completing college and happily bounces between homes. Relationship #2 produced twin sons who are now 10. My eldest was 15 when they were born and was off to university when the twins were little. They only saw each other when he came home during semester breaks/changes. Now that he has begun his life in Seattle, we don't see him in person that often.

    All this to say, your ex and her lawyer are full of crap. My twins and son in Seattle have a very special relationship because they don't see each other very often. Neither one has been harmed in any way due to the separation. Your little guy is going to be just fine and he and his brother will cultivate their relationship as they will.

    I would personally sit back and watch this crapshoot fail. Again, I know nothing about law surrounding this. But she and her lawyer should be laughed out of court, paying your costs.

    Both kiddos will be fine.

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    • #3
      Well if that’s the case I guess my step kids better come live full time with their dad and I...

      My step kids are 14 and 11, my two kids are almost 2 & 1... it’s extremely hard on my kiddos when their older siblings leave, the 14 is super close to how you get siblings and also hates leaving them... but it would never be a change in circumstances that would allow us to change the access agreement. Splitting up children refers to full siblings... are you seriously in court for this or is she threatening?


      Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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      • #4
        Its not like you are seeking full physical custody. A couple days a week or every other weekend is nothing. This is a ploy by your ex.

        Whenever it seems far fetched its normally a grasping at straws thing.

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        • #5
          I am seeking joint custody and 50/50 parenting. Middle of the road. Her son can enjoy his time with our child during the 50% of the time he is with her. Office of the Children's Lawyer sided with me, as its clear she is trying every avenue to pursue her own agenda----have kid for herself and for me to "stay away and pay".

          There is lots of case law about not separating siblings, which I agree, but not when there is such an age gap and its clearly a ploy she is using to get what she wants. Any case law anyone aware of?

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          • #6
            To answer Berner_Faith, yes, she is legitimately arguing the separation of 1/2 siblings a decade in age difference. Her original court papers had tons of allegations against me which I debunked as the file progressed, and over the course of a number of settlement conferences where the judges sided with me. Having exhausted all avenues of trying to bash me to no avail, she is now trying the “can’t separate siblings” approach. It’s a ploy to maximize CS for as long as possible, as I’m seeking 50/50 (which the OCL agreed).

            She said she did her research and has case law. I call BS as it’s likely case law if ACTUAL siblings, who are likely close in age (and not a decade apart). Problem for me, is that her argument is so asinine that I’m having a hard time finding case law where the argument is decided on. She is self-repped, as I’m sure most lawyers would have talked her out of presenting the argument.

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            • #7
              In my case I’m arguing with someone grasping at straws to get what they want: child to themselves and a windfall of CS for 20 years. Very obvious. Fictitious and over-exaggerated allegations that I debunked, so now plays the sibling card. Trying to play at heartstrings of judge that it would break a 1/2 sibling’s heart, regardless of a decade age difference. I am “robbing” their bond. Meanwhile my ex is oblivious that she herself is robbing our kid of having a normal parent-child relationship due to her viewpoints.

              Any advice or case law would help. It’s hard to find as the notion she is presenting is so far-fetched it’s barely been argued in court. Separation of siblings? Yes. But separation of 1/2 siblings 10 years in age difference as a reason to keep dad away???

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              • #8
                I might be wrong, but I think you’re digging too deeply into this.

                Her claim is just what you say it is: Ridiculous. If we all spent our time trying to find case law to disprove our ex’s ridiculous claims, we would all be pretty busy. There isn’t case law on it because crap like that doesn’t make it to trial. Your trial management judge will (should) nip it in the bud without you having to say barely anything.
                If she brings it up at the next conference and the judge doesn’t cut her down right away, my response would be “your honour, while I respect and cherish my child’s relationship with their half brother/sister, I think it is a waste of the court’s precious time and resources to even begin debating that a child’s time with a half sibling ten years their senior should take precedence over the child’s time with either parent.”
                And leave it at that.

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